Monday, January 12, 2009

Obligitory Hall of Fame Post

The prospect of another round of bloggy bloviating over the substandard HoF selection process bores me just a little. The BBRAA has proven to be nearly identical to the comments section of the very papers they write for: if you throw the net out wide enough, you're bound to catch a few mutated/inbred fish that could sour you on the entire idea of seafood. I can't muster too much indignation over Jim Rice's selection, but Tim Raines missing out is really a shame. I'll let Walkoff Walk commenter Dr. Lingerie perfectly sum up Rock's qualifications:
Purchase some blow from a gentleman who trades in such wares. DO ALL OF IT. Now, in spite of your brain's inability to focus for more than two seconds, the excruciating tingling restlessness in each and every extremity, the bone-dry Saharan just-ate-a-urinal-cake sensation in the back of your throat, and the blood in your mouth from unwittingly chewing a considerable hunk of your own cheek off, go hit against major league pitching purposefully and selectively until you are able to coax a walk.

Repeat 1,329 times and also knock out 2,605 hits so that only 40 men in the history of ever have gotten on base more times than you have.

Congratulations, 22.7% of retardeds comprehend how awesome you are.
I don't have any experience with White Girl's Gasoline, so I can't say for sure if this brilliant paragraph describes Tim Raines's achievements accurately, but it sure makes a hell of a case and a hell of a weekend.


  1. What made Jim Rice a fucking hall of famer his fifteenth time that was missing in the previous 14 ballots.

    The whole thing is completely fucked.

  2. Baseball's HOF is still much better than the other halls, though. Hockey is the worst, I'd say. Tiger Williams?

  3. That was some brilliant shit from Dr. Lingerie.

    Here's hoping Raines gets his due, one day.

  4. The difference between this blog post and every other boring, predictable "HOF/BBWAA sucks" blog post out there is the picture. Well done.

  5. That and the step-by-step cocaine users manual.


Send forth the witticisms from on high