Thursday, July 7, 2011

Teeny Tiny Doses of Context

Coming into tonight, the Jays bullpen ranked 10th in baseball for xFIP with the ninth most shutdowns, the eighth fewest meltdowns, the ninth best strikeout to walk ratio and the eighth best shutdown-to-meltdown ratio. They haven't been that bad, at all.

None of which means a damn thing when Frank Francisco cannot record a single out and poor Luiz Perez is left to face the Zombie Pronk while Rzepcynski eats cold cuts and cubes of cheese in the clubhouse.

I defended you, Frank Francisco! And you stabbed me in the back. You're officially dead to me. I would start a "Rzepczynski for Closer" movement but I don't think his poor left arm survives the season in that role.

The answer is obvious. The answer isn't pretty. The answer is the Sausage King of the Bullpen. Again.

I'm already working on a buddy film about Jason Frasor and John McDonald touring the continent, stealing jobs from overpaid and underperforming scumbags. It will be great, like Up in the Air but the opposite. Clooney as Johnny Mac? Sold.


  1. Clooney isn't handsome enough to play Johnny Mac.

  2. Luke Wilson as JFray? If you squint and turn your head sideways you can kinda see it.

  3. I would camp out to see the premiere of that film.

  4. Sausage King forever. Most appearances all-time!!!1

  5. Obviously Mathew Broderick plays Frasor. #SausageKing

  6. It is always amazing to me how afraid teams who are not in the playoff hunt at all are sooo afraid to do a bullpen by committee.

    The jays are a perfect example. None of those guys is head and shoulders over anyone else. The jays are not near a playoff spot. Yet, a few decent weeks from fransisco, and he has earned the CCCCCCCCloser role without question.

    My hope is that farrell is treating this as a "let's see what the fuck happens if i do this" year. Hopefully the next couple years we will see a lot more tempered and thought out strategy.

  7. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks Frasor is the obvious answer although that still won't make me like Screamo.

  8. Lumping Envy in with a bunch of androgynous teens in girl jeans gives me the sads.

  9. The answer lies within young Jedi. Chad Beck is 26 with a plus fastball and slider and without a change or curve stands no chance at cracking this starting rotation. Why oh why can't this organization go down and get a guy like him and try him out in the MLB pen gradually giving him higher leverage situations.
    Papelbon and for Jays historians : Henke and Ward were starters with plus hard stuff and without a 3rd pitch. So what did the Jays do? Maximized on them by putting them in the pen. We need to do this again.


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