As you are well aware, the offseason fucking sucks. My incredible foresight allowed me to knock up Ms. Moseby 9 months ago, knowing there wouldn't be anything to write about anyway aside from the birth of the Barber's assistant on Saturday morning.
Now that I am a dad, my entire world view has changed. My days of mancrushes are over, as I no longer see baseball players as five tool studs or original characters. I see a toxic concoction of Ed Hardy, chlamydia, and road beef. Even you Rocco, stay the hell away from my kid!
