The True Victim of an Unbalanced Schedule

As Blue Jays fans, we're used to getting a raw deal from the unbalanced schedule. Beyond the fact that "our" team is 7 games over .500 against the rest of the league but 20 games under in the home division and so on and so forth, we getting robbed in a different way. Simply: not enough games against Detroit.

Playing the Tigers is great fun. The closest team geographically, an old rival of many battles and shared fans, a team with a great ballpark and nice uniforms. While I appreciate the tradition of pitting the Jays against the Tigers at the season's outset, it also means only one more series all year long. That blows.

As a collective, I'm sure we can muster up the support for the Jays and Major League Baseball to eschew one meaningless interleague series in favor an extra Tigers tilt. I can't help but think there's more revenue in it for all involved parties. If a return to a fair and balanced schedule were to surface, I'd gladly take an empty series in Kansas City or two in exchange for another trip to Comerica.

Irony Alert

The Jays close out the season series against the Tigers tonight with David Purcey making his first big league start since April. Despite what I've stated above, and despite David Purcey making a scant 17 big league starts; tonight's will be his FOURTH against the Tigers. That makes less sense than most things. Even more bizarrely, he's kind of owned the power hitting and right hand-heavy Tigers. Only 9 hits allowed in 17 innings (what? 13 walks. Hush your mouth.) While most seem to have completely written Purcey off, I'm excited to see what he can do. Big dudes with live arms will get more than their fair share of chances, hopefully Sweaty Dave can make the most of this one.

Detroit Rock City

The Detroit Tigers are 4-10 after a blow out victory tonight still sitting last in the AL Central. Many people (including me) believed the Tigers would take the Central. Perhaps not with ease, as Cleveland didn't get any worse, but would probably come out on top in the end. On paper, it would appear they had all the tools to get it done. I know it's early, and they have plenty of time to turn the ship around and runaway with it, however I'm no longer convinced. Here's why:

Aside from Justing Verlander, who's off to a shaky start, they're starting pitching is poor at best. Dontrelle Willis just isn't what he was and isn't going to be again either, Jeremy Bonderman is a sub .500 career pitcher with an era approaching five. Nate Robertson is shockingly the EXACT SAME, and Kenny Rogers is just fucking old. That isn't a recipe for success if you ask me.

With no Zumaya, a 100 year old closer (who's actually been decent in 08) and a suspect pen at best, there aren't a whole lot of guys on the staff that are very good at getting opposing players out. Pitchers need to be able to do that shit in order to have some success.

Gary Sheffield is old and busted. Ivan Rodriguez is....on his way to becoming old and busted. Brandon Inge has had one good season, but so did Erik Hinske. Polonco should be better than he is right now, who the fuck knows if he'll turn it around, though he is capable. Cabrera, Ordonez, Renteria & Guillen are all solid and should have decent seasons. Which leaves you with rookie Clete Thomas who looks good so far, but is a rookie after all.

So is this enough to get these guys to the promise land? It hasn't looked like it so far, and on paper you'd think it is. But the more I think about it, the more I'm of the opinion it's just a lot of smoke and mirrors down in Motown. I could be wrong, and I'm sure I will be, that's just how I see it.

Ghostrunning with the Devil - Season Preview - AL Central

A simple equation for season preview success:

Uninformed pontificator + hackneyed gimmick - accountability = I'M A GENIUS!

Our gimmick of choice will find us pairing each team with a band/artist from the same area code. The connections will be tenuous at best and derived from my completely arbitrary criteria. Teams are arranged by predicted order of finish, based on nothing approximating math, science or logic.

Up now, the toughest division in baseball - the AL Central.

	Detroit Tigers - Walls of Jericho
	This team figures to bludgeon all that oppose them, leaving a trail of broken and bloodied bodies in their cruel wake. They also lead the league in fat guys. Miguel Cabrera could be among league leaders in slugging, RBI and appearances at Krispy Kreme. Walls of Jericho write comically heavy and entertaining mosh exercises. They too will beat you into a bloody daze, but the main bludgeoner is a lot better looking than Jim Leyland.
	Cleveland Indians - Ringworm
	More punishing offense, more punishing hardcore played and preferred by fat guys. This team will score many runs, but won't get nearly as many people out as Detroit. Can Carmona repeat last season's success? More importantly, who has the best nickname in Cleveland? Is it Pronk or the Human Furnace? I'm pretty sure Human Furnace is as badass a nickname as exists in the world.
	Chicago White Sox - Lupe Fiasco
	No one in Chicago gives a shit about the White Sox, or their World Series win. Steve Perry is the only one to benefit from that season. They play in a boring ballpark in a brutal neighbourhood. They have a solid team that, while improved by the addition of Nick Swisher and Orlando Cabrera, is rapidly aging and will likely lack the pitching to compete in this robust division. The Cool is an outstanding achievement of a second record. Sadly, Lupe will never turn as many heads as Kayne West.
	Kansas City Royals - The Get Up Kids
	I was all ready to pan the Royals, make a few jokes about decades of ineptitude and then be on my way. Except that this Royals team won't be dreadful, and are in a very similar position to Tampa Bay, minus the sexy pick status. They are still a couple years away, but they seem to be building something. Spare the bastards that sit here all summer your pity. The Get Up Kids changed popular music whether you want to admit it or not. They are one of the only bands I know of from Kansas City. They have "kids" in their name. The Royals are young. Leave me alone.
	Minnesota Twins - The Replacements
	Prepare yourself, cause here we go with a whole boatload of hackneyed shtick!
	How will the Twins "replace" Johan Santana? How will Nelson Fransico Liriano's recently "replaced" ligament respond after missing an entire year? Will Delmon Young be able to "replace" Torii Hunter's Gold Glove defense and contract year offense? Can I resist "replacing" that Delmon Young question with one referencing Bastards of Young? Will Livan Hernandez's warm up jacket be "replaced" by Metrodome Hefty Bags? Can blogger extrodinaire Pat Neshak "replace" Joe Nathan as the Twins' closer when Nathan gets traded at the deadline? Can you "replace" the minutes of your life you spent reading this? No.

The Tigers are a class team, though bullpen questions could dog them if Todd "The Mustache" Jones succumbs to age and returns to his gold plot. None of these teams appear to be truly awful, something you can't say about most other divisions. The Jays rotation seems to match up well against these teams, provided they learn how to win on the road.

Next week: the Al East. Which band would you like to see represent the Jays?