Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Strike While the Iron is Lukewarm

Is it possible to have an important series in April? Will the reeling Red Sox and the (hopefully righted) good ship Blue Jay do battle for supremacy in the AL East, or just be another example to two bald men fighting over a comb? Is there any limit to the number of mundane rhetorical questions I can ask?

Roy Halladay will heave in the general direction of the Red Sox this evening, hoping to end a personal two game losing streak (!) while continuing his three game complete game streak. BJ Ryan and Jason Frasor were seen purchasing large books full of Sudoku and Kakuro at the Fenway T stop, while Jesse Carlson and Brian Tallet both planned to drop acid on the flight because "they had a couple days off and needed to blow off some steam."

I'm not in love with the matchup of Roy v. Red Sox. The heart of their order has pretty solid numbers against the Jays ace, and he hasn't been able to win for losing this year. The Red Sox will counter with the overrated yet inspirational Jon Lester. Yahoo's Jeff Passan blew Roy Halladay a kiss today in an article about complete games. Note the strange pink tint to Roy's jersey towards the end of the article.


Last night I lined up to get Grand Theft Auto IV. While generally a straight-forward and painless process, I was gifted something from the cliche gods. The lineup at the Best Buy Gameshack was mostly 20 something dudes, normal in all respects. But the guy directly behind me was a geek/nerd/spazz of the highest order.

But wait, you might say. If you're both in the same line at midnight to buy a video game, doesn't that make you equally degenerate? Of course it does. But this fine young man had the greasy hair, bad skin and horrifically unironic glasses you would expect from a shitty MadTV sketch. Taking his geekdom from mild to transcendent was his choice of reading material. Hitman: My Real Life in the Cartoon World of Wrestling by Bret fucking Hart. It was almost too much to take. It made the experience of standing around to buy a video game somewhat tolerable. The game itself is pretty great, by the way. Many Russians have been punched and many more will meet a similar fate. Driving around committing crime while listening to Sheer Terror's Just Cant' Hate Enough is something everyone should do at some point in their life.

1 comment:

  1. you should have called me, I'd have come lineup with you, and lit up benjamin drastard.


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