Friday, October 2, 2009

I Can't Believe It's Not Butter

Managing this team from this day forward. Clearly a wise tactician and man who has the support of the players, there is no reason for the Citocharade to continue one minute longer. I'm referring, of course, to the Rosenweasel report over mutiny in the Jays clubhouse. Wilner supported the sentiment on-air &mdash if not the strong tone &mdash stating numerous uniformed players approached him over the last week to express their disapproval. For me, this uprising stems from one thing and one thing only: Millar.

Players are no different than you or I, they are generally self-interested only. In a vocation where one man has the power to impact your year-to-year earnings so dramatically, the players see Randy Ruiz perform at high level only to receive more pine time in exchange. They see their boss flagrantly playing favorites and they hate it. They (presumably) see their increasingly negative and bitter manager shit down the throat of a 21 year old kid, a player that manager appears to resent penciling into the lineup everyday due to an order from on high. They see a manager with zero faith in two mid twenties outfielders, to the point that he'd rather put a 37 year old player at third base for the first time in seven years.

They see that shit and they get fed up. Quickly. Just as we in the peanut gallery have been fed up since, well, forever. That they go crawling to the Rosenelf is a shame, but it had to come out some time.

So vote for Butter! He made Marco Scutaro millions of dollars and turned guys Johnny Mac into a local legend. He survived one regime change, no reason he can't stick around through the next one.

Roy Halladay - Self Saboteur

Roy Halladay single handedly killed his trade value this week.

After his perfunctory plunking of The Only Swinging Dick in the Sox lineup Wednesday night, Roy Halladay elevated his status among Blue Jays fans from "legend" to "demigod." I don't think I am overstating it when I say the love-in has reached "epic swoonfest." Combine his three hit mastery of the flaccid minor league bats (and Rocco, who went 1-3), Halladay is now, from a consumer confidence standpoint, utterly untradeable. The streets will run run red with front office blood if the living embodiment of all that is good and mighty and just in the world is shipped out for a crateful of arms.

By the by, as my man Rob Iracane pointed out today as we addressed the Walkoff Walk urinals, we shouldn't discount Halladay's effortless dismissal of the Lesser Sox while we all heap copious praise on Zack Grienke. I'm still firmly in the Zack for Cy camp, but have you SEEN the Twins??? I liveblogged last night's game and let me tell you, they are fucking terrible. Awful. They miss Morneau like Jeter misses his 2006 MVP trophy. That they played playoff baseball with the Tigers this week is a travesty. A travesty! Good thing The Zombie will set it all right by carving up the shitty Twins lineup like Millar at a low rent steakhouse.


  1. Agreed. There's apparently a divide brewing in the management staff as well and I'd be surprised if it wasn't Butter, Arny, and Walton against the Cito crew ... at least, I assume that the guys Cito hand-picked a year ago aren't already ready to stab him in the back.

  2. I have to give you props on the title. And let's add "Citocharade" to the GoF lexicon.

    Doc's not going anywhere. I dream in payrolls of $120 million.

  3. The only thing I got out of this article is that you've rejoined the Randy Ruiz fan club.

    re: Halladay drilling Ortiz

    Everything about it was great and amazing and perfect. The fact that it came from the Blue Jays best player and a legit name in the leauge made it even better. Here's the best pitcher in baseball, who these Red Sox players have all gushed about before, saying, "No, fuck you. I will not put up with your shit."

    And then staring at Ortiz like "what?" Ah! Perfect.

  4. haha ok, I just re-read what i wrote and realized it sounded like an actualy insult... by "got out of" I was joking that I ignored everything else and focused in on the name Ruiz. Not that the article was bad and that was the only point.

  5. I'd rather if Butters focused on doing his magic with the fielders than filling out lineup cards.


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