Heart Pumps Kool-Aid

Moving your Opening Day starter and nominal ace takes a certain amount of guts. Doing it in consecutive years while remaining steadfast in building is damn near impossible. Alex Anthopoulos clearly has these guts to make these challenge trades and keep reaching for the Outer Chutlosphere of elite talents.

That's a good thing for a man in his position. Take this money quote from his interview with Jonah Keri for Getting Blanked (read every day, I post twice a week)

Because of the division we play in, the teams they put together, we need to get as much upside as we can. There’s a risk component involved, that’s part of it. But we’d rather shoot high and miss.

If we were in a different division, our strategy could probably be tweaked. But the win totals required to get into the playoffs in the AL East, they’re 95 and above. You can build a very good team, and we have...You certainly can get into the playoffs with 88 wins elsewhere. In this division, you need to be that much better.

I don't think anyone — after spending more than 30 seconds thinking about it — would disagree. That doesn't make it easy. For Anthopoulos and his team, sure. But for us, too.

This age of baseball enlightenment is a great thing but it comes with a price. How much has the average Aware Blue Jays fan invested in Travis Snider? How many hopes have we pined to his barrel chest? How long did the average Blue Jays fan spend talking themself into Shaun Marcum, Nominal Ace?

Like the Tao said on Twitter, we wanted the new regime to be bold. I don't think any of us new exactly what we were in for now that they are. It isn't that I'm attached to Shaun Marcum in any way. The "flu-like symptoms" thing got tiresome though I admire the considerable chip on his shoulder.

It should make for some entertaining interviews in the near future. Shaun Marcum strikes me as a guy who spends most of the day operating at or near "seething contempt."¹

But saying good bye to Shaun Marcum is one thing. Loading up a package for Zack Greinke might just be another. Greinke, Upton, any potential game-changer. Loading up a basket full of kids and making a run at it makes my blood run a little cold. It seems so soon! Are they ready?

Obviously the braintrust knows much better than I. Perhaps I like the safety and security of perpetual re-building? Spared from the rigors of contention and the tortures of pennant races; baseball fits my little life perfectly. Making plans, stopping life to suffer through 3.5 hours of potential agony? Yikes.

Call me a coward if you must, but my thick layer of ironic detachment didn't get there by accident. Worse than getting close and missing? Missing all together. Those of us who remember the 2006-2008-era Jays for what they are realize there's no glory in an honourable death.

¹ - I know he's saying All the Right Things now, but he's got some hate in him. Book it.

You'll never guess where the image came from. Dogs on Skateboards!

Think Along with Your Favorite Hurler

One of the highest compliments you hear of a control pitcher is his ability to "throw any pitch in any count." Said frequently of Shaun Marcum, it makes these masters of deception especially tough to hit. Think you'll sit fastball when you're ahead 2-1? Think again, clown.

That sounds like something we've all said. Doesn't mean it is the case. Following along the great work on the topic done by Royals Review and Baseball Analysts; I put my (newfound) pivot table proficiency to work and created these graphs, which track pitch usage by count. Ricky Romero and Shaun Marcum, at your service.


If you get ahead of Ricky Romero, you can put the curveball out of your mind, that much is clear. As always with Pitch F/X, you can argue or debate the pitch classifications but this makes a lot of sense. Interesting that Romero goes to his devastating change up more in 1-2 counts than 0-2 though the curveball rates stay about the same. What about Marcum?


I think Shaun Marcum's full count pitch selection is my favorite thing of today. What are you gonna get? NO CLUE! Shaun Marcum won't necessarily throw any pitch in any count, but he'll certainly keep you on your toes with the pay-off pitch.

As an added bonus, I took Shaun Marcum's numbers and split them by batter handedness. Behold the glory of The Danks Theory! (Click to enlarge.)

If you are a left-handed hitter, Shaun Marcum will throw you a change-up. This is something I now hold to be true. If you're a left-handed hitter facing Shaun Marcum with a full count, he's going to throw you a change up. Good luck convincing your brain of that as you stand in the batter's box.

It is that very indecision that makes Shaun Marcum effective. So effective that he might fetch a tidy haul in trade anchor this pitching staff again? I'm not quite sure.

Image courtesy of Boing Boing, Pitch F/X data courtesy of the wondrous Joe Lefkotwtiz.

Did the Danks Theory Solve Shaun Marcum?

Please excuse the exceedingly bloggy leading title, but I'm legitimately concerned that Overmanagin' Joe Maddon opened a window in Shaun Marcum's soul. The contents, like sweat stains on his hat, are disturbing and unsightly indeed.

The Danks Theory, for those that don't troll Rays blogs, is the practice of starting pitch-sided batters (right handers against a righty) to negate the impact of a pitcher's best out pitch, often a change up. After Dallas Braden fly ball and changed up a standard righty versus lefty Rays lineup; Joe Maddon threw down a 2006 Malbec and got crazy. He put together a lineup of lefties to face White Sox change up master John Danks, going as far as to instruct his switch hitters (the Rays are lousy with'em) to hit left against the southpaw. The results, both against Marcum and Danks, are impressive.

I realize that a) not many managers have the sack (or the wherewithal) to ignore the book and load up their lineup with out-pitch neutralizing maniacs. But Marcum's change is his out pitch, without it he looks pretty ordinary.

During my liveblog of that game, I argued over and again with a commenter who insisted Marcum doesn't throw hard enough, that his fastball and change aren't usually 10mph different, apparently a magical key to victory. This, obviously, is ludicrous.

Marcum's strength is his ability to throw just about any pitch in just about any count. Should the opposition take away one of those pitches —the one most likely to miss your bat—has to swing the advantage slightly towards the hitter, doesn't it? It at least goes a long way to even the odds. Remove the best pitch from any pitcher and you

Interleague Blows

Hardly an original statement, but I think the Jays are getting extra, superduper boned by the interleague gods this year. It is bad enough when the teams the Jays are "competing" against in their "push to the playoffs" play a completely different set of teams, but when the Jays draw the Ubaldo and the Rockies on the road while the Yankees host the god-forsaken Astros, something ain't right.

Cruel blows by the schedule maker are one thing, being victimized by circumstance is another. Not only did the Jays have to stride into Coors to face the hottest pitcher in baseball, they got to do it on a terrible night. The rain, the sleet, the whatever should've put an end to the game long before it began. Except the Jays don't play the Rockies again this year. The two teams play at opposite ends of the continent, so scheduling a make up date is pretty much impossible. Playing a double header the next day doesn't work because of the Fox fascist regime national blackout order.

So on the game went with a predictable result. The conditions were horseshit, the game only lasted six inning. It was terrible. If the Jays are hosting the Orioles, there is no way a single pitch is thrown Friday night. Let us band together and, if not end, then severely limit the amount of interleague forced upon the teams.

One road, one home series a year. That's it! The charade mustn't continue any longer. Especially since Tim Lincecum isn't scheduled to start in Toronto, making the entire Giants visit pointless. Man cannot live on Panda alone.

Hat tip to D-Rays Bay for the Danks Theory and some fancy-pants school of science for the image.

Imagination Running Wild

Imagine, just for a second, that Shaum Marcum makes it back this season. Some say the possibility exists. So imagine Marcum, sitting at home for a year, getting amped about playing baseball again. He works out, he runs, he focuses on conditioning and taking care of his expensive new body part.

So new/fit/hungry Shaun Marcum is ready for the stretch drive. (P!) Having worked diligently with the Jays staff and decides to ditch the curveball he doesn't throw often. He works on his mechanics to reduce strain on his arm, making his move to the plate a little free-er and easier.

So increased attention to fitness plus better mechanics equals a couple miles an hour on his fastball right? Maybe he starts throwing a little harder but his incredible change up stays just as deadly? Maybe he's now a speed changing force! Maybe he's the secret weapon during the race to the finish line!! Maybe I have a boner!

Don't rush Marcum, but don't drag your damn feet either.

Marcum goes down, Jays behind

Shaun Marcum looked completely out of sorts early tonight against the O's. Marcum, who usually has great command, struggled to get the ball over and was pulled from the game after walking Nick Markakis in the third If he's hurt, it will be the second time this season as he missed a month earlier with a wonky elbow. Personally, I'd shut him down from here on in. There's no reason to risk what is still a promising career.

The Jays, for whatever reason, can't seem to get anything going off rookie Chris Waters. I'm about 99% sure that even I could get a fucking hit off this clown. In fact I'd set the over under at 1.5 for number of hits I'd get in four at bats facing Waters. Going into the bottom of the seventh the Jays have managed a paltry three hits and four baserunners.

Now I remember why they will miss the post-season.

The Saturday Shit Show

Forty Four thousand plus watched the Jays demoralize the Wild Car-leading Red Sox on a humid Saturday afternoon at Rogers Centre. Vernon Wells is a fucking demon, looking for the first five hit game of his career while making Jason Bay hate coming to the plate. Wells tracked down everything Bay tried to put into play, while sending two out of play himself. Fuck you Murph. The Jays have 16 hits and 11 runs through seven and are looking to continue the madness into the eighth. There must be something in the water in Syracuse as Jesse Litsch has thrown 13 straight scoreless innings since his recall. Let's hope this outburst continues into tomorrow's affair.

In other news which may seem odd to some, Shaun Marcum was optioned to AAA Syracuse before today's game. The team hopes he can sort out the control issues he's been experiencing since coming off the DL. They feel he has time to sort it all out and still be a key part of any potential playoff push. John Parrish was recalled and will make Marcum's next scheduled start. I found this somewhat surprising, though anyone can see that he hasn't been as effective since coming off the DL...though he hasn't been awful.

In Beijing - South Korea blazes to the gold going UNDEFEATED for the entire Olympics. That's fucked up.

Youth of Today

Tonight's game provided many reasons to stay positive, but let's remember a few things:

1. Baltimore is really, really bad.
2. Shaun Marcum got knocked around

I wasn't alone in predicting historical ineptitude for the O's. They hit home runs like crazy, but they might be the worst pitching staff ever. My Adam Lind boner is raging, but looking at the video of each of his hits reveals every pitch he hit missed by a mile. His three run home run? Awesome. The pitch? A hanging slider that was supposed to be down and away but ended up belt-high and in. On a tee, as the smart kids would say. He did a good job staying back on a breaking ball in the 2nd inning, but Tabler pointed out that Brian Roberts was caught cheating towards the hole only to have the ball beat him up the middle. But who fucking cares, the Jays obviously haven't been punishing mistakes all year long, so watching them do it for one night is certainly a good thing.

As for Marcum, it is hard to fault his lack of sharpness. While going 12 up and 12 down against the Rocco-less VB D-Rays is one thing; getting most of the Orioles out is another. While he didn't have his usual pin-point control, he didn't miss by much. Just enough that Professional Hitter Melvin Mora hit him hard most of the night.

More random Blue Jay thoughts

• Good to see Brandon League avoid the trip back to Syracuse. He looked pretty good (but certainly not pretty) in his last outing. Cito (I'm going to give Cito the credit here because Cito is a kindly man that looks something like a blacker version of my dad) has belief in League, and continues to slot him into medium leverage situations hoping he improves his command. Conversely, the round righty Brian Wolfe was send down to Syracuse to make space for Marcum.
• This whole "Mench thing" can end any time now. 6 of his 16 hits have been doubles, which isn't terrible, but he doesn't have a single home run or add anything to the team right now or down the road. With all the rain we've been getting in Toronto, I think we might need a Coat to keep us dry. Zing! So what if he's a taller, gawkier Brad Wilkerson? His name is Buckskin fucking Coats, what else do you want?
• Jeremy Guthrie has been tough on the Jays for his career, but he is exactly the kind of shitballer (though an eco-friendly shitballer) they need to beat up on if they want to reach Cito's new mythical figure of 10 games over .500.
• The new Hold Steady record is kinda, sorta, only okay. I like it, but it isn't the religious experience that Boys & Girls in America was. Someone should get me Wakestock tickets so I can see Hot Water Music.

Talk about timing

In the midst of playing some pretty poor baseball the past few weeks, the bad news continued as Shaun Marcum has been placed on the 15 day DL.

The Jays are calling it an elbow strain after a visit with a specialist. Evidently Marcum had been receiving treatment however decided on the move after the discomfort continued. Marcum's 2.65 ERA is second in the American league and he's been one of the better stories for the team in 2008.

This made room for Adam Lind who was recalled. He's been great down in AAA but the exact opposite when playing with the big club. Let's hope he finally gets it right, though he really couldn't be much worse than the rest of the offense at this point.

Aaron Hill continues to be plagued by post-concussion symptoms which is expected to keep him away from the park for some time to come.

When shit is bad, it's just bad. At least it appears everything is okay with the Doc, because if it hadn't been they might has well of mailed it in.

And the villagers rejoice Jays DFA Kevin "oh THAT'S why he was unemployed" Mench and recall BRANDON LEAGUE. Holy shit. The future is now.

Chone Figgins activated

I am 100% sure the Angels did this just to give me the opportunity to shout "You suck Figgins!!"

Guerrero just hit his second dinger of the game. Will the real Shaun Marcum please stand up.

"You suck Figgins!!"

...and some days, it rains

Oh Bull Durham. No matter what, that movie never gets old.

The unstoppable Shaun Marcum took the mound today to show the Phillies why the whole of Toronto has a massive size man crush on the man. The rain came and delayed the game however, effectively ending Marcum's day after just an inning of work. He threw only 22 pitches and allowed a two run homer to Ryan Howard.

The game resumed when Shawn Camp took the hill in Marcum's place and threw three solid innings, allowing only one run. Lyle Overbay pinch hit in the fifth and went yard with a three run jack that at the time tied the game. Shannon Stewart has since doubled in a couple and the Jays go to bat in the seventh leading 6-4. A win today would bring the club back to the .500 mark as they continue to try and claw up the standings in the East.

Long rain delays can always mess up a team's lineup and force them to use more pitching then they'd like to. Case in point today, where Roy Halladay came out of the bullpen to finish off the sixth inning. Shit, I can't remember the last I saw Halladay come out of the pen to work. I'm sure it hasn't been as long as I think, nonetheless it's strange to see. I'd take the time to actually look it up, but someone else will before the day is done which means I don't have to.

Update - Hallaway came out and threw a scoreless 7th, what a great bullpen.

I'm Confused, What Does "W" Stand For?

Pity poor Jamey Carrol, he's still recovering from his run-in with a rumbling train.

Shaun Marcum - Consumer of Batting Orders and Superlatives

What is left to say? Each start is better than the last. He's bound to have a bad start soon, but he doesn't strike me as the type of pitcher to just have a terrible bed shitting. Perhaps some Towers-esque wildness in the strike zone? He changes speeds so well that even that seems avoidable.

Asdrubal Cabrera Shuns Other Infielders, Vowels

Asdrubal Cabrera joined Mickey Morandini and Troy Tulowitzki in the exclusive "Middle Infielders with Goofy Names" club. Another member of the unassisted triple play club was in attendance as well. Randy Velarde has been a confectioner at Progressive Field for the past 4 years. When reached for a comment, Velarde simply said "people don't tip when they are giving standing ovations. Sit down and feed my family, I beg of you."

Exciting and Dynamic Graph Makes Learning Fun

This site (via Shysterball) graphs a team's performance versus total salary. Interesting yet pointless. That is how we get down around here. The graph is updated daily so you can track the progress of...fuck it. So you can watch the pretty lines move. That is the only reason to update it daily. Oh no, my team's graph has an relatively large slope! The Tigers and Yankees are competing to see who's most mentioned in both economics and calculus classes.

Scoring Runs is Integral to Winning

As Wilner details, many squared-up balls ended up in leathery graves tonight. I just hope nothing panicky and hare-brained goes down in the name of shaking things up. Some misguided people have suggested "selling high" on a guy like Marcum with a "big bat" coming in return. Lunacy. Insanity. Overwhelmingly braindead retardedity.

The Blue Jays are not a fantasy team. The American Leauge is not a keeper league with the really, really high stakes. They are trying to run a business and win baseball games. IN THAT ORDER. Pitching is baseball's greatest commodity. Cheap pitching is what every team craves.

Look at Billy Beane. What did he trade Mark Mulder (effective pitcher due a big payday) for? CHEAP PITCHING. When that cheap pitching came of age, he flipped it for MORE CHEAP PITCHING. If you can't hit (like the Blue Jays) but you can pitch, you'll be in almost every game. The wins will come if you keep getting people out. If you can't pitch, you have no shot. None. Zero.

Awesomeness the World Over

Scott Rolen - As Good As We Expected, Except Better

The Scott Rolen bonerwagon picked up a few more members as the Manmountain hit an insurance home run, made a mind-bending play at third and generally did awesome stuff all day. Rance made the point that after his jack, the entire team seemed to relax, as though each guy realized he didn't have to do it all himself. I think they all realized that Scott Rolen is in fact Jesus, and will teach them to fish and lead them through to desert to Valhalla. Or something.

Shaun Marcum - Where is the ceiling?

Rance Mulliniks fell all over himself tonight offering effusive praise for Shaun Marcum's recent performance. He stated that while some pitchers may have better arms, nobody in the big leagues is a better "pitcher" than the shell-necklaced greaseball. It is hard to argue with the results.

Rick Ankiel to Resume Pitching, Requests Rubber Be Moved to Deep Center

He is an absolute animal. MLB's ironfisted approach to video prevents me from embedding it here, but you can see the freak of nature in action here. He also added a home run, giving him 6 on the year. More than any Blue Jay I will add for no real reason. Update - I cannot stress enough how great these throws are. I just watched them again, and I cannot believe the second throw occurred on our earth with its prevailing gravity.

Getaway Day - What the Starland Vocal Band was really singing about

Despite having the first inning or so preempted by Paul Maurice's scapegoating, Vin Scully came into my house and made my "sick" day much better. An 80 year old man calling a baseball game with NO COLOUR GUY! Simply amazing. He's been working for the Dodgers since 1950, when they were still in Brooklyn! 59 years is too long to live, let alone work for the same company. Wikipedia tells us that he makes in the neighbourhood of $3 million a year, which means that even if he wanted to, he couldn't afford to move back to Brooklyn. He still does an admirable job, and hopefully Jamie Campbell can steal something from his repertoire.

Brad Penny is gigantic, but took labouring to an entire new level this afternoon. I think David Wright is the loneliest guy in the league, for reasons that are my own. The guy that the Mets traded for Johna Santana hit for the cycle today. And that ain't not bad.

Fun with movies that were better when you were in high school

Chasing Amy is on in the background, a movie I thoroughly enjoyed in the halcyon days of my youth. Turns out, it sort of sucks! I say sort of sucks, because even back then, the second half was a dreadful bore of a love story. Sort of like Wedding Crashers, funny first act set pieces give way to mushy time wasting. A fun game to play when watching movies featuring actors who have gone on to much bigger things: "Who's had their teeth fixed?" The answer is "all of them".

All good things

Yes, I'm a nerd

Unfortunately, winning streaks inevitably end. Although A.J. Burnett struck out 10, he still let Eric Hinske get the better of him. Hinske led the Rays to a 5-4 win going 2-4 with a double and solo home run. These shocking and unsettling actions caused me to vomit and want to fight my television. The Jays weren't going to go undefeated in May or anything like that, but losing to the Rays with Hinske being one of the catalysts just pisses me off.

On the bright side, the Jays did manage 10 hits and the bullpen once again was solid with Brian Tallet and Shawn Camp combining for three scoreless innings in relief of Burnett. Shockingly, David Eckstein actually hit a ball OVER the head of B.J. Upton in centerfield cashing in a run. So what if Upton was basically standing just north of second base when the ball was hit? Eckstein was one of three, yes three Jays to play shortstop on this night. Unfortunately injuries to Eckstein and McDonald were the reason. McDonald needed to be carted off the turf after injuring his right leg in the sixth on a ball hit to his right while Eckstein had to leave the game with groin trouble in the fifth.

All winning streaks come to an end, and I'm sure Shaun Marcum and his 23 pitch arsenal will do all he can to start a new one.

NOTE - Chuck Swirsky announced he's leaving Toronto to become the radio play by play voice for the Chicago Bulls beginning next season. I could get all ignorant and rant about why this kicks ass in so many ways, but am quite positive you all share the same sentiment in that regard. If not, I don't give a shit as I'm tired of listening to him blather on cluelessly about almost everything as I drive home from work.

Extraneous Thoughts from The Ballpark

I think I'm running out of ways to describe the dominance of this pitching staff.

Mark Buehrle is a left handed homeless man's Roy Halladay
Not a homeless left handed man like Jesse Orosco, Arthur Rhodes or Mike Stanton, I mean he does a reasonable Roy Halladay impression. Works quick, throws strikes.

Orlando Cabrera is swarthy man's John McDonald
They each made jaw-dropping plays during the game. I'll give Johnny Mac the edge because I want to. Seeing him in the lineup made me all warm and tingly. Again, not that it means anything, but the Jays are now 4-1 when he starts at short. David Eckstein, though he didn't play, still managed to piss me off. At the end of the game as the Jays walked out to exchange pleasantries, the Weasel made a big production of HUSTLING TO BE FIRST IN THE HANDSHAKE LINE. I don't know why, but it made my want to rush the field and rain blows down upon him.

Shawn Marcum will throw you any pitch in any count
He just doesn't care. One thing I worry about is the whole "I was really sick" story that seems to appear every time he has a great outing. We already love you Stieb-lite, you don't have to force the issue.

Closer by Commitee - Heart attack on Demand
Me - Awesome, top of nine. Somebody make the scoreboard explode, it's Bo Junior o'clock. Oh wait, he pitched yesterday. Wait, who the fuck is that on the mound? Shawn Camp? Mother of god. Now they're bringing in Shutter Downs? Isn't his arm broken or something? Give me strength. I will concur with the Reverend and say that Jesse Carlson is straight-up boner fodder. In my mind he's becoming Andrew WK. Hey you, let's party. Carlson's going to have a party tonight.

The Rogers Center reminds me of a cemetery for librarians
No fanfare preceeded the top of the 9th. You'd think that this team leading a game in the late innings was commonplace. The Rogers Center was dead last night. The stupid wave appeared in a 2-0 game in the top of the eighth inning. I'm going to start a fire. Though the fat dudes who spent 8 innings yelling variations of "You suck Cox" to the Sox third base coach deserve some credit. No, they actually deserve public flogging. Hey fat people, stop being fat. It's gross.

Fun in Real Time (Saturday's Game from my desk at work)
Who knew? Another Jay start, another outstanding performance. Jesse Litsch used his phone to take a picture of his red rocket. He then sent that picture to David Purcey. You won't steal his job that easily Dave. Jays scored runs, even hit a home run. Alex Rios just stole third off of a very expensive reliever. Aaron Hill is the streakiest hitter on the team, and maybe in the world. BO JUNIOR! SLIPKNOT! FIRE! JIM THOME IS BIGGER THAN THE BATTERS BOX! Rehabbing BJ Ryan is officially a top-stepper. WINNING STREAK! QUALITY STARTS! SUPERLATIVES!