Disappointment for Young & Old

Hey, Michael Young! I remember you spilling gallons of milk on your way out of town. Jays fans have spent a good 10 years crying over all that high quality wooyoo. But now, having been asked to move your immobile ass out of Elvis Andrus's way, you want out of Texas! For one, you should have begged out of Texas years ago for reasons too numerous to list, but your refusal to be a "team player" should stoke the fires of Blue Jays fans on the lookout for the next player who's name they don't have to bother learning.

Young's Overbay-esque 2008 (poor performance blamed on hand injury) has brought his value below zero. He just received a huge raise, despite being a sub-standard shortstop accompanied by offensive production in sharp decline. So please, Blue Jays fans, don't insist that JP could trade him for Jason Frasor and is incompetent for not doing so. Nobody is going near this guy for anything more than a song, and for good reason.

Somewhat Exciting Site News!

Hard to believe that it was one full year ago that today we chained the first monkey to the first stolen laptop with dreams of one day compiling the perfect listicle and/or adding sweet nuance to our particular brand of slander. Many things have changed along the way, and hopefully things will keep changing for the better (fingers crossed for fewer than 3 tenses per post in 2009. We can be doing thems!)

In honor of this meaningless milestone; I've opted for two different synopses of our year. The first you see above, as told by Walter and the Dude. Below I've selected one post from each month which has stuck out in my memory.

Thanks for reading etc for the past year, here's hoping for at least a couple more!

• January! The Raul Mondesi Story. The foundations of scumbaggery were laid long ago.
  
• February! The Ridiculous Rocco Serendipity Story. When the TTC, Rocco, and fate collide.
  
• March! In which I express my disdain for hustling dirt dogs. I don't miss Reed, though he would have better than Mencherson.
  
• April! I got in on the ground floor WRT Somali pirates. They used GOOGLE MAPS to locate the hijacked oil tanker, yet it remains jacked.
  
• May! Jeff Spicoli named Blue Jays GM. A Ghostrunner scoop.
  
• June! An open letter to the Toronto Blue Jays baseball club. Watch for follow-up to this later this month.
  
• July! The dog days of liberated fandom. Please don't trade Roy Halladay.
  
• August! Questions from Girls. The first of a series...
  
• September! Going soft on the Yankees. It didn't last.
  
• October! Kicking over the Angels house of cards. They'd finish dead last in the AL East.
  
• November! I repeat: please don't trade Roy Halladay. Ever.
  
• December! The Yankee hate is back in full force. They actually just hate themselves.