Sunday, January 13, 2008

Tit for Tat

Turns out the off season is interminably long; when legitimately big news surfaces in early January it is consumed by the filthy beggars thirsting for such morsels at a frightening speed and with deadly precision. I won't flog this bloodied horse much further.

Scott Rolen has long been a favorite around these parts (somehow I end up with him on my fantasy team every year and sneak him onto my team in whatever video game I'm playing) and is a welcome addition. While some seem content to stomp all over Troy's grave, I'll remember him as a guy that hit home runs, offered to play shortstop for a weekend and adjusted his manboobs with alarming frequency. We're talking "Stieb to the Jock" type stuff here.

Having sent Mark Kotsay on his way to Atlanta in exchange for a six-pack of coke, three foam Tomahawks and a small bowl of simmering racial tension, the Oakland A's have continued their proud tradition of making chicken salad out of chicken shit thin air. Billy Beane has a press conference scheduled for Monday to announce that he's traded their entire starting line-up for the 15 crusty punks that happened to be standing in front of 924 Gilman Street on Friday. Cough syrup and crystal meth for all! Put them down for 85 wins, just to be conservative.


Thanks to the excellent Athletics Nation for picking 20 names out of a bag. Rich Harden is right now inside some mall trying on a Mets hat.

2 comments:

  1. I came for the baseball talk. I stayed for the Operation Ivy references.

    ReplyDelete

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