Bedlam in Chicago

Everyone loves a tie-breaker.

It's "win or go home" night at U.S. Cellular field in Chicago as the Sox and Twins play a 163rd game to decide who plays the Rays as Central division champs. The Twins were up against it right from the start, losing the pivotal coin-toss that determined who got to host the tie-breaker.

Josh Denks is pitching on three days rest for the first time in his career. He only lasted four innings in his last start so I guess he'll still have something left in the tank. Nick Blackburn gets the call for the Twins, who was less than impressive in his last start against the Sox. So what do we get? Bobby Jenks coming into to close out the game with the Sox leading 1-0. The only run has come off a clutch home run by none other than the ageless Jim Thome.

Why is it A.J. Pierzynski seems to be involved every time there is a big game? Tonight he was involved in what might be the deciding play of the game. He held onto a throw home from Ken Griffey Jr as Michael Cuddyer ran him over attempting to score from 3rd on a shallow fly ball. Had he not held on, the Twins would have taken a 1-0 lead. Pierzynski demanded that Cuddyer see that he held the ball after the big collision, ensuring he takes a 1000-0 lead in the world's biggest douchebag contest.

As the title of the post suggests...it's bedlam in Chicago as Jenks finished off the Twins in the ninth. Time to fly to Florida. The last play of the game was amazing as well.

For the first time in a thousand years, both Chicago teams are in the post-season.

What a game.

Best. Season. Ever.

86 times I sat down and tried to think of dick jokes to accompany a Blue Jays win. 32 times (league high!) I had to think of dicks jokes that could relate to a one run loss. For me, that doesn't describe disappointment, or failure, or anything but a good time.

Did John MacDonald perform feats previously unseen? Yes. Did Scott Rolen boggle the mind? Yup. Was Roy Halladay off his ass from April 'til October? Cy think so. Were there walkoffs? King Dong walkoffs even! Did Jesse Litsch make The Face and convert the skeptical? That he did. As far as I'm concerned, this season was a rousing success. The team won more than they lost; and were a little bit of good luck away from being right in the thick of the pennant chase.

Ah, ever elusive luck. The Jays underperformed their Pythag right from the start and never recovered. They also got unlucky with some flyers they took on cheap free agents. What if Wilkerson and Hinske flip results? For what it's worth, Hinske was coming off a 87 OPS+ season, Wilkerson 104. What if Grant Balfour pitched more like Aramando Benitez instead of Joe Nathan? I don't mean to sound bitter, but those critical of JP should remember found money works both ways. Sometimes you find a dime, sometimes you pick up an ancient doubloon.

On a personal level, this season was more rewarding than any World Series championship. I learned more, laughed more, and argued more about baseball than I ever thought possible. Without the support of everyone that linked, commented, and read; that wouldn't have been possible. I want to thank and offer my sincere appreciation to all the good people that helped make this season a success for me: first and foremost the Reverend, Jesse BoBD and El Leal for their invaluable contributions, visible and otherwise. Rob & Kris for reaching across the aisle and the border, the Drunks, JW & the Southpaw, the incomparable Tao, Hale, Mohawk Chalk, Ian the hunter, the beleafers, 35th Street Andrew and all the good people that keep the databases full and the amazing Blue Jays content fresh, hilarious, and relevant. The Jays blogosphere is the best and most varied in baseball. Period.

Don't think this sappiness is the end of the line, not by a long shot. Ghostrunner on First will still be home to all the baseball detritus you've come to know and tolerate. All winter long! Winter meetings, GM meetings, playdowns, and anything else remotely Blue Jay related. Best season ever! Playoffs!

Let Him Walk

I'm not going to plagiarize all of Jonny Was of The Southpaw's good work regarding A.J. Burnett from earlier this week; I'll simply agree. Aging power pitchers with dubious injury histories are red flag city. Re-upping Burnett to keep him from leaving would be a mistake, the kind of contract albatross that JP has done well to avoid.

Is AJ Burnett the only thing keeping the Jays from winning in 2009? No, he may be the only thing keeping them from true mediocrity, keeping them treading water as a strong team in need of divine intervention to make the final playoff push. 2010 is the year that everyone sees as the best chance for a true run at the postseason. Young Jays come of age while established Jays reach their peaks. The 2010 Blue Jays could certainly benefit from a pitcher like A.J. Burnett, a big name, shutdown stuff-guy with a goofy streak. That describes 2008 Burnett. 31 year old Burnett with both eyes squarely on the last, big contract of his career. 2010 Burnett is a 34 year old power pitcher with a history of injuries, looking at he last two big earning years.

The Jays two year offer is a good bit of business; strike when the iron is hot and the optics are ideal. Except for one thing:

This is why players hire agents!

They need an emotionally distant, oily skinned con-artist ensuring they both get a big payday. Hometown discounts are rarely given, especially to a guy that signed here specifically because he'd have the option to retest the free agent waters.

Just like Johnny did in his post, I will of course state that A.J. is great, pitched well this year and reiterate that he would make next year's team much better. But down the road, the cost wouldn't outweigh the benefit.

Enough buzzkilling, on to bigger and better things

• Who should the Jays pursue if not Burnett? Why Brad Penny of course. If he is bought out, they could offer him a tidy little one year "prove you're healthy and can still compete" deal. He's younger than Burnett but shares a familiarity with Arnsberg. He hasn't been good this year, but was excellent during 2007 and the first half of 2006. If a one year deal is out there, he's a worthy risk.
• Walkoff Walk is blowing up! No one can resist the shrimp video, not even ESPN! Camp Tiger Claw and Rob are in this month's ESPN the Magazine describing their favorite walkoff walks of the year. Check it out and pray for shrimp.
• Rocco Baldelli does not, repeat DOES NOT have muscular dystrophy. An erroneous report claimed he had the much more serious disease. He just has run-of-the-mill mitochondrial myopathy. Overcome Rocco. Overcome.
• I usually deplore this kind of hipster childhood coveting, but this video is far to enjoyable not to share. I watched it with the sound off to avoid any pretentious poisoning.

Outdated, Meaningless Milestone Still Kinda Cool

Wins are still bullshit, and completely out of the pitcher's control, but damned if I didn't get a little amped when Halladay picked up his 20th. In typical Halladay style, he deflected all credit to his teammates, refused to compare this season to 2003 and was generally amazing about the whole thing. I genuinely get embarrassed when he's forced to talk to the media, it is an affront to everything he stands for. Let the man pitch and go the fuck home.

I can't imagine the amount of focus and concentration required to be Roy Halladay. Faced with the inanity of post-game questioning, I'm surprised he doesn't snap more often and start tearing heads from bodies. AJ Burnett is lucky to be alive. You don't sneak up on a wild animal just released from his cage

Last night seemed like a grand old time at the dome. Winning and cheering and waving and what not. The ginger and the giner sitting in the expensive seats yucking it up every time a foul came close. Even good old Cosplay Carson got a slice of camera time. A pretty good note to end the home schedule on; if it really has to end. When is opening day again?

Unfortunately, finishing up against the Orioles on the road is the definition of anticlimactic. The final weekend of the season will find me at Walkoff Walk once again. Today too! One of the headmen is on vacation (in Canada!) so I may just saunter over waste different people's time.

Late Pass Territory - Halladay Suppresses the Urge to Kill by Fishing

I think it's best that Roy Halladay enjoys the serene comforts of fishing. I hope he enjoys the constant sitting and gazing, casting and staring into space. He deserves a break. Though a few well-timed grimaces towards the water and his boat will quickly fill with his day's take.

Yankees Exhaust the Minute Amount of Sentimental Currency I Lent Them

Annnnnddddddddd, we're back. Guess what? I still hate the Yankees with the fire of a thousand hobo stoves burning outside TODITB. They send out the "B" team and the Jays were stupefied. No Rodriquez, no Jeter, no Damon. Phil Hughes flew the Spruce Goose of hype right through the Blue Jays bats. Not even AJ Burnett and his Hammer of Doom could keep the Yankees at bay. Scott Rolen, he of the excellent September, tried as well; it simply wasn't happening.

I don't blame Jesse Carlson for the King Dong he served up, he loaded the bases so a run was likely. He threw 35 pitches last night, his highest total since April. He hit two guys, walked one and somehow the only lefty he retired was actively trying to speed up the process. Maybe the second inning was too much at the end of the season? But injuries, spot starts and Tallet's two innings the night before didn't leave Cito much choice.

Wednesday's With JP - Out with a Whimper

How sad, the final JP call-in of the year. Will the Jays flaccid stretch to end the season weigh heavy on the minds of the Wilner's disciples? I hope so, because I didn't get to see Baroness last night thanks to work responsibilities. My frustrations and hatred for my employment will all be revisited upon the heads of the lowest form of life; people I've never met! Healthy, wealthy, and wise am I.

Historian of the things you already know: If you fellas don't mind, I'm going to prattle on here for a good week, give you AJ's bio and regurgitate some stuff I read in the paper. Ignoring the obvious fact that no human would leave the kind of money AJ will be offered to stay with any company, no matter the circumstances, do you think he'll stay here because he's just figured out his preferred route to work? I know that once I changed jobs and I spent a good four years trying to figure out the quickest rou...

Voodoo Economics: I'm going to offer you a job my friend. Today is your lucky day. Based on your one call, I've decided to offer you a job here with the Toronto Blue Jays at 140% of your current pay. It is much more prestigious and we'll offer you lots of cool stuff as well. Would you accept? What if you current employer asked really nicely? You can start on Monday, I'll schedule the press conference.

JP and Mike chat about AJ's agent and the nature of players going through free agency for a second time. JP says nice things about the agent in a vain attempt to curry favour. No dice, you'll pay JP.

Tendons litter the Rogers Centre Floor: Everybody's hurt! Who's coming to save us all? If the pitching gets worse they'll lose 100 games!

Horatio Hornblower: Mike do you feel a draft? It feels drafty in here, but I like it. I thrive in drafty conditions. Cecil, Mills, others.

JP and Mike then discuss Arenciba taking BP. What a shock, JP says it went swimmingly. He hit balls to all fields, healed the sick and taught BJ Ryan to throw a knuckle ball.

Corporate Synergy Enjoyed by All: Should I sell my Rogers stocks? Where do they rank the Blue Jays? Is signing up for a three year data plan more meaningful than buying season tickets?

JP is in the blond girl's 5: Even I don't know that. They don't tell me anything. One thing I do know, MY5 is a great calling feature that lets you create your own calling circle...

The Longing: Who did you let go that you wish you coulda had?

The Yearning: Ted Lilly only tried to convert himself to a submariner mid-game and fight the manager mid-game once each. He'd be cool to have around.

Mikey mentions keeping Delgado before the money started flowing. My heart broke just a little. He also mentions Aaron Hill being with the team and looking good. My heart can take no more.

Cormac O'Reilly: Since the Famine, me 15 wee'uns and I like to go down the Rogers ground for Two Shilling Tuesday. Little Seany often tunes into the games at night, keeping the 7 children he shares a bed with up until all hours. Me kids love baseball, even more than Gaelic football! They want to know how the players get to the games? We were walking barefoot to Regan's First Communion and we saw a limousine. Were the players inside?

Wacking Day: Everyone loves baseball my spud-eating friend. The players ride their dump trucks powered by orphan tears to each game. On the road, we grease the streets with kitten blood and slide on our knees in Kevlar suits right into the ballpark. It's hard to find a hotel uphill sometimes.

Admitted Fairweather Fan: I read Ghostrunner on First all the time, and agree with the dashing young champion of Cito's cause. Why does he fall in love with guys in set "roles?"

Power Struggle: His job is more secure than mine. He can do whatever he wants.

A Betting Man: JP! I need the inside track! Who's going to win the World Series???? The wolves are literally at my door. My bookie has a wolf like Frodo in Sin City!

Tipster There: SWEEEET CARE-OH-LINE! BAP BAP BAHHHHHHHHH! Bring back NOMAH!

Baseball Insider: Regrets? You've had a few? Best transaction?

Humble JP: I made a deposit at the bank of YOMAMMA last night. Zing!

JP's Blackberry is going off AGAIN! The fuck man?

Guy already planning next year's fantasy draft: Who's on the free agent market?

JP: AJ Burnett. We aren't in the running?

MILB.com's webmaster: I'm already planning 2012's fantasy draft. Who should I keep my eye on for my 40 man roster only team?

J-Jack: We have lots of good young men. They're good. And young! Tolisano sounds awesome. Go here, they know the youth.

WBC! Coming Soon to a Rogers Property Near You! Catch the fever! Buy the ticket!

Justify my love: Lot's of our guys are good. People want them to play on their team. Scott Richmond has a chance to play for Canada. BURN GRIFF. JP BURNED YOU.

Pissed Jeans: OMGJPwhatareyougoingtodoaboutthepitcherseverybodyishurtwhenwilltheycomeback?

Speaks fluent Teenager: We're going to be young.

Wilner throws in a dig about the Chiefs "moving" to Vegas. JP sounds like he threw up on his mic.

The Fence: I bet if I sniffed around on the internet, I could learn about all the wonderful metrics and systems to track defensive efficiency. But fuck it, I'll ask an old school, Ford Festiva with 400 000 miles driving-scout turned GM.

JP Stengal: I'm like a feral animal. ALL INSTINCT. Numbers can't teach me what I can see and touch.

Bob hates BJ: Send him away. Trade a player when his value is lowest for something much more valuable. Do it now!

JP hates BJ also: Never going to happen. He's very large and would inflict grievous bodily harm upon my person.

Imma nail you JP: Why do you hide behind the division you play in? Other teams overcome small budgets to win?

Pwn3d: But, but our division's REALLY hard. The other teams are ALWAYS good. It's not an excuse if I believe it to be fact.

Awww, no JP all winter. That sucks. Now I have to think another shtick to steal. Boo. I'm sure somebody else will think of something, I'll think it's cool and then: PROFIT!

David Eckstein - Master Negotiator

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MLB.com Implores You to Check Your Brain at the Door

Pity the poor scribes under MLB's official employ. While Mr. Bastian and friends enjoy the steady work that Major League Baseball provides, they are often asked to publish not even thinly-veiled press releases for MLB.com "events." Today Jordan was tasked with promoting Vernon Wells as the Blue Jays nominee for the Hank Aaron award. This paragraph is paraphrased on 30 different team sites, all in the top slot of "Headlines" section:

The Aaron Award is presented annually to the best overall offensive performer each league, with each club having a nominee. Fans can vote until Oct. 12 to select the winner in each league. The winners will be announced prior to Game 4 of the World Series on Oct. 26.

I enjoy Vernon's work, and his rate stats give reason for hope. But does anybody think he would be a more deserving winner than say, Carlos Quentin? Josh Hamilton? Not even the most devout Jays fan wearing the darkest blinders could advocate Vernon Wells winning any award over those two mashers.

Poor Jordan didn't even get the worst of it. Can you imagine having to stump for Mike Aviles - Slugger of the Year? What about Lastings Milledge? And I quote:

Since the second half of the 2008 season, Milledge is hitting .299 with seven home runs and 25 RBIs. For the season, Milledge has an outside chance to go 20-20 for the first time in his career.

Milledge already has 23 stolen bases and is six home runs shy of 20 home runs. He would likely have already reached that milestone if he didn't go on the disabled list in late June.

He's but 6 home runs short of 20 for the season. Meaning he has 14. Three fewer than punchline-inducing team leader Vernon Wells. Much like the Tao pointed out in his take on the ridiculous Team MVP debate, this is another waste of people's time. Bastian has been bringing the goods all season with his blog, so it's disappointing to see someone talented forced into writing something he can't possibly believe.

Détente

Watching Yankee Stadium's last stand on Sunday night made me feel...strange. It was a little like hooking up with a strange girl after she's had a few too many drinks. She's wild, aggressive and unexpectedly starts into a filthy talk routine. Not standard-issue filth, she brings the racist smack. She keeps tossing around hateful utterances, calling you a dirty [redacted], telling you she always knew you were just another [redacted]. It's hard not to get caught up in the moment, lose your head in the filth and shout [redacted!] at the ceiling without an ounce of guilt. But you aren't as drunk as she, so your conscious pulls you aside to say "this ain't right." Now your so preoccupied with your moral dilemma that you haven't notice she [redacted] your [redacted, let's just move on.]

The point is this: I enjoyed some of the ceremony. Pointless, overblown, hyperbolic and excessively sentimental all at once; more mythology was heaped upon the legend and myth so carefully built over 85 years. But the ovation for Bernie Williams and the fans barking DER-ECK JEE-TUR like a borough full of seals every time he wandered into their field of vision, it all came from a honest place. I bet most people in attendance had an amazing time. How could they not?

The shrinking core of recent Yankee glory, the core that supplied that entitled fan base the reason for their entitlement, the core that gave them an opportunity to cheer. More fans are going to be priced out in New York, but the "traditions" will remain. There will still be unspeakable acts of violence and the seventh inning performance of "Love it or Leave it" at the New Stadium, but it won't be quite the same. But I can't deny my own jealousy, that those fans had a chance to thank the players that have provided so many of their memories. Lucky for them they'll all have the opportunity to pay for those memories, as Yankee Stadium memorabilia is going to flood the market like the kidneys of recently executed Chinese dissidents.

Mariano Rivera came in just because it was the scripted thing to do, but his appearance in the game was the highlight. Jesse and I had spent time Sunday afternoon at Rogers Centre discussing how secretly easy it is to enjoy Rivera's work. He's been really good for a long time, even if his role is overrated. You have to give it up for a guy that's thrown one pitch for 14 years. We also laughed at his connection to Enter Sandman. What are the chances Mo's heard "his song" all the way through? Do you think he could hum the guitar solo? The Yankees are in Toronto for the next three games, so I am free to hate them once again. The battle for third! I can barely wait.

Rock and Roll Will Never Die

Rocco's in the playoffs and Scott Rolen hit an insurance home run. Sounds like a good day to me.

Unlike Friday, aka the day 2009 died. The offseason is long and will be full of baseless conjecture. I'd much rather focus on what precious little baseball (Blue Jays baseball) I have left to savor. Only a few more examples of Scott Rolen defense, only a few more games to watch Travis Snider and Adam Lind improve. Only a few more chances for Brandon League to do whatever it is that Brandon League does, and only one more chance for AJ Burnett to prove he is the worst fielding pitcher in baseball. And flaky as hell.

Today will be my final live Blue Jays game of the year. Scott Richmond against Dice-K? Ugh. Hopefully Kevin Youkillis doesn't do anything to piss me off. In other words, hopefully Tito gives him the day off.

Work Sucks - 1238289791837th Edition

Work sure does suck, but the little things get us by. John MacDonald's sublime transfer to throw out Brian Roberts in the 9th inning for example. It made my heart sing and might be the only thing getting me through to Saturday.

• Shaun Marcum being shut down for the year does not make my heart sing. It makes my heart leap into my throat in fact. The Ligament Pimp of Birmingham is on Marcum's case for the second time this year. I'm sure he's a nice guy, but getting to know him probably doesn't reflect well on your health.
• Obviously Scott Rolen's offensive season has been somewhat disappointing. He's been swinging the bat well in September, just like every other month this season save one. That is right, Scott Rolen has posted exactly ONE sub.800 OPS this season. Unfortunately, the one month was so bad it killed his rate stats for the season. It was awful in a crazy, Johnny Mac, .477 OPS way. As the Jays blogger meme dictates I mention; Troy Glaus has posted 3 months of sub .800 OPS (but two full months over .900)
• The Jays are playing the Red Sox AGAIN this weekend. I know Jays morale is a little low right now, and nobody wants to play spoiler, but I really hope the Jays take two of three from the Sox. I'd take great pleasure in seeing the Red Sox have to fly cross-country to face the Angels. Generally, fuck the Sox. Specifically too, if you have a couch people can't see under.

The final weekend series! This sucks. Hopefully I'll make it to Sunday's game, my final one of the year. I'll be Walkoff Walking in the meantime, please check it out. I had some fun last week, even picking on Yankees fans. Who doesn't enjoy that?