Monday, June 30, 2008

Jays Face Off Against Mariners, Realize How Much Worse it Could Be

All Uncle Ted needs to do is up the payroll by $20 million. He too, could have a light-hitting catcher making $8 million a year, a first baseman sporting an OPS+ of 84 while being paid $14 million a year, and a bench guy named Willie without an extra-base hit all season. Perhaps the Jays could double what they paid Miguel Batista when he was a Jay to see an ERA+ of 60 up close an personal. How about a DH making $8 million with an on base percentage of .269! Not a misprint, simply a travesty.

This team is terrible. I pity the poor folks at USS Mariner, who run an outstanding operation yet are forced to focus on this mess. At least they have Brendan Morrow; he makes Joba look like Jarrod. JJ Putz isn't long for this world by the looks of this kid.

All Mariners contract information via Cot's Contracts, stats from Baseball Reference. Follow the links to have your spirit broken. No wonder everyone chases the dragon in the Northwest. Here, this will lift your spirits before the M's take 2 of 3 from the Jays.


  1. i guess you're right, it could be worse, we could be seattle fans.

    but yo we really need to win this series. we really need to win, like, all of em from here on out. fuck.

  2. Meh, could be worse for the Marinerds of this world: Billy Beane probably retires from baseball after 2009 to rip shit in major league soccer, the Rangers are perpetually fucked up in one way or another, the Angels can't win every year, and say what you will about the shady Japo businessmen who run the club but at least they spend their cash like drunken sailors at the Solid Gold Club.

    Still, did anyone in this world actually watch the Mariners-Padres interleague series? That is an impressive amount of suck on the diamond at one time. I'd rather watch the London Majors body slam the Stratford Roughriders in intercounty league action. Yeah, that's right.


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