Saturday, April 10, 2010

Do That A Dozen More Times and We're All Getting Lapdances

No, Dana Eveland will not pitch into the 8th inning every time out this season. Additionally, Dana Eveland will not hold opponents to .208 BABIP with a whiff rate just north of 3%.

BUT—and given his track record, it's a rather large "but"—if Dana Eveland can surrender one well-earned walk and one "what the fuck is he thinking, that's Julio fucking Lugo" walk a dozen more times between now and the end of the season, he'll be rich.

Dana Eveland does get hit pretty hard at times. It's natural; he doesn't throw hard and obviously doesn't miss many bats. But he keeps the ball in the park and he generates a fuckton of ground balls. If Eveland goes out and manages to do his thing while throwing strikes, he'll win 60% of his starts. If he makes 20 starts, he wins 13 games. Easily.

Some nights the hits will come in bunches or the defense won't be nearly as strong as it was tonight, no matter how well he throws it. Some nights he'll revert back to Dana Eveland - Professional Journeyman and walk everyone; leading to short outings and crooked numbers. But a guy that doesn't issue free passes while keeping the ball in the park and on the ground gets away with a solid single every innings.

In a world where Jarrod Washburn's career earnings exceed $50 million dollars, a grounder machine who promises not to walk anyone is certainly valuable. Meanwhile the Rogers Center is awash in free money after a Spring Training minor league invitee finally pays off. Many innings eaten, many arb clocks spared. Sounds like a party. Keep throwing strikes Dana.

Reuters image stolen from Daylife. You may notice that isn't a picture of Dana Eveland, the subject of this post. Well that incredible 'stache is tossing to Eveland, so it'll have to do. Besides, that looks like a man who knows his way around the business end of a lapdance.


  1. Besides, that looks like a man who knows his way around the business end of a lapdance.

    Didn't know Lyle Overbay was also a police officer.

  2. Lyle Overbay looks like the kind of guy who would own the "Moustache Rides: $5,000" T-shirt.

  3. "Beecher" Overbay has been nails on "D" this year. Perhaps he gets into enough games for the GG this year. Statistically he should have beat out Texeira for the GG last year had it not been for Cito's man-love of Millar


    Loverbay needs to shave. Youkilis pulls that off so well because he is a douchebag.

    . . . or maybe he's not allowed to shave until he has a good game.

  5. Eveland doesn't have the most excellent track record. I was surprised to see him burst out of the gates in Spring. I didn't see him as an 'impact signing' by AA. I don't think anyone really does? More of a guy just used for depth, so we don't have a situation where we call up Brett Cecil hardly a couple starts into AA.

    I'd really like Eveland to make a big splash in the Jays rotation, but I agree that I should know better. Great work.


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