David Eckstein - Master Negotiator

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Another Quick Dispatch, Done Half-Assed in Honour of Working People Everywhere

Another bullet point post, as a couple news items popped up today.

• David Eckstein is now a Diamondback. I often referred to him as a weasel, which is similar to a mongoose. The mongoose is the natural enemy of the cobra, so this move will end badly. It has been written. Oh Davey, you shouldn't have been here in the first place. If you had to be here, if probably should have played sometimes. Either way, I'm sure his brief stay with the Jays will quickly fade from my memory.
• Roy Halladay is still awesome. He beat the Yankees four times this year, something that says a lot about him, and a little about the Yankees.
• Rocco went 3 for 3 yesterday, raising his OPS to 1.063. Make that paper Rocco.
• Lady Andrea of Bugs & Cranks and Ladies... fame enlisted my help for a Ladies piece she did about Mancrushes. Check it out, please don't mind my awful spelling.

I don't know about you, but three-day weekends are pretty much the best. Work blows. If only there was a Jay game to attend, I'd be that much happier. The fluky Twins come into town to start the week, then a Rocco weekend! An outing is in the works.

Grit Giveth; Grit Taketh Away

My immediate thought when Reed Johnson came to bat on Friday night was "aw gee, isn't that an nice sentiment." He scragritustled his way into Toronto's heart, and the loyal fans repaid him. My very next thought was "it is awesome that Reed Johnson is up in this situation because REED JOHNSON SUCKS." If Reed Johnson was worth keeping, he wouldn't have been quite so disposable in the spring. If he was a starting outfielder on a big league club, he would currently be a starting outfielder on a big league club. Were he the answer to the Cubs needs, they wouldn't have plucked a 40 year old Salt & Pepper outfield retread off the refuse pile.

Of course, during Saturday's game, Reed offered me an extra large helping of Blow Me Soup and provided the Cubs all the offense they would need behind Jason Marquis. Marquis, in the latest indictment of the Blue Jays offense, threw a stellar 7 innings of 4 hit ball. I would have loved to be within earshot of JP when the ball flew into the bullpen. If the first thing out of his mouth wasn't his ever present wad of gum, then the words "You've got to be fucking kidding me", I'd be shocked. Of course, Reed wouldn't have been provided that opportunity if David Eckstein hadn't done his best David Villa impersonation. It was either a David Villa impersonation, or the impersonation of a shortstop by a second baseman.

The Jays filled their scrap quotient with Li'l Davey, who I will begrudgingly admit (again) that he's been exactly as advertised. His is almost directly on all of his career numbers. So that means JP got this one right? Are people willing to concede this? I think I might be.

This club is flawed offensively. While Davey's defense may have cost his team the game yesterday, image how bad they'd be without his bat? My skin is trying to flee my body right now, repulsed by my brain's acceptance that Eckstein's presence on the team, while grotesque and incomprehensible to me, adds runs. Johnny Mac isn't going to rock an OPS+ of 94 even if you let him hit twice in a row. The true crime here is an OPS+ of 94 is still below average league average! I am quickly driving myself insane here. I can't even take solace in seeing Rainn Wilson on College Street last night. It was slightly odd to see him (with a security guard in tow) but I'm mostly disappointed that I didn't ask if he'd been party to any malfeasance.

How can we free Johnny Mac now?

BAH!

It's likely John McDonald is heading to the DL after suffering what is being called a "high ankle sprain" last night. I suppose you could call that a good thing given how bad the injury actually looked at the time. The timing of this injury is the worst as David Eckstein was sucking just about long enough to ensure Johnny Mac of some more playing time, especially in the field. Now with Eckstein hampered by a hip flexor, the Jays may called up Jorge Velandia or Pedro Lopez from Triple-A.

Cheers to David Chalk over at bugs and cranks for pointing out my incorrect preseason assessment of Eric Hinske. It saddens me to see him tear apart Jay pitching night after night, and I long for the day he returns to being horrendous. I'm sure that isn't too far down the road.

UPDATE - Stoeten over at DJF posted an update via Wilner at the Fan that if so, is the best thing I've heard tonight.

All good things

Yes, I'm a nerd

Unfortunately, winning streaks inevitably end. Although A.J. Burnett struck out 10, he still let Eric Hinske get the better of him. Hinske led the Rays to a 5-4 win going 2-4 with a double and solo home run. These shocking and unsettling actions caused me to vomit and want to fight my television. The Jays weren't going to go undefeated in May or anything like that, but losing to the Rays with Hinske being one of the catalysts just pisses me off.

On the bright side, the Jays did manage 10 hits and the bullpen once again was solid with Brian Tallet and Shawn Camp combining for three scoreless innings in relief of Burnett. Shockingly, David Eckstein actually hit a ball OVER the head of B.J. Upton in centerfield cashing in a run. So what if Upton was basically standing just north of second base when the ball was hit? Eckstein was one of three, yes three Jays to play shortstop on this night. Unfortunately injuries to Eckstein and McDonald were the reason. McDonald needed to be carted off the turf after injuring his right leg in the sixth on a ball hit to his right while Eckstein had to leave the game with groin trouble in the fifth.

All winning streaks come to an end, and I'm sure Shaun Marcum and his 23 pitch arsenal will do all he can to start a new one.

NOTE - Chuck Swirsky announced he's leaving Toronto to become the radio play by play voice for the Chicago Bulls beginning next season. I could get all ignorant and rant about why this kicks ass in so many ways, but am quite positive you all share the same sentiment in that regard. If not, I don't give a shit as I'm tired of listening to him blather on cluelessly about almost everything as I drive home from work.

Not to be denied

Roy Halladay wasn't going to go out and throw another gem and come away with the loss. I was pretty sure of that. David Eckstein did his best to try and saddle Roy with the loss. His brutal throw after an Orlando Cabrera grounder pulled Lyle Overbay off the bag at first and paved the way for a three run third for the Sox. We all know how that shit could have been avoided.

That was all the Sox could muster, and the Jays ran their winning streak to four behind the continued brilliance of their pitching staff. Jesse Carlson came in and continued to baffle opposing hitters, while Jeremy Accardo and Scott downs came in and shut the door in the ninth.

One more thing I'm sure of: the OPS express will get his bat going soon and make everyone finally shut the hell up about Reed Johnson. I will add, and am unhappy to do so, that Shannon Stewart has been a huge disappointment, but not all calculated moves always work out.

Golly Gee Fellas

Shucks guys, I sure wish I'd caught that ball. I tried and tried, but I just couldn't squeeze it. I know the kindly old man on the radio said the ump was in the way, but if only I'd hung in and ground out that inning ending double play.

And earlier in the game, I gave it all I had, but gosh darn it if my throw didn't make it anywhere close to first base. Maybe they made this diamond bigger here in Kansas City. Lol! Those waterfalls sure are swell though.

I'm really glad to have Scotty back beside me. He's as big as a house! I got so used to piggybacking his defense, I couldn't wait for him to get back. He'll protect me from the other boys' teasing as well. Always trying to rub my weird noggin for luck. AJ was picking on me the most, all month. He kept trying to kick me in the balls, saying I'd turn into 8 squirrels and run off into the forest. Last night, he wasn't teasing though. He just kept staring at me, mouthing the words sock-chucker. He must mean my bad throw in the seventh. I can't say that I blame him. It was pretty pathetic.

Everybody in Toronto really seems to like Mr. McDonald. He's okay, I guess. He spends a lot of time in a rocking chair in front of his locker, staring out at the field. The other day I saw him sharpening a knife with a strange smirk on his face. I wonder what that means? He kept saying "almost time to go to work, almost time to go to work."

I just need to keep on swinging the bat like I can, and everything will be alright in the end. What's that skip? You want to see me in your office? Sure thing, Skip!

Ceteris Paribus

The Reverend is officially ass busy with the onset of spring and foolish retired people at his club. I however will try and get posts in, though they could be sparse over the next couple of weeks.

Shaun Marcum getting off to this start doesn't surprise me one bit. If you watched enough of him last year, it was clear he had command, the ability to locate along with decent stuff. Last time I checked, that shit wins you games.

As for Eckstein, Wilner does indeed have it right. However he's not pointing out anything that I would hope most Jays fans realize. Take one look down their lineup. It's fairly evident Eckstein isn't one of the better hitters. I would hope there isn't anyone out there thinking otherwise to begin with. There are two things that are indeed true. John McDonald can't fucking hit either and David Eckstein is in fact a better hitter than he is, the numbers don't lie. In no way am I taking anything away from McDonald, who has shown he can play a ridiculous shortstop. I wouldn't have Eckstein batting leadoff either.

If the Jays play as they have been, good things will come.

Alex Rodriguez hit a dinger tonight that had some importance as if I, or anyone really, gives a fuck. The Yanks were up 7-3 going into the top of the 5th and, oops,
gave up 6 runs. Clowns.

UPDATE - Evidently neither of these idiot teams feel like trying tonight as it's
11-9 Yankees after five. Way to play guys.

Fuck everyone, I'm golfing tomorrow.

Doyle Brunson

Some reflections on today's game, a sound drubbing of an over-traveled Red Sox team. I was decidedly more sober attentive today and enjoyed the on-field product that much more.

• As much as I hate to admit it, David Eckstein was a factor today. He still hasn't hit a ball hard all season, but his little excuse me single to right landed him two RBIs. I will begrudgingly admit that his hustle induced Julio Lugo's bad throw and deprived Sean Casey the time to apply the tag. Still, fuck David Eckstein. He was thrown out trying to steal by about 10 feet in the first.
  
• Clay Bucholtz is for real. Despite his rough spring, he looked pretty good today. He appeared to exclusively throw offspeed pitches, even in fastball counts. The Jays seemed legitimately worried about scoring runs, bringing the infield in with the game tied in the fourth.
  
• There were waayyy more Red Sox fans in attendance today. During an in-game video, one of the dedicated/knowledgeable traveling fans referred to the Jays as "the Toronto team". Right. Red Sox Nation is more like a fun club to join, baseball is obviously secondary.
  
• Lyle Overbay is bound and determined to make me love him. He's raking, it's great.
  
• A Buck Coats sighting almost made up for the lack of Johnny Mac and Brandon League the last two days. Almost. Free Johnny Mac.
  
• I drank a lot last night. Like, a lot. Today wasn't fun, and no amount of Bud Light (ugh) could salvage it.

Josh Beckett makes his first start of the year tomorrow. I wonder if he's shed his glorious winter weight yet?

Agree to Disagree

Gosh guys, I'm real sorry I keep getting out against the Yankees. I try and try and try, but the darn ball won't go out of the infield.

I know it looks bad now, but you better believe I'll keep going up and taking my hacks. All my career, people have told me I'm not good enough. Even now, when it is abundantly clear that they're right, I'll still give 110% every night. That may only add up to 80% of a real big leaguer, but at least I'm doing my best.

Yessireebob, I'll take my cuts, I may only hit a dribbler that barely makes the pitcher, but golly gee, I'll sure run my tukas off to firstbase. You know why? Because you just never know what might happen. Every time I ground into a double play, I think back to the words of Joe DiMaggio "There is always some kid who may be seeing me for the first or last time, I owe him my best." I too, owe those kids MY best, even though most of the kids are saying "Daddy, why is the ballboy playing shortstop" or "Dad, that player looks like the kid from my class with mittens pinned to his coat in July".

I know I'm no Joe DiMaggio, and once a kid actually cried when I showed up for an autograph session because I "wasn't a real player", but I've got a job to do. And no matter how clearly over matched I am, no matter if I'm the lesser of two offensive evils and defensively inferior to the guy behind me, I'll just keep humping it around the bases. It's my duty.

Heart and Soul

David Eckstein reported to camp today, his face is splashed across all the usual outlets. Seeing his tiny head peering out from beneath his comically oversized helmet reminds of one thing: I hate David Eckstein.

I hated him when he played for the Angels, I hated him when he played for the Cards and I really fucking hate him now. I don't hate him in the "he always kills our team, the spunky bastard" way, I hate the sight of him. I think I may actually hate the idea of him. Partly because I'm lazy and determined to make nothing out of something, but mostly because he's such a little weasel.

Is there a chance he could improve the Jays? Certainly. He could be a serviceable tablesetter at the top of the order. But the aesthetic price that the Jays will pay will be far greater. His stupid oversized jersey, the need to fling his narrow ass across the infield just to one-hop a throw to first, the way he chokes up to the label just to get around on big league heat. I don't care how bad Johnny Mac is with the stick, at least he looks like a ball player.

People are going to harass Wilner with love letters about heart and grit, more than likely the same people that make this journeyman and deadbeat a god in this city. You know who hustles? People that suck. I don't care about heart, I don't care about grit. At this highest level, it's about talent. I pay good money to watch guys do things that the obnoxious guy from my softball league can't. Anyone can run to first after a walk, anyone can learn to bunt. Eckstein has only ever shown me the ability to one thing at a big league level.