Friday, May 1, 2009

Reality is a Ride on the Bus

A rough go in Kansas City should not distract from one very, very important piece of information: the Toronto Blue Jays are in first place on May 1st! That is, simply, amazing. Did YOU predict that? No, no you did not. Losing 3 of 4 after facing the Royals less-than-imposing lineup may leave a bad taste in your mouth, but it's Friday, it's already May, I noticed the Dome was open yesterday from my perch high atop the Manilla envelope factory that employs me. The Jays ease into their AL East schedule against the predictable Orioles, with none other than Roy Halladay on the hill.

All good things. Good enough to make you forget your book treatment's been turned down for the fourth time. Horseshit! I can't believe nobody wants to read about a team of teenage magicians (conflicted about their powers, of course) teaming with an idealistic lawyer (fresh out of law school, of course) to protect Batman's secret identity from a cabal of adolescent vampires (abstinent, of course) backed by a shadow corporation (conspiratorial, or course) out to silence a cancer-stricken Rabbi who's final sermon will open the minds of people everywhere; exposing the secrets to life-long bliss and interest-free loans. No vision, that must be their problem.

I have one question, one I certainly can't answer: with the Jays in first place on May 1st, is this season officially a success? One month in first is certainly better than zero days, weeks, or months spent out front over the last few years. If the team ends up with 80-odd wins for the fourth year in a row, this season is automatically more successful than the previous years, isn't it? Maybe I'm reaching and hedging like always. But I certainly didn't expect the first month to go so well, and being pleasantly surprised will quiet my complaints, for a little while anyway.


  1. I thought after losing 3/4 from KC, that the Red Sox would have leapfrogged the Blue Jays by now. Thank god their winning streak stopped.

    All in all, a fairly decent April!

  2. April was more than fairly decent; it was straight bitching.

    This team will play meaningful baseball in September. And that's what we've all been longing for.

  3. Wait a second...isn't your proposed book just a point-by-point rip off of Diary Confessions of a Shop-o-Holic Prada Nanny in the City?

    Or maybe we misread something there.

    That's the problem with us. We have so much trouble just slogging through the text that the subtext is always lost on us.


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