Get your front foot down and get them while they're hot! We've got league-leading impatience available for you at rock bottom prices!
- Out of zone swings? WE GOT'EM
- League Worst On Base Percentage? WE'RE NEARLY THERE!
- Contact Rate on Pitches in the Hitting Zone? BOTTOM FIVE AND AIMING FOR THE CELLAR!
- Walk per Strike Out Rate? SO LOW, YOU'D THINK WE'VE SUFFERED BRAIN DAMAGE!!
- Fly Balls? LEAGUE MOST! More balls sent skyward than the Pride Parade!
- Infield Fly Balls aka Automatic Outs? CAN'T BEAT US IN THE AMERICAN LEAGUE!
It's fine, we've got some big sticks on this club. We're so good, in fact, we aren't interested in getting into hitter's counts, the 2010 Toronto Blue Jays are all about trying to hit the pitcher's pitch. We'll flail at a thousand sliders low and away before we take one fastball off the plate. Aggression isn't just out motto, it's our way of life!
1 To be fair, both these guys pitched brilliantly. Credit to them; though pitching against the Jays isn't exactly grounds for hazard pay these days.
Image courtesy of Flickr user Nep, depression courtesy of Fangraphs.