Not Biting

Nope. No matter how many times the Jays storm the castle against Prince Ponson. No matter where they rank in ERA (first), runs allowed (first, the only team under 500), or bullpen ERA (first again).

No matter how much better the offence has been (appreciably), no matter where that offence is coming from (MAC!), no matter how banged up the Red Sox are (scabby), no matter how much disarray the Yankees are in (dizzying). I will not get involved in any LAYOFFS! talk for for three more weeks. I am promising this to myself more than anyone else on Earth.

Quickly:

• I'm sure that everyone has seen the LOLJays site. Humorous as it is, the poor guy seems to have run out of either material or time. I propose he start doing LOLswingz. Pictures of Major League batters feebly waving at Roy Halladay's nasty, unhittable shit. Poor Johnny Damon had a good series, yet was made to look so bad by both Burnett and Halladay. So there you go Harold, bring the lulz.
• Will Rain of The Southpaw does more excellent work, this time crunching prospective payroll numbers for next year.
• Billy Beane has decided that left-handed shitballers are the new fat walking guys
• Obviously it is dependent on the Mets' club option, but I am all for breaking the bank for Carlos Delgado.

Enjoy the Jason Bay Canadorgy, I'm WoWing this weekend, stop buy and up the mirth.

Bald Men Express Outrage After Comparison To Blue Jays

Wow.

I knew these two teams were having trouble scoring runs, but that was something completely different. Halladay was dominant, his curve and sinker leaving the Red Sox kicking at the darkness until it bled daylight. But even Roy Halladay at his best couldn't overcome the angry, angry gods; who have seen fit to punish any and all persons associated with the Toronto Blue Jays baseball club. The Jays aren't doing themselves any favors by hitting the Midget second in the order.

Dustin McGowan will man the hill tonight, well aware that nothing short of a perfect game will result in a W. Dice-K will kick off his sandals and leave his houseboy to tend to the goldfish as he takes the ball against the Jays. Matsuzaka is known to be a little wild, which means the Jays have a chance. Perhaps he will walk in a run, or the Jays can parlay their new "steal bases to avoid the double play" offensive strategy into a some sort of double-secret-probationary balk/run allowance. Because they simple aren't scoring any other way.

BREAKING NEWS

OPS EXPRESS DERAILED! DOZENS OF VILLAGERS KILLED!

Sigh. Adam Lind's arrival was marked with much cheering and celebrating, and anticipation that he would lead the Blue Jay salvation. Instead, he's sitting on a glorious 0-fer, seemingly unable to make solid contact. At least he isn't striking out, with only 1 K against his 1 walk. There have been some grumblings and some told-you-so's emanating from the Blue Jays blogger cabal about the performance of Reed Johnson versus Shannon Stewart. I was certainly all for sending Reed packing, buying into the logic and numbers that suggested 2006 was an anomaly. Shannon Stewart hasn't looked great much of the year, despite drawing a few walks. Reed will regress, Lind will come around (he is certainly not a quad-A tweener that can't make the final leap, in my eyes) and Shannon Stewart was a good bit of business. Unless the Jays don't score another run for a week. Then anything is possible.