Thursday, June 19, 2008

See You in Hell

The Toronto Blue Jays baseball club hates you. They hate me, they hate us all. They obviously hate themselves. Why else would they allow Dave fucking Bush to no hit them for 7 innings? Because they're a terrible offensive ball club, you might suggest. You'd be right, but the Toronto Blue Jays baseball club aren't so easy to pin down.

Instead of rolling over, the Blue Jays offer us a final fuck you in Milwaukee. They score 6 in the 9th by way of 2 home runs, only to strand the tying the run. Now that is Blue Jays baseball, circa 2008. Punch in the gut, kick in the junk.

That is the same treatment AJ Burnett gave to what little trade value he has left. The same treatment Russell "The Muscle You Could Have Acquired For A Song" Branyan gave JP and 28 other GM's by hitting as many home runs this series as Alex Rios has all season. That Alex Rios, the one that gave good sense and the rules of baseball a kick in the spine. The howls for JP/Gibby's headsjobs are deafening, and I'm running out of ways to defend them. This team isn't this bad, except that it is playing this bad. Only four guys that would only create 5 runs per game on their own? Sad. Today's blow out come one run loss is just another strange tick in their Pythagorean record.

Stuff that doesn't make your neck itch for the hempy goodness of a noose

ROCCO'S REHAB is going swimmingly. Two home runs! Three walks! It's all happening!

And here is a video dedicated to all citizens of Toronto, nay the world, that are not of Portuguese heritage.

1 comment:

Send forth the witticisms from on high