Presidential Primaries

When the news that Paul Godfrey was stepping down as Blue Jays president hit, my first thought was "Who fucking cares?" As far as I'm concerned, or as far as I care to concern myself, that has zero impact on the on-field action. The actions of a glad-handing businessman mean nothing to me; most "my wife dresses me in this blue shirt and blue pants" salarymen represent everything I dislike about the world. If you remove the Business section from the newspaper and throw the rest away, I want nothing to do with you. I care more for the hot corner than the corner office; so I do my best to avoid the business side of a corporation with an interest in baseball.

Until today.

Doing my quarterly dance over the phone with the delightful young woman charged with shaking me down for my monthly Rogers bill, I came to resent having to deal with such incompetence. Forcing me to fork over my slightly-earned money for the goods and services I use; the nerve of these people. My hatred for Rogers and their knee-breaking practices got me thinking about the direction the Jays and RCI are headed. I decided that Rogers should hire the sleaziest, crookedest, shadiest money manager they could find.

Any one out of this collection of swine will do. Pump up the share price, inject millions (billions!) of false revenue into the Rogers system. Raise the Jays payroll to the stratosphere with the new-found cash, allowing them to buy a World Series title. Suddenly, a brave soul from deep inside will blow the whistle and Rogers will be ruined! It is a plan fiendish in its intricacies, but everyone wins in the end. Jays get title, fans get party, Rogers gets comeuppance.

Then, when the team is in shambles and needs a strong, clear voice to lead them out of the wilderness; who would step in? None other than the Mighty Tao. He already announced his candidacy! I'm sold. Tao in 2012!

As Trade Deadline Passes, Jays Lament Inability to Move 2008 Season

Despite numerous deals being rumored and many others going through, Jays GM JP Riccardi was unable to find a buyer for the Jays 2008 season. The Jays are on pace to be a .500 ball club, but JP was still unable to find a team that would trade seasons, even among teams with much worse records. Pirates GM Neal Huntington said he while would appreciate the increase in wins, falling short of the most conservative of expectations each year just isn't worth it. Said Huntington: "I've got a good thing going here. We're in a constant rebuilding phase, so I'm never really expected to win. The Jays? They pay lip service each year, but do they really think they'll compete again?" Riccardi said he would have appreciated infusing 80 runs of offense to improve the outlook on the season: "I thought if we could install a team with a strong offense, then point to our strong pitching in the first half, I could convince people that we actually had a well-rounded ball club."

Padres GM Kevin Towers stated that while swapping his team's run differential of -110 for the Jays +32 would be nice, he couldn't reconcile it with ownership. "We don't want to bring that sense of hopelessness to our front office, it would further alienate our fans." Even controversial Astros GM Ed Wade wouldn't go near the 2008 Jays. "Look, I've got no scruples whatsoever. I'll bring in a Mitchell Report star that lies about his age, I'll sign Roger Clemens when he's 60. But acquiring this year's Jays? No thanks. You can keep your handful of wins, I like my sanity just fine."

When alerted that his GM was unable to unload this season moments after divisional foe Boston acquired Canadian Jason Bay, Jays CEO Paul Godfrey was overheard mumbling something about "motherfucking Beantown scumbag" and "bigger fish to fry..N-F-L motherfucker" before storming out of his office with a bottle of Scotch.

Where do you start?

John Gibbons? Probably not. Sure the Jays are playing like complete garbage and deserve to be ten and a half games behind Boston at the bottom of the American League East. They are indeed better than this as Lloyd has already indicated. It's been suggested and I tend to agree that the lack of offensive production can't be solely blamed on the Manager. Could he be doing something differently? It's easy to say yes, but when you think about it, I'm not sure he could.

J.P. Riccardi? Maybe. Hard to believe it's been six and a half years since Riccardi took over for Gord Ash November 14th, 2001. One of his first deals was to send Billy Koch over to his former team for Eric Hinske and Justin Miller. This wouldn't be the last time we saw J.P. swing deals with the Athletics. I remember the enthusiasm when he took over, but it has since waned after 7 seasons without a post-season appearance. I'm not sure you can blame Riccardi entirely either, as he has made moves that appeared solid but haven't really worked out.

The Burnett signing, although horseshit now, seemed to have potential upside. Lyle Overbay is better than his performance would indicate. Bengie Molina was a Gold Glove catcher, didn't work out. As much as he's tried to improve the team with deals & signings, he's failure to retain Jay talent and acquire players have cost the team. He failed to hang onto Ted Lilly and sign Gil Meche, so went with discount options Toma Ohka, John Thompson and Victor Zambrano. We all know how that worked out. The Frank Thomas signing...think what you want, but it was never a good deal no matter what anyone says. His five year plan, his interfering/input into lineup decisions...I could go on, but people will draw their own conclusions. How much can you really trust a guy who when ask about why he hid the true extent of the B.J. Ryan injury in 2007 responded, "They're not lies if we know the truth."

Paul Godfrey? I sure the fuck would. Paul Godfrey is a clown. Many may not remember, but when he was publisher and CEO of the Toronto Sun from 1984-1991 he stood up in front of the city and stated that the construction of the Skydome would not nor would it ever cost Toronto tax payers and money. A billion dollars later... He played an instrumental part in getting Art Eggleton and Mel Lastman elected Mayors of the big smoke. Eventually he CEO and president of the Jays, God knows why. I often wonder if he even has a clue what he's doing. Frankly, I'm quite sure he doesn't. From selling tickets to visiting fans to lying to the commissioner of baseball about being a Toronto city councilor it's clear to me that his reign needs to end now if not, soon. Don't even get me started on this NFL bullshit.

Does something need to change? Again, maybe? One this is true. The Jays are 35-39 on the season after a horrible loss today and are losing ground. The MLB season is a long one, and there is time left to right the ship, but if it doesn't start soon, it's going to be a seventh season without a post-season appearance. No one said getting to the post-season was supposed to be easy, but it might be time to give someone else a chance to take a shot at it. It couldn't hurt.