Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Off Days Cause the Mind To Wander

Jays Sent to Milwaukee as Punishment for Inconsistent Play

Well that homestand certainly didn't go to plan. The Jays now must suffer a fate worse than being last in the AL East: three days in Milwaukee. The baseball pain shouldn't be too terrible, though I suppose the Brewers are a decent team. Ben Sheets will teach class on how to be a large budget, oft-injured heartbreaker on Wednesday, while Dave Bush hopes to be the latest ex Jay to stop sucking long enough to make people wonder why he got the boot in the first place. Propagandhi fan Prince Fielder is having a decent year with 11 home runs. TVP is the new HGH! Chosen One Ryan Braun moved to the outfield this year, where his robust offense is no longer offset by his decidedly shitty defense at third. David Eckstein's older brother is somehow the Brew Crew's starting shortstop and their starting right fielder just died in your arms tonight. It must have been something you said. Wait, what? No, fuck that, it's a Corey Hart song. Cutting Crew??? Who the fuck are they? Bullshit.

AJ Burnett Abides

Somehow, AJ Burnett has become a sympathetic figure in my eyes. He's the Dude, and everyone in Toronto is the Malibu Police Chief. They don't like his jerkoff name, they don't like his jerkoff face, they don't like his jerkoff behavior, and they don't like him; because he's a jerkoff. Garth Woosley encouraged AJ to get his goldbrickin' ass out of his beach community in today's Star. JP would have to make one hell of a Caucasian to get him out of town at the right price though.

Just Because Something is Stupid Doesn't Mean It's Wrong

I'm ambivalent about interleague play. The Jays lack a geographic rival so it's all pretty contrived from their standpoint. The same thing applies for the DH. It's weird when you think that one guy just gets to hit, he essential misses out on half the game. It's also weird that National League stats count the same when you get to face either the pitcher or a guy too shitty to play everyday at least three times a game. I like that each league uses their own rules, and in National League parks their rules apply.

As detailed on Big League Stew today, people complaining about pitchers having to run the bases is a travesty. It is only RUNNING. This isn't the AFC having a rule stating "All quarterbacks must play middle linebacker at least one down per series when the NFC teams come to town." Wang was injured RUNNING. He's a professional athlete! He should be able to run 180 feet without breaking his foot in a way often associated with falling into a hole. If he fucked his foot up in a serious way running from third to home yesterday, he was bound to break down from the incredibly violent act of heaving a ball 90 miles an hour from a standing position.

Speaking of Big League Stew, they are reviewing all 30 big league parks this summer, and Monday was the Skydome's turn. The man in charge sent out the call for some assistance from a few of us blogging-type nerds and he included a few of my tidbits of knowledge. Check it out, and use your 10 year old email address to leave a few comments. Bier Markt, I know, I know. I've embraced my inner banker. I was concerned that my true love isn't a ballpark touring, RVing midwesterner kind of place.


  1. well done on the review of the Domer...

    and Burnett is a jerkoff, I just don't know why everyone is so surprised. he came to town with this reputation.

    and we're sweeping the brew crew. you heard it here first.

  2. the Mets are a game under .500 and Willie Randolph's just been fired...could Gibbons be next!?

    and CM Wang is gone until September! LOL.

  3. Bier Markt sounds like my kind of place. I owe you a cold one when I hit Toronto ... Thanks again for the input.

  4. We were going to say the Zanzibar, but we thought that might be a bit offside.


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