The Jays will sweep the leg...I mean Rays

Why? Because I fucking said so. It'd be easy to throw in the towel, admit defeat and try to re-tool for next year. Quite honestly, that is horseshit. So what if you've got the Rays, Red Sox and Yankees in front of you? That shit isn't going to change. Not unless MLB plans on re-aligning in the near future. It's July 28th, and I still fucking believe. Wishful thinking? Who knows, and I don't give a shit. These are my guys, this is my team and it's baseball, so anything can happen.

A.J. Burnett was a demon on the hill today, fanning ten while allowing just six hits in seven innings of work. JP has indicated that A.J. isn't going anywhere, and with McGowan on the shelf for the season, I actually buy what he's saying. Joe Inglett is awesome. I don't know if the rest of Toronto would show him the kind of man-love I would, but they sure should think about it. Adam Lind is batting .311 and when Wells returns, assuming he's healthy, that isn't a bad starting outfield is it?

With and inevitable Halladay victory tomorrow and a Jay shelling of Edwin Jackson on Wednesday, the Jays will only be 5.5 back of the Rays and it won't even be August. You're fucking right I'm an optimist, but what the hell is the alternative?

Not Quite Enough Said

Credit Crunch

Not to step on the Reverend's toes, but to dismiss Jair Jurrjen's performance last night as another shitty outing by the Jays isn't fair. He was outstanding, mixing his pitches and changing speeds really, really well. The Jays hit a few balls hard, but they were generally in the direction of Mark Teixeira's Hoover-like glove. The Portuguese Prince kills the Jays more frequently than he pours chiment; amassing 16 home runs in only 40 games. He plays a mighty fine first base and enjoys sandwiches of his mother's creation. Looks like he hit another today. Bloody hell.

Ça va mal Frenchy?

I was pretty excited to see an old mancrush in the flesh yesterday. Jeff Francouer is an exciting player that is mired in a terrible season. He's been dropped all the way to 7th in the order, and just looks out of sorts at the plate. He did make an excellent catch in the right fielder corner, but wasn't given the opportunity to unleash the cannon. Hopefully on Sunday the Jays will string together a few hits. You go first-to-third over his dead body.

One thing he has in his favour is a fine beard of neglect, continuing a theme among players I "admire". I'm off next week, but I'm moving. So I too, will have the depression beard in no time.

Cito and his lineup = BFF

I'm all for some stability in the lineup, but Cito has resumed his WAMCO ways and set the lineup in stone. Rod Barajas was on fire, then sat 4 straight games. Eckstein was having a good month but clearly Cito and I share more than the feeling that Inglett should hit second. That feeling is a good one though, as Inglett has dropped science, english and all manner of academia since being installed as the #2 hitter. Including today, he's sporting a dead sexy .417/.481/.583 line since starting the game in the on deck circle. It's only a 5 game sample size, but that is insane improvement from that spot in the lineup.

And what of poor Brandon League? He hasn't thrown a pitch since his call up, yet Brian Tallet has pitched mop up in both drubbings of the Reds. Give the man an inning!

Cito shook things up a little today, slotting Barajas and Eckstein back into the lineup, with Barajas providing a home run. I'm sure Eckstein ran to first after drawing a walk. He's so special. He's also been hit by a pitch. That is satisfying on numerous levels.

Tomorrow Starts Today - Opening Day Redux

Today is the first day of the rest of your life Adam Lind

Cito Gaston, heeding the sage advice of every Jay-watcher this year, has pledged to play Adam Lind pretty much every day. After his 12 pitch battle-come-dinger into orbit, all signs point to him "getting it" this time around. And by signs, I of course mean hope. He isn't going to solve the punchless Jays problems alone, but getting league-average or better production out of left field is certainly a start.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life Joe Inglett

How does starting second baseman for a month sound? How does number 2 hitter sound? Joe Inglett reminds me a lot of Mark DeRosa, and I mean that in a complimentary way. His bat and versatility should keep him in the big leagues, but lack of a "true position" may hold him back. As I said before, he's earned himself some more playing time.

Cito has said he's going to hit Overbay either 2nd or 5th, so here's hoping both players make his mind up for him. If each man makes the contribution they are capable of (no small feat this year), I like Overbay 5th and the Doctor 2nd.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life Adam Dunn

Perhaps not. After responding to JP's comments in the calm and calculated manner of a man lacking passion, Adam Dunn makes his first visit to Twoonieland. The Tao send him a big, sloppy kiss with mending fences in mind. Sadly, I can't see Uncle Ted cutting a big enough check to Git'r Dunn. If only there was a sudden infusion of cash that Rogers could count on in the coming weeks...

Today is the first day of the rest of your life Joey Votto

Not really, today is simply the first day you will be bombarded by "hometown boy makes good" questions from local hacks desperate for a lazy angle this week. Joey Votto is clearly a stud, going off like a cannon to the tune of 7-12 with a home run at Yankee Stadium. Of course the Jays could use that kind of pop in their lineup. Of course he'd love to come home and play for the Jays. Of course it won't happen until 3 years too late.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life Cito Gaston

Jeff Blair said it on Sunday; but now that Cito and the Jays are at home, with a day off to collect themselves, we will get a real sense this club's direction. Looks like Inglett is hitting second once again! Scutaro is leading off, Lind ninth?!? If you insist Cito. Go on with your bad self. Eckstein now feels the same way about Cito as I do about Eckstein. No one could ever accuse him of not making his mark on the team. With a few weeks to go before the All Star break, Cito does still have time to rejuvenate this team. Is this what hope smells like?

Four, Five & Six

Shut the fuck up. Six runs driven in by the four, five and six spot today? That's about the kind of production you'd almost EXPECT from the heart of the order. After managing just three runs in the first couple of games the bats came alive today in an 8-5 victory over the Pirates. Vernon Wells, Lyle Overbay and Scott Rolen each drove in a pair of runs, while the OPS Express fresh up from the farm hit his first big fly of the season, a trend that hopefully continues.

Joe Inglett hitting out of the two hole was a solid 3 for 4 with a run scored. Somewhere Lloyd is overjoyed and will be ecstatic as soon as Brandon League sees some action in the days to come.

Cito Gaston finally got to enjoy his first win as Jays skipper since piloting the Jays to a 3-0 win over the Yankees September 19th 1997. The victory also ensured the Jays didn't come back home from a road trip that could have seen them go 0-6 without the win today. Something that's only happened twice in team history.

Cito's First Order of Business

Find someone to hit second.

The Jays can't score, this everyone knows. Alex Rios, Vernon Wells, Lyle Overbay et al are having horrific years. This everyone assumes, but isn't exactly true. This team is victim if its own horrible, self-created circumstances.

The Toronto Blue Jays are 26th in runs out of 30 teams. But they are 17th in hits, 10th in On Base Percentage. So why the discrepancy? Where did all the runs go? Who or what is this black hole, absorbing all the base runners with its immense gravitational field? The number two spot in the order sucks up all the outs with the best hitters still on the edge of the event horizon.

How is this for a slash line for the number 2 hole: .224/.284/.312/.596? ATROCIOUS is how that is. A .596 OPS? How is that possible?? A .284 on base (following a .317 OBP of the lead off men) means the number three guy (Rios, Rolen, Wells on occasion) are coming up with 2 out nearly 70% of the time. Highly paid or not, that is a lot of pressure to put on a team not built for power. The Jays don't need to score a lot of runs to win, but if they are to fully adopt a small(er)ball style, the need for production from this spot is crucial.

Consider the Minnesota Twins. They have hit even fewer home runs than the Jays, yet have scored almost 60 more runs. Their #2 hitter? The world renowned Alex Casilla. Currently trucking along at a healthy .298/.350/.421/.771 clip, he's driven in only 24 runs. What he isn't doing, however, is compounding his teams flaws by making outs at an insane rate. While Rios/Wells/Rolen aren't Mauer/Morneau/Cuddyer, they are all good bats. Perhaps, as the Tao suggests, they are good 6, 7, 8th spot bats only. Production still shouldn't be THIS much of an issue.

Were I in Cito's cit; I'd do two things:

1. Depressingly, lead off with Davey Eckstein. Only while the offense struggles, but right now he seems to be the only one able to get on base with any regularity.
2. I'd play Joe Inglett every day until Aaron Hill returns. His splits are damn impressive, so long as he steers clear of lefties. I'd go ahead and hit Inglett second as well. Marco Scutaro has been exposed as a utility guy that can't do it every day.

After that, I'm almost ready to get wacky. Rios - Overbay - Wells - Rolen? Rios - Wells - Overbay - Rolen? Where does Lind figure in? I think he figures in prominently (as the number 7 hitter against righties), but I also believe some of the bloggy conjecture that he's stuck in AAA until he gets his attitude in check. Which sucks.

The Jays don't have a stud like Roccopolous or Chase Utley to hit second; so until Aaron Hill is healthy (soon please) and as consistent as his Beantown doppelgänger, this spot will be trouble. Paging Doctor Joe Inglett?

Jump Up and Down Update Jays Recall Adam Lind!!!

Jump Up and Down off a Bridge Update Because Shaun Marcum is on the DL and going to visit the ligament pimp of Birmingham

See You in Hell

The Toronto Blue Jays baseball club hates you. They hate me, they hate us all. They obviously hate themselves. Why else would they allow Dave fucking Bush to no hit them for 7 innings? Because they're a terrible offensive ball club, you might suggest. You'd be right, but the Toronto Blue Jays baseball club aren't so easy to pin down.

Instead of rolling over, the Blue Jays offer us a final fuck you in Milwaukee. They score 6 in the 9th by way of 2 home runs, only to strand the tying the run. Now that is Blue Jays baseball, circa 2008. Punch in the gut, kick in the junk.

That is the same treatment AJ Burnett gave to what little trade value he has left. The same treatment Russell "The Muscle You Could Have Acquired For A Song" Branyan gave JP and 28 other GM's by hitting as many home runs this series as Alex Rios has all season. That Alex Rios, the one that gave good sense and the rules of baseball a kick in the spine. The howls for JP/Gibby's headsjobs are deafening, and I'm running out of ways to defend them. This team isn't this bad, except that it is playing this bad. Only four guys that would only create 5 runs per game on their own? Sad. Today's blow out come one run loss is just another strange tick in their Pythagorean record.

Stuff that doesn't make your neck itch for the hempy goodness of a noose

ROCCO'S REHAB is going swimmingly. Two home runs! Three walks! It's all happening!

And here is a video dedicated to all citizens of Toronto, nay the world, that are not of Portuguese heritage.

Shortstops Go Down, Rolen Steps Up

David Eckstein and John McDonald were both placed on the 15 day DL this afternoon, leaving the team without a starting shortstop. The team has called up utility man Joe "Some drop science well I'm droppin" Inglett to serve in a variety of roles.

The team is considering a radical new defensive strategy, as Scott Rolen has volunteered to play the entire left side of the infield. "I'm just trying to help the team win" offered the best option at both positions. Numerous baseball statheads and number-geeks were sent scurrying back to their parents basement, divided on the potential impact to his zone rating. The erudite Rolen mentioned in passing that his range factor may take a hit, but the team is what is really important.

Manager John Gibbons, who until recently was hesitant to use gloveman/savant John McDonald as a defensive caddy for the diminutive Eckstein, now sees Scott Rolen as the answer at short. And Third. "This is a team that struggles to generate offence at times, so we need as many bats as possible" Gibbons remarked, adding that he has petitioned the league to allow Rolen two spots in the batting order.

Another option for the Blue Jays is to play both Inglett and Shannon Stewart in leftfield simultaneously. Gibbons believes that Inglett's inexperience coupled with Stewart's weak throwing arm could combine to form a great concurrent platoon. "Stew's got good range, but his noodle isn't the strongest" Gibbons continued: "If we use Joey as a built-in cutoff man, we can have the best of both worlds!" Gibbons added that with a right hander on the mound, we could see the concurrent platoon of Stairs and Stewart, who's combined range factor could match that of Carl Crawford.