81 wins, yet you believe they'll only allow 692 runs? That doesn't even seem fair. That's 80 more than they allowed last year. So what if it's still the third lowest total in the league. IT'S STILL ONLY THIRD BEST IN OUR OWN DIVISION. Apparently you haven't heard of a certain reclamation project named Matt fucking Clement!
At least you had the good sense to extend a peace offering to the Jays offense. A tidy 16 run increase, fuck you very much. Only a team on base percentage of .319? Apparently your little adding machine didn't input the prodigious walk totals of Alex Rios, Vernon Wells and Adam Lind, our starting outfield. I don't care if they had fewer walks combined than Carlos Pena, BJ Upton, and Nick Markakis had individually. There's been change of philosophy. Cito makes them chill, you see.
Why can't you be more like Bill James? Kindly old Bill James, all his projections seem to favor the Blue Jays. He sees big things for Vernon Wells, for Travis Snider, and for Adam Lind too!
So screw you PECTOA elves, you were way off last year. (77 wins, are you joking??) I don't need your love or affirmation. You don't play the game with a slide rule nerd. You play it with your heart, and with dirt on your uniform. Grit! Scrapgritastic! [Sniff] Now look what you've done, I've smeared eye black all over my boxer shorts. I hope you're happy, you heartless devil!