Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Good for What Ails Ya

Would you look at that? The Mariners are in town, with their too-clever-by-a-half GM licking his wounds as this team of his creation engineers one of the worst offensive seasons in the modern era. The Mariners are spectacularly awful at the plate, hitting fewer home runs than Jose Bautista hits no-doubters.

The defense and pitching are still strong but this team does less than nothing at the plate. What a great way to imbue a young crew of starters with some late-season confidence.

The Mariners never walk (a Blue Jays-esque 7.8%!) so even struggling Marc Rzepcyznski might put together a decent outing. The M's are middle of the pack in terms of swinging strikes so we can't expect Drabukkah to become a Strasmas-esque Passover celebration. The Mariners are so popless that even tater tot enabler Shaun Marcum could face them and escape relatively unscathed (though he's too busy popping off to worry about the lack of people popping out.)

Though my great appreciation for all things Mariner is pure, this is a great chance for The Manager to cut the apron strings and let the kids out against a lackluster opponent. That said, the businessperson's special against King Felix seems like a great day for Aaron Ciba to pull up a slice of bench beside The Manager.

God only knows the amount of knowledge Clarence can share with his young charge, even if most of it is via osmosis.


  1. Who could've foreseen that the Mariners were going to be THIS bad in 2010? I thought they would make a run at the AL West, but I obviously mistook activity for achievement.


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