Friday Bunchostuff

It seems that I forgot a superduper shitballer the other day. Matt Clement is the latest refuse pile project. His ceiling? Paul Byrd??? His basement? Josh Towers. How much touch will a control guy with meh stuff have two years removed from getting shelled in the AL East? His minor league deal is completely non-threatening, and JP is due to have one of these break his way. Godspeed, chinpubes.

There are plenty rumours kicking around; the Barretts, the Furcals and the other assorted shitballers. The one that really gets my attention is Ty Wigginton. The wrong kind of attention that is. The offseason hand-wringing is getting to be a bit much to take, with fans ready to trade anyone and everyone. Anyone ready to ship out Scott Rolen in favour of a Jose Bautista/Ty Wigginton platoon can kindly fuck right off. A run saved is nearly equal to a run scored, the Hardball times says. I can't see Ty Wigginton continuing his 18.5% Home Run per Flyball rate outside of Enron Field. Add his "never-above-zero" Ultimate Zone Rating/150 games at third and it doesn't sound like he's saving any runs,either. So fuck him, and fuck you for considering him. Leave my Rolen alone.

Good and Quick

• You may now be familiar with the Ballad of Rinku and Dinesh. The two Indian cricketers won a contest, trained in the US and have been signed by the Pittsburgh Pirates. Kris @ Walkoff Walk has been all over this story since the early days of the Million Dollar Arm blog, and recently got some closure on this now-huge story through an interview with the two phenoms. My boys haven't received enough credit for groundflooring this story, so check the interview out and then sign up to be a commenter at Walkoff Walk. Good times are guaranteed!
• Someone decided there was too much joy in the world and adapted Cormac McCarthy's The Road for the screen! And they got Viggo Mortensen to star! It looks truly, soul-crushingly depressing! I could not be more excited. Actually, I could be and in fact I am. World War Z - the Movie. Don't fuck this up, guy that fucked up Daniel Craig's James Bond.
• The Matt Joyce for Edwin Jackson fleecing has created possibly the best defensive outfield in baseball. The new-look Mariners outfield will be good too, but anywhere near this good. I remember really liking what I saw from Joyce the few times I saw him this year. If someone in Detroit can turn Edwin Jackson into A.J. Burnett, consider that man a genius.
• I've been wanting to mention this for nearly a month now, but the Free Darko book is simply incredible. I had high hopes and the Macrophenomenal Guide completely blew me away. If you care AT ALL about basketball you will rush out and grab it. If you like the Raptors, you may not understand what you read because they are simply the ugliest, most boring team on the planet. And they suck, too. Jose Calderon is the best back-up point guard in the NBA. There, I said it.
• The always underrated Tao has been killing it all month long. The Tao was the first Jays blog I ever came across, and I'm sure glad that I did. There would be no Ghostrunner on First without the Tao, and that would certainly make me quite unhappy. So thanks Tao, you're an inspiration to us all.

My bebcation is nearly over, which sucks terribly. At least going back to work will allow me some more company time to update this dick joke party. C'mon Brad Penny, do what feels right.

The video is of Barrit, who were twice as awesome as Michael Barrett and three times as badass. Screaming so loud that you can hear it over the music without a mic? Where do I sign? RIP Steve Neal.