Monday, October 19, 2009

Playoff Thoughts

I remember seeing Demi Moore on Letterman years ago. She was an aging but still hot human then, not a Scientologist cyborg. She mentioned how she and her then-husband Bruce Willis sent out Christmas cards that featured Demi dressed up in some slutty elf costume sitting on Santa's knee. While you and I would consider it odd to send tarted up pictures of ourselves to our friends and family, Hollywood starlets in the middle of losing their looks think nothing of it.

At any rate, when relating this tale to the viewing audience, Moore let slip an awesome quote of Dave's that opened a window into his deviant soul. You see the Willis/Moore's are so famous that they had David Letterman play Santa in their family photos. As Demi Moore sat on Dave's lap, she claims he whispered in her ear "I never thought I'd be this close to movie star ass."

The power of movie star ass should never be understated. Whether or not your consider Kate Hudson a movie star is up for debate. "Skinny girl with notable parentage who made one good movie and now cashes cheques for appearing in as many high-paying romcom commercials as she can before her looks go" ass doesn't have quite the same ring to it, but A Rod owes her huge either way. I'm sure he figured he'd be close to movie star ass growing up, but now that he's living the dream, he can't be stopped.

Apparently movie star ass is good for what ails you, as Alex Rodriquez suddenly morphed into an animal. Or, he returned to his actual level of production in the playoffs. His home run Saturday night was pretty awesome, until you realize how shitty Brian Fuentes is. A truly terrible, terrible 0-2 pitch. One for the ages.

Don't Let Your Hatred of the Yankees Turn You Into an Idiot

As I liveblogged the game on Saturday night; the calls/whines of Yankee conspiracy grew out of control and, if I'm being honest, pretty pathetic. Of all the major sports, baseball would be the most difficult to rig. Especially if you're talking about base umpires. The cries reached a fever pitch during the Erick Aybar phantom tag/neighbourhood play controversy. The video showed, in my mind, Aybar made zero effort to tag the bag.

The complaints that "they always let that go, the Yankees get all the calls" may seem to have some merit, especially if you already see it that way. But let's all admit one thing: if video showed Jeter the same distance from the bag in a similar situation, we'd all be losing our mind crying over how "he didn't touch the base!!!" The neighbourhood play is one thing, petty hand-wringing is another. Just enjoy the playoffs, root for the Angels if you like being lied to, and have a good time. Save your blind Yankee rage for the summer.


  1. At first glance, it really did look like Aybar touched the bag. Thank god for instant replay because the umps made a great call on that play.

    If they didn't show a replay, I might have questioned it, but the multiple angles did confirm that Aybar tap-danced around second base.

  2. It's pretty sad that the Village Voice of all publications had to point this out:

    There's a perception that Alex Rodriguez has finally "turned around" his postseason hitting with three good games. But he's still not in the same league as Reggie Jackson as a postseason hitter, the radio call-in shows keep reminding us.

    If that's your perception, then look at the following comparison:

    Player A: 42 games, 151 at-bats, 40 hits, 7 homers, 19 rbi, .265 batting
    Player B: 42 games, 158 at-bats, 46 hits, 9 homers, 25 rbi, .291 batting

    I'll give you a hint -- Player A likes to collect antique automobiles, Player B is often seen with Kate Hudson. Shock and amaze your friends with those statistics: Player A is Reggie, Player B, A-Rod. Through their first 42 postseason games, A-Rod batted 26 points higher, had hit two more home runs and drove in six more runs than Reggie in his first 42 postseason games.

    What changed everyone's perception was Reggie's 43rd postseason game, Game Six of the 1977 World Series against the Los Angeles Dodgers, when he hit three home runs. No one called him "Mr. October" before that game. Next time, think about this before you start to dump on any player for choking in the postseason. What a difference one game can make.

    The incompetent mainstream baseball media actually made me happy for A-Rod. I don't want to feel that way ever again.

  3. There's nothing quite like good old blind Yankee rage.

    And SP's comment just blew my mind.


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