"Staff writer" Chris Fell takes the teams of the Big Smoke to task, labeling them wretched, horrible, awful, and terrible. He predictably tears into the Leafs and Argos, as if cheering for those teams isn't punishment enough. He accuses the Raptors of underachieving. Sure, fair, whatever. That isn't a good basketball team, not even BC himself believes otherwise. But Fell's description of the Toronto Blue Jays that got my attention: embarrassment. He calls the Jays an embarrassment! What could his reasoning be? How could a downright respectable baseball team, one that faces tremendous odds each and every year, done to embarrass itself? By award-winning staff writer Chris Fell's criteria, they've committed the crime of not spending enough money. They've sat around and watched their divisional rivals throw money around and done nothing, despite being owned by a big rich company. FOR SHAME ROGERS. You've been pwn3d by the ghost of John Updike.
Embarrassment? Regrettable maybe, but embarrassing? I'm not sure what is more embarrassing: winning more games than you lose in baseball's best division, obviously stealing a column from a national columnist, or MISSPELLING THE NAME OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, ALSO KNOWN AS THE MOST FAMOUS MAN IN THE WORLD. Fucking clown. Back to the Simcoe County junior girls volleyball beat for you, jackass. I'm sure Jennifer Gomes from Bradford won't be upset if you get her name wrong.
BARACK (sic) OBAMA IS A WEST HAM FAN. HE CLOSED GITMO, LOVES THE EARTH AND SUPPORTS THE IRONS. HE'S DREAMY. I'm moving.