Lindependence Day!

Let me make two quick apologies: firstly to you the dear reader for subjecting you to such a cheesy and predictable title and submitting this post a day late. I know one day is forever in internet time but I hope you'll bare with me. And secondly to Adam Lind, whom I've shamefully ignored this season.

There is no good excuse for the lack of credit given to Adam Lind, both here and the greater Blue Jays universe. I haven't used the "Adam Lind" tag since APRIL, for crying out loud. During the offseason Lind was a forgotten man after a quiet ending to 2008 and the emergence of Travis Snider, who took up all the hope space in my thoughthole.

Last year, as Lind wiled away in Syracuse, we at Ghostrunner on First dubbed him the OPS EXPRESS. We waited with baited breath for him to arrive on the scene and save the day. And that he did, until he slumped through the second half. We weren't alone in expressing some skepticism over Lind's credentials.

The numbers in 2009 speak for themselves, his .932 OPS and .394 wOBA are impressive in ways I'm not quiet comfortable with. That he's gone unmentioned around here says a lot about the way I think about baseball and players and I don't think I'm alone. We take the here and now for granted while coveting the youth and future, hoping they're the answer to all our prayers. Adam Lind as been that and MORE, a fuck load more. He exceeded any and all projections in 2009 while continuing to provide hope for the future.

Where does that hope come from? This. Adam Lind's Hit Tracker profile. Lind uses all fields with power. He takes what you throw him and mashes it at will. Let's take a look at the pitches he saw Tuesday and what he did with them.



In the first inning he waits on a curveball and drives it to deep center. Next he rides a 94 mph fastball out to center again. Finally he spins on a slider inside, yanking it down the line for cheapy. (Video of all three here.) Pure hitting mastery. What a pro. If I had code-crunching skills I'd do a graph like those found at the bottom of this amazing post, but I have no such R skills and the only guy who could probably help me is having computer meltdown challenges. So my breathless praise will have to do.

Update: I'm asleep at wheel it would seem. Dave Allen created the very graph I longed for today at Fangraphs. Check it out here. Plate coverage like a motherfucker.

Displays like this will keep my faith in Adam Lind. He won't hit 35+ every year but he is a true master at the plate. Sure, he runs like a 8 year at recess and plays the field like a drunk on a unicycle, but he can hit like no other. Well some others, but nobody we've seen around here since Carlos Delgado. The power to all fields, the quick bat. Yum. I promise I won't overlook you ever again Mr. Lind.

Thanks to the usual victims of my theft Daylife, Brooks Baseball, Fangraphs, and Hit Tracker Online

I Didn't Mean it Adam Lind

I'm sorry Adam Lind, baby I didn't mean it. I know you've heard about me coveting Billy Butler, the first of many young things to shake their OPS at me. I'm only human sugar, but you know how I really feel. Adam Lind, you're the only one for me.

Remember our courtship in the spring, how I longed for you? You were our WORLD Adam Lind, we knew you would come along and make it all right. We watched you from afar, knowing our time would come. And you did Adam Lind, you did.

The honeymoon phase was a long and glorious time, my friend. You kept swinging and you looked like the answer. You were the missing bat in the lineup, performing so far above the slags that filled that spot before you arrived. They meant nothing Adam Lind, nothing! It was only physical, they were just a warm body to hold us over until we could finally consummate our true devotion to you.

It isn't hard to figure out what attracted me in the first place. You came up through the system faster than a Merchant Marine on shore leave, turning all the boys' heads and making believers of us all. You stumbled once, kids makes mistakes, but we knew you'd be back. Everyone goes through that phase right after college. They need to experiment, they need to get out there in the world. Somehow those that matter most get left behind, but you always come back, Adam Lind. We know where your heart lies.

After the honeymoon stage, we cooled. The inevitable hangover set in, and we started looking around. It's only natural. Hell, we started noticing your sister at family functions, growing from her chubby teenage years into a nice little package herself. She really filled out! She looked good, but we wouldn't dare trying to pull off the unprecedented-outside-a-trailer-park Sister Swap?

But that isn't what we want Adam. You're the one for us, despite our looking down your sister's shirt across the Thanksgiving table. We'd NEVER attempt to come between sisters, especially two as close as you.


But this whole Billy Butler thing, we must apologize. We were talking with some guys at the bar, you know how those conversations go. We mentioned, casually, that we'd like to see Billy Butler come to town. We may have said something to the effect of not being married to you any more, and referred to you as a dangle piece. We didn't mean it, we SWEAR! We don't want to replace you with a younger, sleeker model. We hear he's on the wrong side of the crazy/hot scale anyway (at least he's white, guaranteeing not one single team will factor his craziness in any way).

Yes, he's younger. When the seasons start changing like this, everybody looks around, considers their options. We're always on the lookout for the next big thing, thinking it might wrestle us out of our winter doldrums. It's no fun being a known commodity, not with so much scattered ass freely available on the Internet and in our minds.

Yes, he looks a lot like your sister. We don't want to squeeze you out Adam Lind, we want Billy to enhance our relationship. You know your faults Adam, and you're no Rocco in the outfield. But this guy is like a Manny! We see a big future for you, for Travis and Billy in this crazy family. Uncle Lyle? There is still room for him too! I think it's too soon for your sister, maybe she should go back to the kid's table in the kitchen. I know I've been feeding her wine coolers all night, so fucking what? She's entitled to a little fun too, dammit. Stop trying to control me. No, I think YOU'VE had too much to drink. Fuck, your mother hates me.

Flashback Friday

Nothing says Flashback Friday like Danny fucking Cox. Could it be we're running out of ex-Jays to flashback with at the end of every week? Danny spent three heroic years here in the Big Smoke, winning nine games while losing ten. I'm sure we would have gone all out had he actually been a .500 pitcher during his time here. Sadly, he fell one win short of us rolling out the red carpet. At least he's still rocking the a mean hillbilly dick duster.

What isn't a surprise is Adam Lind continuing to make believers out of the entire city. He picked up two more hits and scored a run tonight, raising his average to .312 (and Slugging % to .531!) in the process.

Sadly, Scott Rolen is still having problems actually seeing the baseball, which is a key part to being a productive hitter at the Major League or any level. Thank Jebus for his ridiculous glove. I hope Lloyd doesn't chastise me too badly for that. Ed. Note: The Greatest Blue Jay of All Time is simple the Greatest Blue Jay Of All Time That Looks Lost at the Plate Right now.

Shit, Seattle is bad. I feel horribly for Ghostrunner mancrush Ichiro being surrounded by a bunch of underachievers...well not too horribly. This collection of clowns are on their way to 100+ losses without a doubt.

Other bright spots tonight is Matt Stairs, who's been long overdue to get his shit together. Much like the Jays bullpen, which has and will no doubt continue to be solid from here on in. 10 games over .500? I say without equivocation most definitely maybe. But what the fuck do I know.

Adam Lind - Free at Last

Adam Lind just went 3-4 and notched the game winning RBI. This gave the Jays the sweep. In other words, Chief busted out and proceeded to bang three girls at the local liberal arts college. And then he was given the job of security guard at a nearby microbrewery.

Sadly, Brandon "McMurphy" League may be an involuntary lobotomy patient. Someone seems to have cut any knowledge of the strike zone clean out of his brain.

Jays Conclude Midweek Series at Abu Ghairb

A seemingly endless long weekend has everyone I know moving very, very slowly. We could all use a little Alkaline pick-me-up through our tender and sunburnt nipples.

Brandon League - Oxidized

Brandon League hooked his right arm up to a car battery, hoping to shake off muscle atrophy. He saw his first action in more than a week, pitching two innings that didn't exactly inspire unchecked glee. He did wriggle out of a minijam and was at least on the mound in a situation that mattered. He throws harder than Chris Snyder or Jose Molina will be for a while.

Miguel Cairo - Undead

Miguel Cairo - Yankees Glue Guy was really easy to hate. Just another journeyman that can do no wrong when he straps on those damned pinstripes. He's now reduced to being a random bench guy on the worst team in baseball. Clearly his career is dead or at least dying. Suddenly, he pops up and starts driving in winning runs, pissing me off and costing the Jays games. The only explanation: HE'S A ZOMBIE! Some cruel bastard hooked his corpse to a 12 volt car battery and here he is; moving runners over, bunting and feasting on the flesh of the living. Re-animated without the benefit of blinding speed.

Adam Lind - Someone Left the Lights On

Adam Lind's star shone so brightly. The cognescenti has been heralding him as the savior all year long, largely because of his crazy numbers at every level. We shouldn't dismiss the fact that we're all fools waiting for the next big thing. Unwashed, uninformed masses full of hope and cheese doodles.

His first go-around this season had him looking over his shoulder after every at bat, wondering when the ax would fall. 19 at bats later, Gibby emerged from the local multiplex only to learn his car was dead. The sumbitch won't even turn over! Cito produced the jumper cables from within his jalopy's trunk, restarting Adam Lind's season. His obvious talent is the alternator, providing some much needed power. OPS Express for life.

Erin Andrews - Untalented

I'll never understand the universe's Erin Andrews worship. Reading any major sports blog makes it impossible to be unaware of her ex-cheerleader persona. Sure, she's reasonably attractive, works in and presumably enjoys sports. Hooray, she's every lazy man's dream. You think that shit would last? You can share all the interests in the world; once your undying attention shifts from her you'll find yourself debating the merits of paint colours with names varying from aplomb to capri coast to barrista. Beige. They're all fucking beige.

The internets are set ablaze anytime she does anything, including our prolific manfriend David Chalk posting a video of her getting the diaper dandy treatment from Dickie Vee. Watching the video my only thoughts are: GAHHHH! That accent is a fate worse than death; a torture I cannot withstand. She needs to partake in some Veronica Corningstone non-regional diction exercises. I'm not too proud to post her picture though. Let the hits roll in!!

Four, Five & Six

Shut the fuck up. Six runs driven in by the four, five and six spot today? That's about the kind of production you'd almost EXPECT from the heart of the order. After managing just three runs in the first couple of games the bats came alive today in an 8-5 victory over the Pirates. Vernon Wells, Lyle Overbay and Scott Rolen each drove in a pair of runs, while the OPS Express fresh up from the farm hit his first big fly of the season, a trend that hopefully continues.

Joe Inglett hitting out of the two hole was a solid 3 for 4 with a run scored. Somewhere Lloyd is overjoyed and will be ecstatic as soon as Brandon League sees some action in the days to come.

Cito Gaston finally got to enjoy his first win as Jays skipper since piloting the Jays to a 3-0 win over the Yankees September 19th 1997. The victory also ensured the Jays didn't come back home from a road trip that could have seen them go 0-6 without the win today. Something that's only happened twice in team history.

Not to be denied

Roy Halladay wasn't going to go out and throw another gem and come away with the loss. I was pretty sure of that. David Eckstein did his best to try and saddle Roy with the loss. His brutal throw after an Orlando Cabrera grounder pulled Lyle Overbay off the bag at first and paved the way for a three run third for the Sox. We all know how that shit could have been avoided.

That was all the Sox could muster, and the Jays ran their winning streak to four behind the continued brilliance of their pitching staff. Jesse Carlson came in and continued to baffle opposing hitters, while Jeremy Accardo and Scott downs came in and shut the door in the ninth.

One more thing I'm sure of: the OPS express will get his bat going soon and make everyone finally shut the hell up about Reed Johnson. I will add, and am unhappy to do so, that Shannon Stewart has been a huge disappointment, but not all calculated moves always work out.

You can't handle it

That's right. You can't. It's April 26th and already you're hitting the panic button like someone needs to be fired, as though the season is lost. The Jays can't hit, we need to do something quick. If we don't, we'll be so far behind we'll have no chance for the post-season.

Hey dipshit, it's baseball. The season is 162 fucking games, not 40. Ever heard of the 2007 Colorado Rockies? That's what I thought. Last time I checked, the American league East wasn't won in April, so calm the fuck down Toronto. Does it suck the Jays aren't hitting and have lost five in a row? Yes, it most definitely does. Do we need to fire John Gibbons, royally fuck with the lineup and go out and find someone who will guarantee us production? No, we most definitely don't.

Everyone needs to relax and remember where the shit we are in the season. Yes it's true if they continue to play the way they are they can kiss any chance of a decent season goodbye, but I for one can't ignore that the talent on this team is good enough and has enough potential to turn it around and make you all eat your shoes.

The OPS Express is in the lineup tonight, Rios is getting hot and it's only a matter of time before the rest follow.

Have some faith.

Not mincing words

To no one's surprise Frank Thomas was seen riding the pine today when the Jays took on the Tigers. Evidently he was spoken to by manager John Gibbons sometime in the morning before the game. I'm quite sure his absence was due to his lack of offensive production of late.

Thomas was quoted later on as saying, "Sixty at bats isn't enough time to make that decison, I'm angry. I know I can help this team. My career isn't going to end this way."

Whoa, what's with the drama Frank? No need to be a cry baby. You're play over the past couple of weeks could be defined as shit you realize. It's one fucking game, act like a professional. FYI - Zero at bats is enough time to make that decision if YOU'RE THE FUCKING MANAGER.

You go on being angry, you and your .167 average.

UPDATE - Thomas can go on being angry for different reasons now as TSN is reporting that
Thomas has been released by the Jays. I for one am not at all surprised.

The Weather is Improving

Sadly, we won't need our Coats for long. With encouraging reports coming from within the organization (note: this organization is notoriously full of shit, so we will take our daily recommended amount of salt here) regarding the health of Scott Rolen and BJ Ryan, one must conclude that Buckskin Coats' days with the big club are numbered. Which is a shame. He did well in spring training to win himself a job, but figures to be the odd man out once Scott Rolen is ready to end lives and crack skulls at the hot corner.

With the Blue Jays current left field core being charitably described as ancient; Buck Coats has been a pleasure to watch as the de-facto late inning defender. He's played in 5 of the Jays' 7 games so far, but with only 2 ABs to show for it. On Saturday, Dustin Pedroia laced a double to left centre, and Ol'Buck nicely played the carom and fired the ball in to the cutoff man. It took me a second to realize that it wasn't Rios in left, but Buck after all.

His hot spring had the blogosphere digging around the interwebs for skeletons in his closet, only to come up with evidence of him not hitting well at the big league level. Despite his defensive prowess, he isn't likely to derail the Adam Lind OPS Express on its way (back) to the bigs. There just isn't room on this roster for another no-bat gloveman. They've already got the best in the business in that department, maybe he can play left too.