
Long-suffering Jays fans everywhere quietly rejoiced over the team's recent 7 game losing skid, ashamedly admitting their relief over the ability to "enjoy the summer" by escaping four months of "apprehensive fingernail chewing"
While the hot start to the season increased interest in the team, unfortunate drawbacks such as the "infusion of douchiness" around the Rogers Centre and "inability to steal a decent seat" caused dismay among loyal fans. Freeing an entire fanbase saddled with 15 years worth of disappointment that long grew "comfortable with their also-ran status" is no small victory in a town full of increasing bitter and nervous individuals.
All Jays fans paid lipservice to the first place standing at the end of May will quietly wishing for a reality check to complain about. The chorus of boos sure to rain down on Vernon Wells, Alex Rios, or anyone else unfortunate enough to
Local radio analyst Mike Wilner noted recent calls place to his post-game show hadn't changed much in tenor, the tone merely resembled grasping at straws rather than the caller grasping at his own inadequacies.
The Jays oddly stacked schedule combined with streaking divisional opponents should allow the Jays to slip out of the race long enough for their now-inevitable 85 win season reach satisfying "moral victory" levels. Smartassed bloggers and other degenerates rejoice over entire winter's worth of bloviating to come!
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Send forth the witticisms from on high