The Other Teams Are Better

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No point in burying the lede. The Blue Jays aren't in the playoffs (though they're still mathematically alive) because they other teams are better. Or they're not good enough. One of those two things.

It isn't for a lack of trying and it isn't by a lot, but wins 84-90 are a lot tougher to come by than wins 74 to 83. There was one great month and few months that were decidedly less than great, months that undid the goodness of that magical May.

That pretty much sums up the club on a more granular level, too. For all Jose Bautista's GBOATery, there were far too many sinkholes undercutting his production. Rather than tower over the lesser mortals, he was a fully-grown actor walking in a moat so Sylvester Stallone doesn't look like oompa loompa while laying waste to an Oregon village.

More of the Same

Another day, another reminder of what it means to be a Jays fan. Important-sounding website Market Watch released a study measuring the amount each team in baseball spent on each win above replacement. And would you believe it? The Jays are very good at efficiently picking up wins.

As it turns out, the Jays are good at picking up wins, period. The study examines total payroll from 2008-2010 and measures them against WAR over the same period. The Jays rank seventh in baseball at grabbing cheap wins, spending just over $1.916 million dollars per fWAR. More impressively, the Jays ranked fifth in WAR from 2008-2010. In the whole league.

Model franchise, and sportswriter Pinnacle of Baseballing Might and Defenders of the Faith, the Minnesota Twins rank just ahead of the Jays in efficient spending, paying out around $125000 less per win. But lo, what's this? The Jays actually amassed more Wins than the sainted Twins, (125.5 to 124.3)? How could that be? The Twins have two playoff appearances in that time while the Jays languish at the bottom of the AL East??

I think this highlights stuff Alex Anthopoulos already knows: the Jays are able to find cheap talent well enough, now they must increase the quality of the talent. The team continues positioning itself in a way that allows them to pay top dollar for high end talent because of all the freely accessible cheap players at the ready.

Again, this isn't news to most of the people reading this site. All the talk about the "money being there when we need it" is key, because the only thing worse than not having the money at all is spending the money for the sake of spending it. The Jays — Jose Bautista notwithstanding — display the patience to stay away from this sinkhole. The foundation is in place, I think we're all ready for the next step.

Image courtesy of flickr user Moctagon Jones

Better Living Through Chemistry

Having mellowed slightly since yesterday's scrotum punch from The Great Grape Smuggler himself sent me off the deep end, I am pleased to note that the horseshit Orioles roll into town. Their descent back to Earth hasn't been as swift I as I thought, but they're certainly on their way. A quick peek at their record shows them beating on bad teams while struggling against the good ones.

They're a strangely built team, with a couple young studs but mostly older jobbers holding down positions. Their pitching staff is as faceless as it is ineffective. They aren't nearly as terrible as they projected in the pre-season, but there's still lots of time get to 100 loses.

Hopefully the Jays won't find themselves mired in another one-run heartbreaker, as I can't take too many more. With a 9-13 record in such games, neither can Gibby. Cruel and heartless Pythagoras has smitten the Jays again, as they're back down to a minus 2 for the season.

Elsewhere

Will Leitch is leaving Deadspin to be a contributing editor for New York Magazine. Good for him, bad for Deadspin? I wonder where Gawker might try to take the site now that the template already exists.

As Joanna pointed out, Manny smacked Youkilis right in his goatee in a post-donnybrook melee. Manny is proving his spot on the Mancrush All Stars was no fluke. I wish the Red Sox weren't so damn good. This won't serve as a distraction nor will it knock them from first place. Their fragile pitching staff on the other hand....

The Euro starts tomorrow. England didn't qualify. I hope it ends with a minimum of horn-honking. If I could bring myself to it, I'd be supporting France. Luckily I can't and won't.

You can't handle it

That's right. You can't. It's April 26th and already you're hitting the panic button like someone needs to be fired, as though the season is lost. The Jays can't hit, we need to do something quick. If we don't, we'll be so far behind we'll have no chance for the post-season.

Hey dipshit, it's baseball. The season is 162 fucking games, not 40. Ever heard of the 2007 Colorado Rockies? That's what I thought. Last time I checked, the American league East wasn't won in April, so calm the fuck down Toronto. Does it suck the Jays aren't hitting and have lost five in a row? Yes, it most definitely does. Do we need to fire John Gibbons, royally fuck with the lineup and go out and find someone who will guarantee us production? No, we most definitely don't.

Everyone needs to relax and remember where the shit we are in the season. Yes it's true if they continue to play the way they are they can kiss any chance of a decent season goodbye, but I for one can't ignore that the talent on this team is good enough and has enough potential to turn it around and make you all eat your shoes.

The OPS Express is in the lineup tonight, Rios is getting hot and it's only a matter of time before the rest follow.

Have some faith.

Ghostrunning with the Devil - Season Preview - AL East

A simple equation for season preview success:

Uninformed pontificator + hackneyed gimmick - accountability = I'M A GENIUS!

One final time, our gimmick of choice will find us pairing each team with a band/artist from the same area code. The connections will be tenuous at best and derived from my completely arbitrary criteria. Teams are arranged by predicted order of finish, based on nothing approximating math, science or logic.

This week, the only one that matters. THE LAST ONE. The AL East.

	Boston Red Sox - Isis
	This is almost unfair to Isis. I enjoy them so much, while harbouring deep-seated resentment and hatred for the Red Sox. Isis has improved and expanded their sound on each record, developing new and interesting ways to entertain stoners. The Red Sox are more than just an intimidating line-up from top to bottom, they've added speed, and an increased importance on defense (hello otherwise unemployable Julio Lugo) to an already stuffed rotation and solid bullpen. There are still question marks, but they are certainly the team to beat.
	YOUR Toronto Blue Jays - The Constantines
	If not now, then when. The pitching staff is rounding into form, improvements abound, nagging injuries are hopefully in the past. This is the team that you really, really want to do well. Likable without being too touchy-feely gritty-cutsey, like the Constantines. A rock band, period. Enough melody to keep their shows from being a dude ranch, and straight forward enough that they could foreseeably seep over into the Nickelbacked crowd. Compared to the rest of the AL, there are fewer potential landmines for this team. See you in hell, and in the ALDS.
	New York Yankees - The Beastie Boys
	It is quite a feat for a team to be too old and too young all at the same time. It's a little sad, like a bunch of 40 year old men prancing around under the name the Beastie Boys. They used to be great sure, but their time has passed. And uniformed white people LOVE them, it's a default setting. "I don't really like rap, but I love the Beastie Boys." Same guy: "I don't really watch baseball, but I really like the Yankees." Vanilla ice cream is horseshit.
	Tampa Bay Rays - Underoath
	I could go on about how the now 100% Devil-free Rays are very much like a christian mall-mosh band, about how the Rays are too young and free-swinging and their pitching is horrifically overrated. But fuck that. It's Rocco o'clock. Fuck you Kevin Hench, for your lazy journalism which you refuse to retract. Fuck you nature, for fucking with Rocco's chemical makeup. Fuck you Woonsocket, for having such an appealing name. And fuck you Rocco, for making it impossible for me to quit you.
	Baltimore Orioles - Good Charlotte
	What? Seriously? They are going to be fucking AWFUL. Having to play these four team 76 times a year? Without any pitching whatsoever? They might win 60 total all year. Lots of youth, and Nick Markakis COULD be the greek Rocco. I'm not ready to commit to anything yet. I need to figure out me first. Good Charlotte are known to be nice guys. They've gone way the fuck out of their league with some quality LA ass, but their band could not be worse. It is an impossibility.

Awesome. This is finished, which means actual baseball is right around the corner. Bliss. I'll leave these predictions on the sidebar for a while, long enough for my idiocy to be proven, not just assumed.

AL E - Red Sox C - Tigers W - Angels WC - Blue fucking Jays.
NL E - Mets C - Cubs W - Dodgers WC - Phillies
ALCS - Red Sox / Tigers
NLCS - Mets / Dodgers
WS - Red Sox / Mets = See you in hell Buckner. Mets in 6.

Did I just pick the Mets to win the World Series. What the fuck?

Idiots

I read an article today about the American League East and how things have changed from a few year back when the Red Sox seemed to be constantly chasing the Yankees for the AL East crown and just couldn't get there. Now, it would appear that the Yankees are the ones chasing the Red Sox for the crown.

The last time I checked, there were three other teams that share the same Opening Day record as the Yankees and the Sox. Another team, however unlikely, could have the stars align for them and win the East. It would seem to me, if you're writing an article about the East, at least acknowledge the existence of the other teams fuckface. It isn't a two team division, no matter what you think.

Oh how I wish for these two teams tank and all the idiot Boston and Yankee writers remember how to go and fuck themselves.

Love in the time of Hysteria

Times have certainly changed. There is enough analysis, anecdote, and prediction floating around these days to please the most devoted fans and most compulsive of gamblers. A lot of people fill their days reiteration the same facts or sucking the interest out of the quaintest of human interest stories. This competition for freshness lends itself to a certain amount of hyperbole, some understandable and some off the deep end.

Marc Topkin's article surely ranks near the giant slide and swinging rope end of the pool, as he stops just short of comparing the DevilJesus Rays' top three starters to the 1966 Dodgers. While this isn't unique to reporters unaccustomed to seeing actual big league players (Rios pounds BP, Jays to reinforce Windows Restaurant), it is clearly way over the top. Pitching staffs with more than 61 cumulative wins mentioned include the A's of the early 00's and shockingly the early 90's Braves. The Fuck? Tom Glavine is likely to go down as the last 300 game winner while Smoltz has 200 wins and 150 saves. Is that all? Perhaps you could compare Scott Kazmir with Steve Carlton? Matt Garza isn't a number three starter on a bad team, he's Bert Blyleven.

Scott Kazmir can pitch, but he reminds of one guy - AJ Burnett. Same plus stuff, same inefficiencies, same unquenchable thirst for Ks at any costs. James Shields? Meet Shaun Marcum. I'm sure you'll have a lot to talk about.

Purported clubhouse leader and caffeine-enthusiast Troy Percival took the story and ran with it, creating the shirt seen below. This clearly unstable man is being hailed a the saviour of the historically awful Rays pen. Surely his year off combined with a year of mop-up in the anemic NL Central makes him more than qualified to send dozens of people home disappointed every night.

Much like the New York Yankees, this sexy pick is going nowhere. Sure, they'll score some runs. That won't change the culture around the team nor will it retire batters or improve a porous defense. Not even the divinity/health of Rocco will guide this team past anyone but the shameful Orioles.

Something to chew on for now: the AL EAST

When all is said and done this season; the often predictable American League East Division may show something a little different, and here is why.

Some early estimates have the idiot Yankees spending around $230 million on salaries this season. Yet somehow George and let's not forget Hank Steinbrenner hilariously botched Joe Torre's contract situation. The Yankees go to spring training with their first new skipper since Torre replaced Buck Showalter after the 1995 season - 10 division titles and 6 pennants ago.

The Yankees have kept busy during the winter by teasing their fans with talk of brining in Twins ace Johan Santana, and by retaining a few veterans whose performance will no doubt go down - Alex Rodriguez, Jorge Posada and Mariano Rivera. Let's not forget though, they also added LaTroy Hawkins to replace the often under-valued Jose Vizcaino and added a backup for Posada in Jose Molina, ooohhhhhh. Despite likely spending more than the Jays, Rays and Orioles all together, the Yankees find themselves without a first basemann as Doug Mientkiewicz and Andy Phillips are both gone. Do you know what that means Yankee fans? It's likely Joe Girardi will have to send out fielding superstar Jason Giambi to make us all laugh and commit costly errors leading to dozens and dozens of runs. In any case, Boston should take the east again without much issue, but don't be surprised if there is a different team sliding in to the wild-card spot in 2008.

Not surprisingly the Red Sox have done even less than the Yankees, which is a good thing. They are still a championship team, with or without the addition of a Johan Santana (I have a sneaking suspicion he'll end up in the NL, but who knows). They held on to Lowell, who had a monster year in 2007 and Curt Schilling, who may not have the stuff he used to, but is still a winner. What really might make you think is that Boston has the second ranked farm system among all MLB teams and were first following the 2005 season. Remember what Dustin Pedroia did last year? Watch what Jacoby Ellsbury does in 2008. They have a multitude of other prospects you'll be hearing about in the next few years. Which could give Theo Epstein other choices rather than picking up Manny's $20 million a season options in 2009 and 2010.

OF COURSE I LIKE, NAY, I LOVE THE BLUE JAYS!!!
They've added what I think are impact players in Scott Rolen and David Eckstein to go along with Vernon Wells who will no doubt 100% rebound from last season. Alex Rios and Aaron Hill are both going to be all-stars this season, and remember where you heard that when it happens. That all being said, it's their rotation that could get them to the promise land this season. If Halladay and Burnett are healthy all season, they should contend. The Jays were 4th in the AL last season with a 4.24 ERA and players like Dustin McGowan, Shawn Marcum and Jesse Litsch should all improve with valuable experience. A healthy BJ Ryan will only boost a bullpen that was solid without him last season. Jeremy Accardo, Casey Janssen and Scott Downs made sure of that. Basically this is a roster of pure manliness.

Believe it or not the Devil Rays are better this year. Matt Garza and Troy Percival will improve the pitching staff. If the Rays use Cliff Floyd as DH, expect him to have a pretty solid season, and they should, unless for some reason Rocco Baldelli proves he can break down even more than he already has (aplogies to the barber for that). Akinori Iwamuru is going to get even better, and possible slide over the 2nd base to allow superstar prospect Evan Longoria a chance to play 3rd. They once again, and for the second year in a row have the first overall pick.

We don't need to talk about the Baltimore Orioles. If they win more than 72 games, I'll eat my hat.

Since the strike shortened season of 1994 I haven't had much hope year to year the Jays would make the playoffs. Sure, I've wanted it, maybe even though that in a couple of those years there was an outside chance. It never really bothered me though as I am a fan of the game first. However, this season is the first time in awhile that I believe they have a realistic shot if the hand plays out the way it should. Which often in professional sports, it doesn't. Put it this way. An injury free Jay team, with their key guys playing to the level they are capable of, means they do indeed have a chance to get into the post-season this season. This is in my opinion only, though I know it is shared by many in the baseball community.