Brief Moment of Stylistic Outrage

I understand that David Dellucci used to hit home runs, but come on. His contact rates keep slip sliding away with age while his bad swings are up. In fact, the only time Dellucci did anything of substance were some very dubious years on the Texas Rangers. So let's call this what it is: a stab in the dark. Whatever, I guess left handed bats are good to have.

Which makes Mop Up Duty's post today all the more important. BRING UP BUCK DAMN COATS. He's doing PCL shaped things in Vegas, plays better defense than the existing carcasses and he's AWESOME. He's already amassed 17 steals!

Honestly, what's not to love about Buck Coats? FREE BUCK COATS!

Youth of Today

Tonight's game provided many reasons to stay positive, but let's remember a few things:

1. Baltimore is really, really bad.
2. Shaun Marcum got knocked around

I wasn't alone in predicting historical ineptitude for the O's. They hit home runs like crazy, but they might be the worst pitching staff ever. My Adam Lind boner is raging, but looking at the video of each of his hits reveals every pitch he hit missed by a mile. His three run home run? Awesome. The pitch? A hanging slider that was supposed to be down and away but ended up belt-high and in. On a tee, as the smart kids would say. He did a good job staying back on a breaking ball in the 2nd inning, but Tabler pointed out that Brian Roberts was caught cheating towards the hole only to have the ball beat him up the middle. But who fucking cares, the Jays obviously haven't been punishing mistakes all year long, so watching them do it for one night is certainly a good thing.

As for Marcum, it is hard to fault his lack of sharpness. While going 12 up and 12 down against the Rocco-less VB D-Rays is one thing; getting most of the Orioles out is another. While he didn't have his usual pin-point control, he didn't miss by much. Just enough that Professional Hitter Melvin Mora hit him hard most of the night.

More random Blue Jay thoughts

• Good to see Brandon League avoid the trip back to Syracuse. He looked pretty good (but certainly not pretty) in his last outing. Cito (I'm going to give Cito the credit here because Cito is a kindly man that looks something like a blacker version of my dad) has belief in League, and continues to slot him into medium leverage situations hoping he improves his command. Conversely, the round righty Brian Wolfe was send down to Syracuse to make space for Marcum.
• This whole "Mench thing" can end any time now. 6 of his 16 hits have been doubles, which isn't terrible, but he doesn't have a single home run or add anything to the team right now or down the road. With all the rain we've been getting in Toronto, I think we might need a Coat to keep us dry. Zing! So what if he's a taller, gawkier Brad Wilkerson? His name is Buckskin fucking Coats, what else do you want?
• Jeremy Guthrie has been tough on the Jays for his career, but he is exactly the kind of shitballer (though an eco-friendly shitballer) they need to beat up on if they want to reach Cito's new mythical figure of 10 games over .500.
• The new Hold Steady record is kinda, sorta, only okay. I like it, but it isn't the religious experience that Boys & Girls in America was. Someone should get me Wakestock tickets so I can see Hot Water Music.

The Weather is Improving

Sadly, we won't need our Coats for long. With encouraging reports coming from within the organization (note: this organization is notoriously full of shit, so we will take our daily recommended amount of salt here) regarding the health of Scott Rolen and BJ Ryan, one must conclude that Buckskin Coats' days with the big club are numbered. Which is a shame. He did well in spring training to win himself a job, but figures to be the odd man out once Scott Rolen is ready to end lives and crack skulls at the hot corner.

With the Blue Jays current left field core being charitably described as ancient; Buck Coats has been a pleasure to watch as the de-facto late inning defender. He's played in 5 of the Jays' 7 games so far, but with only 2 ABs to show for it. On Saturday, Dustin Pedroia laced a double to left centre, and Ol'Buck nicely played the carom and fired the ball in to the cutoff man. It took me a second to realize that it wasn't Rios in left, but Buck after all.

His hot spring had the blogosphere digging around the interwebs for skeletons in his closet, only to come up with evidence of him not hitting well at the big league level. Despite his defensive prowess, he isn't likely to derail the Adam Lind OPS Express on its way (back) to the bigs. There just isn't room on this roster for another no-bat gloveman. They've already got the best in the business in that department, maybe he can play left too.