Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Gene Tenace Elected to Baseball Hall of Fame

In an unprecedented move, the Baseball Writers of America have voted unanimously to elect Fiore Gino Tennaci to the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York. The writers agreed to waive the five year waiting period because of Tenace's incredible contributions to both the game and the world at large. Induction ceremonies at to be held in between the fourth and fifth successive home runs the Blue Jays are due to hit against perennial Cy Young candidate Aaron Harang.

The vote went through during the second inning of last night's game.The carnage left behind after the offensive explosion (or eruption) totaled three home runs, 22 hits and 14 runs. All of this after the Jays bats savaged the Pirates like so much syphilis scurvy; adding 2 more home runs and 8 runs total.

Tenace took over as the hitting coach for one of the worst offensive teams in all of baseball. Literally ALL of baseball. The Toronto Blue Jays had fallen behind Gary Carter's Orange County Flyers in total bases, extra base hits and number of guys moonlighting at the local deli. Tenace's arrival signed a fresh start for the moribund Jays, and a two day transitional period was all it took for Tenace's revolutionary methods to take effect.

Tenace is being elected as both a builder and manager. His earth-shattering philosophy of "see ball, hit ball" has been the tipping point of the Blue Jays season. After only 4 games, the former catcher has not only undone the harmful effects of an unqualified, barely literate witch doctor but also set a potential triple crown winner's career back on course.

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