The venerable Sporting News announced their American League All Star team amidst little fanfare or shits given. The former staple of North American sports fans' bathrooms and place I used to play fantasy sports quickly announced their irrelevance by naming Hideki Matsui as their all-AL Designated Hitter.
An understandable choice, considering Adam Lind merely bested Matsui in home runs, doubles, RBI, runs scored, plate appearances, intentional walks, average, on base, slugging, OPS, wOBA, batting average with RISP, OBI% (rate of runners on base driven in) runs above average, isolated power, leverage-neutral win probability, wins above replacement, VORP, and meters gaily skipped.
Matsui did best Lind in walks, walk rate, K/BB, hat size, porn collected above replacement, games missed due to injury, AARP contributions, bats stared at intently, goldfish tended, sandals worn, panties purchased from vending machines, and games played in front of Sporting News editors.
To be fair the good people of TSN, they DID elect Aaron Hill to the team for second base, which is awesome. Hill lead American League second sackers in a host of categories yet one could argue Hill is less deserving of inclusion than Adam Lind. So you win some and you lose some. Consider this a major win as it prevented weasel-faced ratman Dustin Pedroia from one more second of undeserved attention.