Friday, June 6, 2008

Better Living Through Chemistry

Having mellowed slightly since yesterday's scrotum punch from The Great Grape Smuggler himself sent me off the deep end, I am pleased to note that the horseshit Orioles roll into town. Their descent back to Earth hasn't been as swift I as I thought, but they're certainly on their way. A quick peek at their record shows them beating on bad teams while struggling against the good ones.

They're a strangely built team, with a couple young studs but mostly older jobbers holding down positions. Their pitching staff is as faceless as it is ineffective. They aren't nearly as terrible as they projected in the pre-season, but there's still lots of time get to 100 loses.

Hopefully the Jays won't find themselves mired in another one-run heartbreaker, as I can't take too many more. With a 9-13 record in such games, neither can Gibby. Cruel and heartless Pythagoras has smitten the Jays again, as they're back down to a minus 2 for the season.


Will Leitch is leaving Deadspin to be a contributing editor for New York Magazine. Good for him, bad for Deadspin? I wonder where Gawker might try to take the site now that the template already exists.

As Joanna pointed out, Manny smacked Youkilis right in his goatee in a post-donnybrook melee. Manny is proving his spot on the Mancrush All Stars was no fluke. I wish the Red Sox weren't so damn good. This won't serve as a distraction nor will it knock them from first place. Their fragile pitching staff on the other hand....

The Euro starts tomorrow. England didn't qualify. I hope it ends with a minimum of horn-honking. If I could bring myself to it, I'd be supporting France. Luckily I can't and won't.

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