My Mind Remains Blown

Pretty much every day, Scott Rolen has done something awesome. If it isn't a funky, clever slide around a tag (don't sleep on his deft one-handed plate tag seen above. Its slickness belied its degree of difficulty) to a charge-and-throw off balance, Scott Rolen's been everything I ever wanted. And more. It was nice to see him pick up a home run in Philadelphia but, let's be honest, that's not his game anymore. And that's okay.

The GBOAT cries are good fun and all, but let's seriously think for a second: is Scott Rolen the greatest Blue Jay of all time? In terms of his body of work, he's right up there in the conversation.

In terms of position players, he has to be close. Roger Clemens has the best numbers of anyone to don Blue Jays colours. That much is hard to dispute. Roy Halladay could well be the greatest Blue Jay of all time, being a home-grown product and all. Carlos Delgado is a class-act and slugger of some regard, but the only player that competes with Scott Rolen's career is Roberto Alomar.

In many ways, Alomar and Rolen's career's are quite similar. At their peaks they were very different players, though they followed equivalent arcs. Alomar had two more huge years than Rolen, though Scott's 2004 season was insane! 1.007 OPS, 31 home runs, and a whole lot of general awesomeness.

Nearly a 5 win offensive player coupled with his 2 win defense and his ability to play every day made him with 8.8 WAR in 2004!! Remember Albert Pujols was worth 8.9 last year. Rolen had 2 seasons worth more than 7 WAR with at least 2 more seasons with WAR of 5. So yeah, he's good. Just eyeballing and guessing, I'd say Roberto's best season was worth around 7 WAR. I'd say he had 5 or 6 seasons of 4.5-5.5 win ball. Certainly impressive.

When discussing two complete players - offensive numbers aren't enough. Thankfully Baseball Reference supplies advanced defense stats that, while not perfect, will at least fill in for now. Be forewarned: the results are mildly shocking.

It turns out, according to Baseball References Total Fielding Runs Above Average, that Roberto Alomar was Jeter before Jeter. For all the jumping, flipping, turning magic we remember, he wasn't that good. I'm floored. Alomar's best year with the glove was 1998 with the Orioles; worth 11.3 runs above average. For his career at second base, Alomar's value is -29.5 runs above(below?) average! These stats obviously aren't the be all or end all, and Robbie certainly had style. That's got to be worth something.

No matter the system, Scott Rolen's defense stands up. While UZR hasn't shown him the love this year, his past years have been off the charts. How does 130.3 career runs above average grab you? By the swollen balls, I can only assume. Rolen's 2004 season counted 26.5 runs above average, not to mention four other seasons in the teens and two more just under 12. Holy. Shit. The recent talk of best defensive third baseman ever is more than just talk (though Brooks Robinson benefits from playing forever, he had two seasons with more than 30 runs saved above average, though the were during the offensively depressed late sixties. Still, yikes.)

I don't think any of us knew what we were getting when Scott Rolen came to town. What we've got isn't even half of what he was, which really says a lot. What we do have is the consummate professional who altered his game as his body changed, allowing him to make positive contributions to wins and my style-inclined heart. Scott Rolen may have lost too many years to injury to classify as a sure-thing Hall of Famer, he's still a pleasure to watch. We're all very, very lucky. GBOAT!

Something isn't Quite the Same

Going over slot for top Canadian talent? Taking two straight—convincingly—in Texas? Who are these people and what have they done with my Toronto Blue Jays?

On the Pitching

Who knew? It's been great. Casey Janssen made me look quite the fool with his 6 strike outs and damage moderation. He wasn't stupendous, what with all the lines drives, but he was there. Oh those line drives will come back to haunt young Casey one day soon. He's sitting around 30% for the year, a slightly scary number. Just keep it in play Casey.

Brian Tallet is, however, a bat missin' machine. Lots of fly balls yesterday but only one line drive. I like it! The quality of his body of work can't be overstated. No matter how hard the Tao tries, he's still underselling Tallet's unexpected contributions.

Scott Rolen Gives me a Boner and Hit f/x Cometh

Indeed he does. Because, like so many of his Blue Jays friends and teammates, Scott Rolen is a damn line drive machine! 6 hits over the last two nights plus the unreal double play he started Monday night certainly silenced the doubters and engorged my manbits. Those that enjoy the line-driven arts will be excited to hear the Nerd Herd is releasing the first batch of Hit f/x data. The results will shock and/or titillate you. The Hardball Times shows that hitting the ball hard (speed off the bat) is good for business. Shocking. How about the Jays and their average speed of balls off the bat? League average for a non-pitcher is 75.1 mph. courtesy of The Hardball Times

Hitter	Initial Speed (mph)
Aaron Hill	80.1
Adam Lind	78.2
Rod Barajas	77.7
Alex Rios	77.6
Jose Bautista	76.7
Travis Snider	76.5
Scott Rolen	76.4
Lyle Overbay	75.3
Kevin Millar	74.6
Marco Scutaro	74.4
Vernon Wells	72.2

So there you go. Aaron Hill is the ropiest of them all. Not surprising to see most Jays above league average. Equally unsurprising to see old 'rollover groundout/infield pop fly' Vernon bringing up the rear. He'll come around...

On the Draft

As I said during the Furious Five Podcast, I don't pretend to care too much about the draft. Professor Griff nailed my feelings over the forced nature of last night's broadcast (webcast in Canada, fuck you very much.) The evil air of signability hung over the entire proceedings with only passing mention to its control. The Jays drafted a kid from Newmarket, which is pretty fucking awesome. I hope the uniforms at Sacred Heart fuels as much of his deviant behaviour as it did mine. And I didn't even go there! PS. Keep Bud off my TV.

Unfortunate Circumstances

Times that aren't as good: our friend Roberto Suzuki aka /a aka his real name has boarded up his corner of the Jays blogosphere. It's really a shame, I quite enjoyed his intelligent take on all things Blue Jay at Bottom of the Order. He and the Tao are proof you don't have to be a stats-geek to rise above mundane rah rahing and predictable flag waving. Fair thee well, fake named blogging friend. We're worse off without you.

And Then We All Bought Yachts

I don't have much to offer beyond directing you to Jordan Bastian's excellent piece on the defensive wizardry of the Manmountain yesterday. A brief sampling of the fine yeoman's work:

The fans inside the stadium, after being hushed in awe for a few seconds, began cheering loudly and the crowd moved to its feet. Rolen, the old-school player that he is, stood stone-faced and moved back into position for the next batter. He wasn't about to let the reaction inside the Dome break his concentration.

According to the ever-impressive Yankees Replacement Level blog, Rolen's already saved four runs with his glove this year; equal to the 17 run pace (based on 162 games) set by Evan "Universal Slurpjob" Longoria. The RLYWeblog's list features fountain-of-youth Scutaro firmly at the top and silk glove winner Lyle Overbay right alongside Rolen with 17 runs saved over a 162 season. It was my slightly held belief that the Jays defense was slipping slightly this season, but the numbers don't support it. As a unit they rank 7th in UZR and third in defensive efficiency. That the Jays even rank that high in UZR is slightly shocking considering how much the system hates Vernon Wells, though it gives his arm positive marks thus far. Either way, the defense will continue to support the burgeoning pitching staff in delightful ways.

I can't give any shout outs to Scott Rolen without a nod to his apparent nemesis Jeff Blair for his fine job subbing for Bob McCowan on Prime Time Sports yesterday.

On the Sox

They kinda suck. Well they're not playing great baseball. Mostly because of Rocco's struggles. Oh how he's struggled. Some awful numbers including 5.4% walk rate, 37.1% K rate (!!!!) for a BB/K rate of 0.15. Ugh. It adds up to an unsightly .529 OPS. Poor Rocco. You'll come around next week sir. Offensively Jason Bay has carried the Yookless Sox. Defensively he's worse than Manny. Dustin Pedroia is playing well but frankly, he can fuck right off. I'm going to say what every Jays fan knows: Aaron Hill + Green Monster = 50 doubles a year. Aaron Hill's quick swing is BUILT for that ballpark, unfortunately for him and his agent he only plays there as a visitor. Get your necktie Dustin, I'm sure they'll make them in size 6x.

Shut Up about Scott Rolen's Contract

A favorite hobby of The Blue Jays Doom and Gloom Squad seems to be lamenting Scott Rolen's contract. While I fail to see the point of magical rosterbation like this (if they weren't paying him X dollars, they could give it to fuckin MANNY!), I do understand why they complain about Rolen's contract. It's because they're idiots.

According to Cot's Contracts, Scott Rolen is due $11 million dollars per year through 2010. He is owed a $4 million dollar bonus at the end of the deal, which the St Louis Cardinals will graciously pay. While that is a lot of money, it's hardly unreasonable. Especially when you consider the previous third baseman is out for three months and wanted out of town blah blah blah.

Luckily for us, we can break down a player's value very easily thanks to sites like Fangraphs. And in 115 games last year, even after going 0 for July, Scott Rolen was worth just under 3 wins in 2008. Or $13 million bucks on the open market. But JP's an idiot! Some fool went so far to suggest that Jose Bautista @ $2.4M was better than Rolen @ $11M. Why? Because that person is an idiot.

In Bautista's best season (not the one in which he played for 4 teams) was worth 1 win above average. Why? Because he sucks. It's really that simple. Thankfully Parkes of Drunk Jays Fans noted last spring the Jays claimed they would keep both Reed and Shannon Stewart, only to unceremoniously dump Beardy Reed towards the end of camp. Parkes believes that Bautista will get the same treatment, an idea that is sounds great to me. Let him play some during Grapefruit league, see somebody wants to toss a left handed relief pitcher JP's way (you can never have enough!) or just eat the cost of releasing him. A move I wholeheartedly support.

So once again, I am forced to defend Scott Rolen with the same tenacity and skill of Scott Rolen defending the hot corner. Once again, I encourage Rolen haters to take a second to understand how valuable he is, from a baseball AND aesthetic standpoint. Leave my Rolen alone.

Fielding Bible as Worthless as Regular Bible

The Fielding Bible awards were announced today, and despite the Blue Jays being one of the best defensive teams in baseball, they were conspicuously absent from the list of winners. It's tough to argue most names on the list, but I'll place my homer blinders on and do it gladly.

Adrian Beltre and his +32 plus/minus was the third base winner, edging out Evan Longoria(!) according to Geoff Baker. Beltre's RZR wasn't nearly as good as local hero Scott Rolen, but he made an astounding 30 out of zone plays more than Rolen. Watching as many Mariners' games as I did, I observed Beltre charging weak ground balls and bunts nearly as well as Mt. Rolen, which is high praise as far as I'm concerned. Beltre was charged with 15 "errors", 5 throwing versus 10 fielding, similar to Rolen's 2 and 9 split. Numbers like that make sense for rangey guys, the type that will make an error on a ground ball most won't get to, but rarely throw the ball away.

In other words, it is hard to beef with Beltre. Longoria, however, I will contest. In almost identical innings to Rolen, Longroria got to fewer out of zone balls and made plays in his zone at a slightly lesser rate. Longroria started far more double plays, which I suspect is out of a third basemen's hands. Evan also made 4 more throwing errors, as I observed at 9:15 during Game 7 of the ALCS, likely attempting to throw across his body off one leg. A difficult play that perhaps 5 year veteran Evan Longoria chooses to eat rather than heave. The kid can play, but let's not play his rusty trombone quite yet.

The award for right field went to Ricky Guiterriez of the Cleveland Indians. Guiterriez displayed incredible range this season, getting to more out of zone balls than Alex Rios in fewer innings, all while making nearly 96% of the plays in his zone. Everybody loves Alex Rios, he of the (to paraphrase Jonathon Hale) incredibly long strides (range) to trump his bootybacked routes. One huge advantage for Rios is his arm. Over his career, Guiterriez has never shown to have anything but an average outfield arm, while Rios sports a rocketship powered by superlatives. Franky's arm has rated below league average at holding runners in place and creating outs on the basepaths. Were I to wager, I would assume Alex Rios slept with at least Bill James's daughters and wife. Minimum wife.



Lyle Overbay's long under-appreciated defense continues to lack appreciation and pigment. Overbay had another excellent year defensively, but it still didn't compare to Albert Pujols. Pujols is a freak of nature with the work ethic of a desperate Cape Bretoner, yearning to be free. Most fielding metrics have a hard time with first base and the ambiguity of infield throws in the dirt, and I haven't seen enough of Pujols defensively to make a fair assessment beyond the advantage he has in most basic statistical categories. I will say Albert deserved the award out of fear of him crushing my skull in anger.

Most of the selections make all sorts of sense, though Chutely showed during the World Series that he's all man. Bill James and his apostles fine work is appreciated by novices like me, despite my attempts to split the finest hairs. Luxurious hairs that smell of sweet talking points and numerical intrigue.

Work Sucks - 1238289791837th Edition

Work sure does suck, but the little things get us by. John MacDonald's sublime transfer to throw out Brian Roberts in the 9th inning for example. It made my heart sing and might be the only thing getting me through to Saturday.

• Shaun Marcum being shut down for the year does not make my heart sing. It makes my heart leap into my throat in fact. The Ligament Pimp of Birmingham is on Marcum's case for the second time this year. I'm sure he's a nice guy, but getting to know him probably doesn't reflect well on your health.
• Obviously Scott Rolen's offensive season has been somewhat disappointing. He's been swinging the bat well in September, just like every other month this season save one. That is right, Scott Rolen has posted exactly ONE sub.800 OPS this season. Unfortunately, the one month was so bad it killed his rate stats for the season. It was awful in a crazy, Johnny Mac, .477 OPS way. As the Jays blogger meme dictates I mention; Troy Glaus has posted 3 months of sub .800 OPS (but two full months over .900)
• The Jays are playing the Red Sox AGAIN this weekend. I know Jays morale is a little low right now, and nobody wants to play spoiler, but I really hope the Jays take two of three from the Sox. I'd take great pleasure in seeing the Red Sox have to fly cross-country to face the Angels. Generally, fuck the Sox. Specifically too, if you have a couch people can't see under.

The final weekend series! This sucks. Hopefully I'll make it to Sunday's game, my final one of the year. I'll be Walkoff Walking in the meantime, please check it out. I had some fun last week, even picking on Yankees fans. Who doesn't enjoy that?

Universe Deems My Happiness Impossible

No fucking sooner had Rocco Baldelli made his triumphant return to the field, driving in runs and diving to and fro with a determined ardor, does Scott Rolen head to the DL with further issues in his bionic left shoulder. What is an ironically detached, wins and losses don't matter, try-hard poseur to do? What's next? Brandon League pitching to contact? Alex Rios walking?

I don't ask for much. Some impressive defense, some memorable moments. Guys that make use of as many tools as they can. I'm a bitter and cynical old man, I like very little. In fact I hate almost everything. So leave my favorites alone, will ya!

I can't help to look forward to this series against the far more disappointing Tigers. Can you imagine if the Chicken Little JP haters followed this team instead? Right handed bats only, huge salaries, pitchers that make AJ Burnett look like a model of consistency. Shannon Stewart, meet Jacques Jones. About time to meet up in the dole queue, innit?

Flashback Friday

Nothing says Flashback Friday like Danny fucking Cox. Could it be we're running out of ex-Jays to flashback with at the end of every week? Danny spent three heroic years here in the Big Smoke, winning nine games while losing ten. I'm sure we would have gone all out had he actually been a .500 pitcher during his time here. Sadly, he fell one win short of us rolling out the red carpet. At least he's still rocking the a mean hillbilly dick duster.

What isn't a surprise is Adam Lind continuing to make believers out of the entire city. He picked up two more hits and scored a run tonight, raising his average to .312 (and Slugging % to .531!) in the process.

Sadly, Scott Rolen is still having problems actually seeing the baseball, which is a key part to being a productive hitter at the Major League or any level. Thank Jebus for his ridiculous glove. I hope Lloyd doesn't chastise me too badly for that. Ed. Note: The Greatest Blue Jay of All Time is simple the Greatest Blue Jay Of All Time That Looks Lost at the Plate Right now.

Shit, Seattle is bad. I feel horribly for Ghostrunner mancrush Ichiro being surrounded by a bunch of underachievers...well not too horribly. This collection of clowns are on their way to 100+ losses without a doubt.

Other bright spots tonight is Matt Stairs, who's been long overdue to get his shit together. Much like the Jays bullpen, which has and will no doubt continue to be solid from here on in. 10 games over .500? I say without equivocation most definitely maybe. But what the fuck do I know.

New Wonderland Coaster Dubbed "The Blue Jay"

Extra innings on getaway day is a slap in the face. Using 7 relievers in a game before you get to the Citizen's Bank Homerdome is never a good thing.

Dustin McGowan - Has Wildness, Will Travel

It's hard to complain about 5 innings of 2 hit ball. But 5 walks and a HBP do not a great start make. When does gritting it out turn into sloppiness?

Scott Rolen - Has Immense Balls, Tremendous Mass Makes It Difficult to Travel

Holy fucking Shit. Rocco Who? Is there anything he can't do? I hope the boos this weekend in Philadelphia fire him up even further. The are right to boo in a way. Should the sad day ever present itself and Scott Rolen ceases to be a Blue Jay, I will feel downright ROBBED. As if something valuable has been stolen right out from under my nose. And he's only played 18 games.

Manny Ramirez - Has Charisma, Will Convert

I'm sorry, I just can't do it. I can't hate the goofy bastard. I don't care that he's lazy, or that he kills the Jays. He brings an infectious level of joie-de-vivre to the ballpark. He HIGH-FIVED A FAN in the middle of making a great catch and doubling off a runner. He proceeded to the dugout with a huge grin on his face, and regaled the rest of the team with tales of his hijinks. Amazing. Video courtesy of BallHype.

Alex Rios - Has Loopy Swing, Will Whiff

Is it time to be officially worried that Alex Rios is tied for 6th in the league in strikeouts? That his OPS is barely above .700? What is going on? I can only wonder. Tabliniks said his swing is looking long, but is he just not picking the ball up? He is usually a quick starter, so this rough start doesn't bode well. He did have an RBI today. Conventional Thinking 101 dictates he should "let the ball travel" and "really think about going the other way". Emotionally invested, short-sighted blogger thinking dictates that he should "stop sucking" and "get the dick outta his ass". Hopefully he'll go with the former.

Philadelphia Phillies - Have Lefties, Will Tater

The Jays move on to a weekend set against the Phillies in their super-shrinky ballpark. Their lineup is pretty scary from top-to-bottom, including former Jay shitstick (and nephew of DISCO DICK SCHOFIELD!) Jayson Werth. He's actually putting together a reasonable season, with better numbers away from home. This team full of lefties could give the Jays fits. Enter David Purcey. He'll start tomorrow, bringing his big ol'curveball with him. He struggled to throw strikes in his first start, just getting it near the plate will be enough to entice Ryan Howard to swing.

Awesomeness the World Over

Scott Rolen - As Good As We Expected, Except Better

The Scott Rolen bonerwagon picked up a few more members as the Manmountain hit an insurance home run, made a mind-bending play at third and generally did awesome stuff all day. Rance made the point that after his jack, the entire team seemed to relax, as though each guy realized he didn't have to do it all himself. I think they all realized that Scott Rolen is in fact Jesus, and will teach them to fish and lead them through to desert to Valhalla. Or something.

Shaun Marcum - Where is the ceiling?

Rance Mulliniks fell all over himself tonight offering effusive praise for Shaun Marcum's recent performance. He stated that while some pitchers may have better arms, nobody in the big leagues is a better "pitcher" than the shell-necklaced greaseball. It is hard to argue with the results.

Rick Ankiel to Resume Pitching, Requests Rubber Be Moved to Deep Center

He is an absolute animal. MLB's ironfisted approach to video prevents me from embedding it here, but you can see the freak of nature in action here. He also added a home run, giving him 6 on the year. More than any Blue Jay I will add for no real reason. Update - I cannot stress enough how great these throws are. I just watched them again, and I cannot believe the second throw occurred on our earth with its prevailing gravity.

Getaway Day - What the Starland Vocal Band was really singing about

Despite having the first inning or so preempted by Paul Maurice's scapegoating, Vin Scully came into my house and made my "sick" day much better. An 80 year old man calling a baseball game with NO COLOUR GUY! Simply amazing. He's been working for the Dodgers since 1950, when they were still in Brooklyn! 59 years is too long to live, let alone work for the same company. Wikipedia tells us that he makes in the neighbourhood of $3 million a year, which means that even if he wanted to, he couldn't afford to move back to Brooklyn. He still does an admirable job, and hopefully Jamie Campbell can steal something from his repertoire.

Brad Penny is gigantic, but took labouring to an entire new level this afternoon. I think David Wright is the loneliest guy in the league, for reasons that are my own. The guy that the Mets traded for Johna Santana hit for the cycle today. And that ain't not bad.

Fun with movies that were better when you were in high school

Chasing Amy is on in the background, a movie I thoroughly enjoyed in the halcyon days of my youth. Turns out, it sort of sucks! I say sort of sucks, because even back then, the second half was a dreadful bore of a love story. Sort of like Wedding Crashers, funny first act set pieces give way to mushy time wasting. A fun game to play when watching movies featuring actors who have gone on to much bigger things: "Who's had their teeth fixed?" The answer is "all of them".

Offense is overrated

Just ask him.

I'm going to continue to tell myself that so long as the Jays staff continues to shut opposing teams the hell out. Sure the Jays went 1-7 on their most recent road trip and managed a comedic .093 average with runners in scoring position.

The entire staff has been lights the fuck out recently, and there is no reason to believe that this won't continue. I'm not sure there are many left handed hitters in the league that could get a hit off Jesse Carlson outside of it being an accident.

Sure, there are still no bats and they are still relatively inept in the clutch but even when opposing teams put the ball in play, there are no guarantees. Scott Rolen is a brick wall at third, and I'm quite positive John McDonald gave many fans boners this evening with that play late in the game on the diving miss from Rolen.

A win is a win, whether it's 2-0 or 15-11. I could care less how they get them, and I think we may see more of the former, but as the cliche goes: "Great pitching wins championships." Am I getting ahead of myself? Absolutely, but isn't everyone?

Golly Gee Fellas

Shucks guys, I sure wish I'd caught that ball. I tried and tried, but I just couldn't squeeze it. I know the kindly old man on the radio said the ump was in the way, but if only I'd hung in and ground out that inning ending double play.

And earlier in the game, I gave it all I had, but gosh darn it if my throw didn't make it anywhere close to first base. Maybe they made this diamond bigger here in Kansas City. Lol! Those waterfalls sure are swell though.

I'm really glad to have Scotty back beside me. He's as big as a house! I got so used to piggybacking his defense, I couldn't wait for him to get back. He'll protect me from the other boys' teasing as well. Always trying to rub my weird noggin for luck. AJ was picking on me the most, all month. He kept trying to kick me in the balls, saying I'd turn into 8 squirrels and run off into the forest. Last night, he wasn't teasing though. He just kept staring at me, mouthing the words sock-chucker. He must mean my bad throw in the seventh. I can't say that I blame him. It was pretty pathetic.

Everybody in Toronto really seems to like Mr. McDonald. He's okay, I guess. He spends a lot of time in a rocking chair in front of his locker, staring out at the field. The other day I saw him sharpening a knife with a strange smirk on his face. I wonder what that means? He kept saying "almost time to go to work, almost time to go to work."

I just need to keep on swinging the bat like I can, and everything will be alright in the end. What's that skip? You want to see me in your office? Sure thing, Skip!

Check, Please!

Habsrunner On First

I never really liked baseball anyway. So boring, such a long season. I'm really supposed to invest myself in one hundred and sixty two games? I'm going to steal the Mockingbird's shtick for a second and completely refocus.

Why? ALEX FUCKING KOVALEV is why. If he was any more of a man, I would burn a police car in demonstration of my undying love. I'm digging out the Russ Courtnall jersey from my parent's place tomorrow. There is no stopping them, you made a terrible choice Daniel Briere.

Sleepwalkers in Last

I never really liked baseball anyway. The Toronto Blue Jays are bound and determined to strike me dead. Walks, tantrums, Golden Boy Aaron Hill botching a would-be double play to the tune of 2 runs. The hand ringing is growing loud, but the date is April 24th. I'm not sure what that is supposed to mean, but I just keep telling myself it's April. The 24th. Deeeeeeppp Exhale....whooooooohhhh

Birdkiller on Mouse

I never really liked baseball anyway. The Jesus Rays are quickly pushing me over the edge towards a serene lifestyle of cottaging, MMA, and heavy drug use. Their success can only mean my failure. It isn't as though they are actually good, they simply met the Jays at the optimal time. Despite this man's gloating insistence, the Shitske wagon will crash and burn in spectacular fashion. Going against type, I will give credit to Evan Longoria for being the real deal in every single way possible. He dared the Jays to get him out all week and then dared me to make a cheap, easy Tony Parker joke. We both took a shot to the face like the girl from your high school that decided to move to LA because it was her destiny. Sadly she thought it was fame, and not a stage name, that awaited her.

Lifesaver on Third

I never really liked baseball anyway. Luckily, Scott Rolen loves baseball, charity work and his role as the Omega Man. Scott Rolen (h/t DFJ) will strap on his cape and ride his majestic steed into Kansas City, carrying the hopes and dreams of Blue Jays fans everywhere tight to his bosom. There he will smite offending RISP's, boost meager slugging percentages and re-cure polio.

Druguser in Left

I never really liked baseball anyway. That is completely untrue. I've loved baseball my whole life. And who was my favorite player growing up? Barry Bonds. I have 2 (two) 2 Barry Bonds posters (one Pirates and one Giants) that adorned the walls of my room, two different Pirates hats and a Pirates jersey! I have defended him (no drugs in the world will make you hit .370) and even wrote (drafted) a letter to be sent to Three Rivers Stadium. But I don't think he is the answer for the Blue Jays. Not that I don't want to see him as a Blue Jay, it's just that I don't want to see him as a Blue Jay. It doesn't make sense, but he is 43 years old and public enemy number one. The media attention may just expose the Jays as another underachieving ballclub with a lackluster......

My Boy Vernon

It has been well-established that the Jays were hit with a rash of injuries last season to key personnel, as B.J. Ryan, Lyle Overbay, Reed Johnson and Gustavo Chacin all missed extended periods of time. Roy Halladay, A.J. Burnett and Troy Glaus had shorter stints on the DL while Vernon Wells played hurt much of the year. Even recent addition Scott Rolen arrives with some questions, coming off a season that saw him play only 112 games. While these injuries opened the door for young arms to develop and blossom, it wasn't until (too?) late in the season that Jays saw their lineup at full strength.

So, can Toronto contend with the Sox and the Yankees this season? Obviously this depends on many players bouncing back from injury and performing. The most essential cog in the machine is Vernon Wells. Hampered by a shoulder cyst for a substantial chunk of the season, Wells' production was down in all offensive categories. His OPS was down from .899 to .706, SLG dropped from .542 to .402, HR down from 32 to 16 and RBI down from 106 to 80. His numbers were worse across the board, but I'm an optimist so I will chalk it up to playing hurt.

The Jays have a better team in 2008, and in my opinion a better chance of giving the Red Sox and Yankees a serious run, but without a healthy and performing Wells, those chances are greatly diminished. If we get a 2006 performance out of Wells, a 2004 performance out of Rolen and the rotation does it's thing as I know it will, it could be a fun October in Toronto.

No Glove No Love

Baseball teams are businesses, and all conventions of business apply. If one "thinks outside the box" and shows a positive return, the rest scramble to discard their existing box and get into the new and more fashionable box. The steroid scandal will push the current trend of defensive statistical analysis from the fringes of the statistical community to standard operation procedure for all clubs.

As the preceding paragraph sadly details, defense ain't sexy. Pouring over Zone Ratings, comparing and contrasting the various and sundry evaluation systems, there is only so long you cazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Frankly, it is boring as hell. Interesting, but not sexy. Sexy is Jim Edmonds slowing up and taking bad routes to ensure a "spectacular" diving catch and his salt & pepper mug all over Sportscentre. Sexy awards Derek Jeter multiple Gold Gloves while he is statistically one of the worst shortstops in the league. Sexy is a lie. Making the easy look difficult might get you into the highlight pack, but it doesn't win games. Neither does missing time and losing power because you ruined your back bouncing off the old turf at Busch. True defensive quality brings you out of your seat sometimes, but others it leaves you shaking your head. It has you replaying things in your head thinking "That was a crazy doubleplay to end the game" two days later.

I love defense, it was always my favorite part of playing the game and something I certain appreciate when I'm at the game. In the era of the incredible shrinking slugger, teams are going to look for ways to take runs off the board rather than hoping to bludgeon opponents into submission. I am legitimately excited to watch Scott Rolen play everyday, a brick shithouse sucking up ground balls with impeccable footwork. Even Hey Brah-don League will benefit from Jay's infield defense, which will be amongst the best in the league. Hell, it was the best in the league last year and that was with LurchGlaus. Competent as he may be, he doesn't lead the mind directly to images of Brooks Robinson.

Tit for Tat

Turns out the off season is interminably long; when legitimately big news surfaces in early January it is consumed by the filthy beggars thirsting for such morsels at a frightening speed and with deadly precision. I won't flog this bloodied horse much further.

Scott Rolen has long been a favorite around these parts (somehow I end up with him on my fantasy team every year and sneak him onto my team in whatever video game I'm playing) and is a welcome addition. While some seem content to stomp all over Troy's grave, I'll remember him as a guy that hit home runs, offered to play shortstop for a weekend and adjusted his manboobs with alarming frequency. We're talking "Stieb to the Jock" type stuff here.

Having sent Mark Kotsay on his way to Atlanta in exchange for a six-pack of coke, three foam Tomahawks and a small bowl of simmering racial tension, the Oakland A's have continued their proud tradition of making chicken salad out of chicken shit thin air. Billy Beane has a press conference scheduled for Monday to announce that he's traded their entire starting line-up for the 15 crusty punks that happened to be standing in front of 924 Gilman Street on Friday. Cough syrup and crystal meth for all! Put them down for 85 wins, just to be conservative.


Thanks to the excellent Athletics Nation for picking 20 names out of a bag. Rich Harden is right now inside some mall trying on a Mets hat.