A Farewell Note to This City

You may have noticed things moving a little slowly around here this week. I've packed up the Barbershop and moved out of Toronto. Lloyd the Dead-eyed Suburbanite at your service.

This doesn't mean too much as far as GROF is concerned, aside from my new mancave from which to issue my missives.

I'm going to miss the crap out of Toronto, the city I enjoy so much. But I move with zero regrets. I have other stuff to think about aside from my proximity to clover coffee machines and 4am nachos. Not that I won't long for those things, I'll make do like the rest of the slovenly croc wearing mouth-breathers universe outside the 416.

Moving sucks, I'm literally standing in my kitchen without a stick of furniture right now. Moving also sucks because I haven't seen Scott Rolen do anything awesome in two days! TWO! And I know he's been doing awesome stuff. Dammit.

So bring on the Phillies and new challenges and shit. I'll be back after a brief hiatus (two days tops, my blood starts to itch without regular exposure to blogger gamma rays) ready to do what must be done. Later hipster jackasses!

Albino Warlord Wields Awful Axe of Doom

Lots of Lyle Overbay love going around the blogosphere these days. Your boy Eyebeleaf crunches a few numbers in showing Lyle the Love for his excellent (yet unfortunately platooned) season thus far. The Ack came with more respect for Overbay's ability to get on base and remain under-appreciated.

Lyle's getting love for good reason. Overbay's .395 wOBA is among the best for first basemen, just below that of Justin Morneau and Miguel Cabrera. Most encouraging is the return of Lyle's powerstroke. His 16% Home Run/Fly Ball rate is a return to the Overbay Salad Days of 2005/06. Sure, he's patient and that's a good thing. But let's have a little fun here.

THE MAN HITS BOMBS!

Lyle Overbay seems to hit nothing but no doubt bombs to right center field. Hit Tracker Online currently ranks Overbay 13th in average standard distance for his prodigious tater tots. Lyle's been dropping bombs like war monger with oil interests. Check out his Hit Tracker profile, there are links to video of each of his homers this year. I think this is my favorite. The atmosphere inside the Library on Bremner (aka the Rogers Crematorium) allows for the true, sickening crack of the bat to reverberate inside you skull, like Lyle's Viking ancestors laying waste to Newfoundland. Now that is something I can get behind.

My Mind Remains Blown

Pretty much every day, Scott Rolen has done something awesome. If it isn't a funky, clever slide around a tag (don't sleep on his deft one-handed plate tag seen above. Its slickness belied its degree of difficulty) to a charge-and-throw off balance, Scott Rolen's been everything I ever wanted. And more. It was nice to see him pick up a home run in Philadelphia but, let's be honest, that's not his game anymore. And that's okay.

The GBOAT cries are good fun and all, but let's seriously think for a second: is Scott Rolen the greatest Blue Jay of all time? In terms of his body of work, he's right up there in the conversation.

In terms of position players, he has to be close. Roger Clemens has the best numbers of anyone to don Blue Jays colours. That much is hard to dispute. Roy Halladay could well be the greatest Blue Jay of all time, being a home-grown product and all. Carlos Delgado is a class-act and slugger of some regard, but the only player that competes with Scott Rolen's career is Roberto Alomar.

In many ways, Alomar and Rolen's career's are quite similar. At their peaks they were very different players, though they followed equivalent arcs. Alomar had two more huge years than Rolen, though Scott's 2004 season was insane! 1.007 OPS, 31 home runs, and a whole lot of general awesomeness.

Nearly a 5 win offensive player coupled with his 2 win defense and his ability to play every day made him with 8.8 WAR in 2004!! Remember Albert Pujols was worth 8.9 last year. Rolen had 2 seasons worth more than 7 WAR with at least 2 more seasons with WAR of 5. So yeah, he's good. Just eyeballing and guessing, I'd say Roberto's best season was worth around 7 WAR. I'd say he had 5 or 6 seasons of 4.5-5.5 win ball. Certainly impressive.

When discussing two complete players - offensive numbers aren't enough. Thankfully Baseball Reference supplies advanced defense stats that, while not perfect, will at least fill in for now. Be forewarned: the results are mildly shocking.

It turns out, according to Baseball References Total Fielding Runs Above Average, that Roberto Alomar was Jeter before Jeter. For all the jumping, flipping, turning magic we remember, he wasn't that good. I'm floored. Alomar's best year with the glove was 1998 with the Orioles; worth 11.3 runs above average. For his career at second base, Alomar's value is -29.5 runs above(below?) average! These stats obviously aren't the be all or end all, and Robbie certainly had style. That's got to be worth something.

No matter the system, Scott Rolen's defense stands up. While UZR hasn't shown him the love this year, his past years have been off the charts. How does 130.3 career runs above average grab you? By the swollen balls, I can only assume. Rolen's 2004 season counted 26.5 runs above average, not to mention four other seasons in the teens and two more just under 12. Holy. Shit. The recent talk of best defensive third baseman ever is more than just talk (though Brooks Robinson benefits from playing forever, he had two seasons with more than 30 runs saved above average, though the were during the offensively depressed late sixties. Still, yikes.)

I don't think any of us knew what we were getting when Scott Rolen came to town. What we've got isn't even half of what he was, which really says a lot. What we do have is the consummate professional who altered his game as his body changed, allowing him to make positive contributions to wins and my style-inclined heart. Scott Rolen may have lost too many years to injury to classify as a sure-thing Hall of Famer, he's still a pleasure to watch. We're all very, very lucky. GBOAT!

Rhyming and Stealing

Marco Scutaro is bound and determined to make me love him. Holy Shit.

Fancypants Moving Image courtesy of the beloved Fightins and Tug Haines

Everybody's Hurt

Halladay to the DL with a groin injury. Scott Downs to the DL with an inexcusable injury. Inexcusable in that HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO RUN TO FIRST BASE. I know I come off like a ranting Toronto Star commenter, but let's be serious. I have no sympathy. None. Casey Janssen's got something wrong with his surgically repaired shoulder aside from it's inability to throw a baseball past a Major League hitter. All this happens on (IRONY ALERT) the same day Jays trainer George Poullis is named to the All-star team.

Bring on the kids

With Brad Mills on the way to replace Janssen, should we expect to see Brett Cecil take Halladay's turn? Fabio Castro? A shitballer to be named later? Things just got mighty real. Extra real when you consider 8 days rest Frasor, one-trick pony all out of tricks Jesse Carlson and leverage-adverse Brandon League are now holding down the back of the bullpen.

Luckily it Won't Matter Tonight

I've come a long way on Scott Richmond. I love his slider, I love his ability to get right handed hitters out. But he is going to get DESTROYED tonight by the Phils left handed sticks. Chutley, Ryan Howard, Raul, Victorino, even the Ghost of J-Roll is going to feast on maple-glazed Canuck tonight.

Guess Who's Back with the S1W's

While Stoeten of DJF points to Richard Griffin getting it right on Alex Rios and Nick Leyva coming together and dry humping the Jays chances to win until it was bruised and tender, I'd like to give Professor Griff credit for something. EFFUSIVE SCOTT ROLEN PRAISE!!

Scott Rolen is the best defensive third baseman the Jays have ever had and may be one of the best ever in the majors. Brooks Robinson leads the way. Rolen prepares and is as focused as anyone on the team.

Church Dick, church.

Scott Rolen Eats Your Cheesesteak

Good evening Philadelphia. Scott Rolen sends his regards. He'll do it all damn night, too. He's just too damn classy to say it. He doesn't get involved in that sort of banter with the riffraff.

Better things like 2 hits and 2 walks in 6 trips, including the game-winning ribbie. Mmmmmmmm, that's damn fine. What's that? His single to win the game was a bleeder to right field? Son, the only thing bleeding around here is [REDACTED FOR DECENCY. THIS ISN'T SOUTH JERSEY, WE TRY TO KEEP IT ON THE UP AND UP AROUND HERE.]

Can you give us a second Philly? I need to talk to Toronto alone.

Pssst, Hogtown. Watch this series with the Phillies very, very carefully. Scott Rolen hasn't played for the Phillies in SEVEN years, and still they boo. Why?

Because they're sad, bitter, strange little people with odd accents and diabetes. They hate anyone and everyone despite winning the World Series last year. He's their Vince Carter. They just can't let it go.

Learn from their infinte sadness Toronto, don't let it haul you down too. We need to be better Toronto. It's a slippery slope, trust me. They love Matt Stairs too, the similarities are eerie!

So yeah my East Coast friends, congrats on winning the World Series last year. Do take the time to enjoy it. We here in Toronto enjoy the work of your former employees Scott Rolen and Rod Barajas.

I kid the good people of Philadelphia. Read the Fightins every day!

The 2009 Mancrush Allstars

Off-day following an interleague sweep? What better time to distract myself from the Jays onfield struggles with my annual team of mancrushes and guilty pleasures. Take a look at last year's team to learn who lost that loving feeling, or if you'd prefer a macroscopic look at my ambiguous sexuality. I use my own arbitrary selection process when choosing the Mancrush Allstars, their ability to "move the needle" is pretty important. As always: were this team ever to take the field it would unequivocally go 162-0. 162 and OH people.

Catcher: Russell Martin. Though he's struggling this year, Russ Martin stays towards the top half of the middle of my heart. The silent, floating J is a nice if slightly bizarre tribute to his mother. Keeps it real in Montreal, regularly steals bases which--much to my delight--flies freely in the face of conventional wisdom. Bonus points for making 8 starts at third base last year.

First Base: Last year Albert Pujols took first base by default. While he's not a traditional mancrush candidate, his overwhelming brilliance destroys Lyle Overbay's vanilla persona, sadly hidden rifle arm, and recent proclivity for rockets to right center field.

Second Base: Aaron Hill. Let there be no doubt. One of only three players to appear in each and every iteration of the Mancrush Allstars, Hill's hot start might not get him on the real All Star team. Here at the Dude Ranch, we've always got love. His defense? Awesome. His line drives? Plentiful. Tater Tots? Endless. Aaron Hill will justify your love over and again.

Shortstop: Hmmm, the toughest choice on the diamond. I can't get behind Scutaro or Johnny Mac, Khalil Green is out with a frontal lobe, JJ Hardy can't hit and The Riot's a ginger. Despite my defensive leanings, I'm going to have to go with Hanley Ramirez. He's insane. Three straight seasons with wOBA's approaching .400? Shut the fuck up. I shudder to think what the Red Sox lineup would look like with him involved. He gets bonus points because of repeated "let's make Hanley a centerfielder" threats. That isn't a transition many people can make: Hanley could.

Third Base: Scott Rolen. The kids call this one a no-brainer. Go here; watch and appreciate. His barehanded grab and laserbeam to first Sunday versus the Marlins was the catalyst for my firing up the mancrush ship. P.S. Could someone tell me who leads ALL OF BASEBALL in line drive percentage? Whether or not you expect it to fall back to his career level, that's a recipe for good times.


Left Field: With Manny on the shelf with debilitating mental anguish, I'm at a loss as to who can fill the left field slot for the Mancrush Allstars. Well shit, I'll just go ahead and insert myself. Anyone to ever visit this site before knows I'm certainly my own biggest fan. And shit, I hit TWO home runs in hipster softball yesterday. TWO! Without a fence. I've got the pins to prove it!

Center Field: Rocco fucking Baldelli. There was ever a question? His comeback from The Itis is the stuff of legend. He's even starting to play well! The diving catch he made against the Yankees last week put me over the moon and Rocco in paroxysms of paralysis.

Right Field: Ichiro. Lest I be thrown off the Internet forever.

Starting Pitcher: Roy Halladay. Shocking, I know. If anything, he's actually improved over the last few years. The consummate pro, the pitcher's pitcher. The tireless philanthropist (with a small p.) The dogged workhorse. The awesomest awesomer to ever awesome. The Blue Jay (when he re-ups and retires a Canadian citizen.)

Closer: Mariano Rivera. Consider this a legacy vote. Just as Mo's worn down the umpire's resolve and ability to discern where the inside black begins and ends, Rivera's unending excellence has dissolved my ability to hate him solely because he's a Yankee. The grim, alien features. The comical association with Metallica. Congratulations Mariano, you've won me over.

Assorted Staff: The anthem will be performed once again by Zooey Deschanel while the Suicide Girls will lead us all through Ok! Blue Jays! The Hold Steady will play Take Me Out to the Ballgame and a team of snipers will scan the building in search of wave-starters. Oh, and the manager:


Heart not head.

The Ongoing Leverage Aversion of Brandon League

On an 0-2 pitch, mind you. Right down Broadway, if you're new to Pitch f/x.

Brandon League wants you to want him, he really does.

Pitch f/x data courtesy of Brooks Baseball.

Brief Moment of Stylistic Outrage

I understand that David Dellucci used to hit home runs, but come on. His contact rates keep slip sliding away with age while his bad swings are up. In fact, the only time Dellucci did anything of substance were some very dubious years on the Texas Rangers. So let's call this what it is: a stab in the dark. Whatever, I guess left handed bats are good to have.

Which makes Mop Up Duty's post today all the more important. BRING UP BUCK DAMN COATS. He's doing PCL shaped things in Vegas, plays better defense than the existing carcasses and he's AWESOME. He's already amassed 17 steals!

Honestly, what's not to love about Buck Coats? FREE BUCK COATS!

Something isn't Quite the Same

Going over slot for top Canadian talent? Taking two straight—convincingly—in Texas? Who are these people and what have they done with my Toronto Blue Jays?

On the Pitching

Who knew? It's been great. Casey Janssen made me look quite the fool with his 6 strike outs and damage moderation. He wasn't stupendous, what with all the lines drives, but he was there. Oh those line drives will come back to haunt young Casey one day soon. He's sitting around 30% for the year, a slightly scary number. Just keep it in play Casey.

Brian Tallet is, however, a bat missin' machine. Lots of fly balls yesterday but only one line drive. I like it! The quality of his body of work can't be overstated. No matter how hard the Tao tries, he's still underselling Tallet's unexpected contributions.

Scott Rolen Gives me a Boner and Hit f/x Cometh

Indeed he does. Because, like so many of his Blue Jays friends and teammates, Scott Rolen is a damn line drive machine! 6 hits over the last two nights plus the unreal double play he started Monday night certainly silenced the doubters and engorged my manbits. Those that enjoy the line-driven arts will be excited to hear the Nerd Herd is releasing the first batch of Hit f/x data. The results will shock and/or titillate you. The Hardball Times shows that hitting the ball hard (speed off the bat) is good for business. Shocking. How about the Jays and their average speed of balls off the bat? League average for a non-pitcher is 75.1 mph. courtesy of The Hardball Times

Hitter	Initial Speed (mph)
Aaron Hill	80.1
Adam Lind	78.2
Rod Barajas	77.7
Alex Rios	77.6
Jose Bautista	76.7
Travis Snider	76.5
Scott Rolen	76.4
Lyle Overbay	75.3
Kevin Millar	74.6
Marco Scutaro	74.4
Vernon Wells	72.2

So there you go. Aaron Hill is the ropiest of them all. Not surprising to see most Jays above league average. Equally unsurprising to see old 'rollover groundout/infield pop fly' Vernon bringing up the rear. He'll come around...

On the Draft

As I said during the Furious Five Podcast, I don't pretend to care too much about the draft. Professor Griff nailed my feelings over the forced nature of last night's broadcast (webcast in Canada, fuck you very much.) The evil air of signability hung over the entire proceedings with only passing mention to its control. The Jays drafted a kid from Newmarket, which is pretty fucking awesome. I hope the uniforms at Sacred Heart fuels as much of his deviant behaviour as it did mine. And I didn't even go there! PS. Keep Bud off my TV.

Unfortunate Circumstances

Times that aren't as good: our friend Roberto Suzuki aka /a aka his real name has boarded up his corner of the Jays blogosphere. It's really a shame, I quite enjoyed his intelligent take on all things Blue Jay at Bottom of the Order. He and the Tao are proof you don't have to be a stats-geek to rise above mundane rah rahing and predictable flag waving. Fair thee well, fake named blogging friend. We're worse off without you.