Gosh guys, I'm real sorry I keep getting out against the Yankees. I try and try and try, but the darn ball won't go out of the infield.
I know it looks bad now, but you better believe I'll keep going up and taking my hacks. All my career, people have told me I'm not good enough. Even now, when it is abundantly clear that they're right, I'll still give 110% every night. That may only add up to 80% of a real big leaguer, but at least I'm doing my best.
Yessireebob, I'll take my cuts, I may only hit a dribbler that barely makes the pitcher, but golly gee, I'll sure run my tukas off to firstbase. You know why? Because you just never know what might happen. Every time I ground into a double play, I think back to the words of Joe DiMaggio "There is always some kid who may be seeing me for the first or last time, I owe him my best." I too, owe those kids MY best, even though most of the kids are saying "Daddy, why is the ballboy playing shortstop" or "Dad, that player looks like the kid from my class with mittens pinned to his coat in July".
I know I'm no Joe DiMaggio, and once a kid actually cried when I showed up for an autograph session because I "wasn't a real player", but I've got a job to do. And no matter how clearly over matched I am, no matter if I'm the lesser of two offensive evils and defensively inferior to the guy behind me, I'll just keep humping it around the bases. It's my duty.