Anytime you can go into Baltimore and sweep the O's, you have a reason to celebrate. Like the rising of the Earth's yellow sun, the Orioles go out and lose themselves a ballgame nearly every day.
It isn't by accident either, the Orioles lose in ways you cannot really fathom. Consider Saturday's game, the sight of the now infamous spat between Clarence and closer Kevin Gregg. Obviously Gregg didn't have his best stuff, having loaded the bases with a mere one run lead. One integral part of that half inning that, against nearly any other team, could have changed the face of that entire ball game.
Gregg enters the game and proceeds to make All star whipping boy Ty Wigginton look downright foolish. Then it all changes. Gregg accomplishes the Herculean task of walking Adam Jones. Jones' lack of plate discipline is a bit of a bone of contention among the astute Orioles blogosphere. Jones has 11 total walks in nearly 400 plate appearances this year, good for a Cito-approved 2.9% walk rate. Warning sign number one that Gregg just ain't right, though their battle was a long one. Let's give credit to Jones here, just to be pricks.
Gregg then walks Felix Pie, not quite as unlikely as Jones but something that still takes effort. Real, concerted, shitty effort. Now Gregg is on the ropes, two walks to two so-so offensive players meaning the winning run now stands on first base with one out. In steps Scott Moore, a quad-A tweener who is most certainly not Brian Roberts, nor will he ever be.
With a struggling closer on the mound and the winning run on first base, what does mighty Scott Moore — he of 13 career extra base hits — opt to do? Swing at the first pitch he sees. Moore swings at the first pitch and meekly flew out to left field. One more important thing to note: this was Scott Moore: PINCH HITTER. Pinch hitting, cold off the bench, swung at the first pitch. Amazing.
Somewhat shockingly, Scott Moore got the start on Sunday, walking once while shouldering the scorn of his teammates, if they had any brains whatsoever. Sadly for Nick "Roccopoulos" Markakis, the Orioles have none brains. None. He is the tallest midget and it is a damn shame.
Blue Jays fans should take Moore's gift and remember that the Jays won on Saturday. The Orioles did not. They lost. They started Jeremy Guthrie this weekend and guess what? He gave up a home run. It has been written, he's the worst starter in the American League. For this, and for the arrival of Yunel Escobar, let us all be thankful.
AP photo courtesy of Daylife.