Man, it feels good to be back in Canada. I really appreciate these opportunities to pitch on my home soil. I relish the chance to pitch on national TV, cuz my old high school coach doesn't usually get to watch me play. I should probably loosen up, get ready to get dirty. Should I do some long toss today? The Doc said to take it easy, but my last two starts went really well. Whatever, I'm just straight-up amped to start tonight. Mostly I'm just happy to be back amongst the guys, shooting the shit around the cage.
Who's pitching for them? AJ Burnett! Damn, he's good. He's got lights-out type shit. I remember Mike Piazza telling me that he's one of the best he's ever faced. I wonder why he hasn't won more games. I should go over and talk with him.
Yo AJ! What's up brother? Looking good man. Yo, don't shake my hand, could tear my labrum right in two. Lolz! How are you feeling this year? Yeah dude, me too. In Japan I had a blast, so many girls in skirts, it was siq. For sure, I'm glad the season started too. It does seem a little long, I think a little vakay in the middle is a great idea. 35 starts?? That is like 5 years work man. I know dude, if I make 5 starts or 50, I still get paid the same! Hilarious.
Alright man, what do you think, Europe this June? Hahah, sounds good. Owww, shit dude! I'm all for clownin, but that Charlie horse hurt! Damn man, no fucking way am I pitching tonight.