Friday, February 19, 2010

Burn the Book or Turn the Page

Stop smiling, you aren't making this any easier!As stated many times before, both here and around the greater blogoverse, hating on Cito Gaston is a difficult proposition. So many of the memories are so positive, his kindly black dad aura remains quite difficult to hate. With Spring Training opening, he's going to start saying some typically wacky shit, so we need to be ready. We must arm ourselves against his wily charms.

Without spending any time around The Man(ager), we aren't privy to his mood swings or grudges, his distance from the team and associates, or any of the other negative shit that floats around but refuses to stick to Cito. What is a die-hard armchair GM left to do? Change the angle. Tear down the brand. Start again. Lose the moniker.

Cito is a pretty sweet name, but it isn't The Manager's birth name. His real name is Clarence, and that's how we're going to refer to him from now on. Clarence Gaston means nothing to you, he sounds like the could even be your slightly rude co-worker from Quebec. You'd have no problem second guessing Clarence Gaston. I sure as shit hope Clarence Gaston gets run out of town on a rail. Beat it Clarence, Cito doesn't live here any more.

It might be just that simple. If, in all of our collective armchair GM minds, Clarence botches the development of any of the precious young talent; putting a new face to the name might get us over the hump. It won't be easy, I'm having a hard time even finishing this post. But it is necessary. Riding into the sunset during a lost season isn't a fate befitting a manager of his supposed stature. Might as well grease the wheels of acrimony while we still can.

Daylife stole it from Reuters and I stole if from them


  1. Ha! kindly black dad aura, that is funny. Baseball's Bill Cosby, or Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon. As long as you aren't named Accardo anyway.

  2. Nice to see Clarence not bothering to show up early to camp.

    Not like there are any new faces to 'get to know' or anything. He still hasn't figured out who Casey Janssen is fer chrissakes.

  3. I can't do it. I can't call him "Clarence." He'll always be Cito to me. It's "The Cito Effect." Definitely not "The Clarence Effect."

    We'll miss the wacky shit that comes out of his mouth when he's gone.


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