Monday, March 9, 2009

Ends. Odds.

I understand these photos aren't loading properly. Stupid blogger and their stupid undersized pictures. I'll try to fix it
I'd love to add a few more notes on Saturday's game, alas I made none. As you can see by the photograph below I took a very bloggy approach to reporting on The Tilt In T.O. Rather than "make notes or observations during the game" I "heckled Chipper Jones, drank beer and ate nachos." Rather than "use a professional camera to preserve the moment for posterity", I chose to "snap a couple pix with my camera phone in the last inning, more to test my sobriety than capture the images." Here's my view from the swanky seats the Reverend scored us.


Look at all those people standing. Can you believe it? I sure as shit can't. Both Stoeten and Parkes went over this today, but where the fuck are these people all summer long? In my experience people treat Jays games in one of three ways:
  1. A non-event that happens to take place in a giant, overpriced bar with a huge cover. The kind of people that would visit the Government in search of an authentic Toronto club experience.
  2. A visit made out of duty, generally without much joy. This encompasses both die-hard fans hanging on to their sanity by a thread and day-trippers taking the office seats out for a spin.
  3. Personal guests of the Jamie Campbell Octogenarian Society
The scale of this event is pretty grand, grand enough to bring true baseball fans to Toronto from all over the province. This isn't likely to happen again, no matter how good the Jays get. If they're in first place in September this year, is the Tao going to emerge from his 613 monastery for mid-week games against the White Sox? Not likely. His seat will be filled by an empty suit from Bay Street, spending more time on his Blackberry waiting for the game to end so he can get to Blowfish. Those of us in attendance Saturday should revel in that atmosphere as long as we can. It won't be repeated any time soon, or ever again.

Blue Jays stuff. They're still playing?

Indeed they are, some very well. Lyle Overbay not so much, but Scott Rolen happens to be swinging the bat like a motherfucking riot. I know it's only Spring Training, but that is the beauty of Spring Training! The cherries are still ripening, so you can pick the fresh ones (Brad Mills only gave up two hits!!!11!!) while leaving the rest on the vine to age (two were home runs, Brett Gardner's second of the spring off Cecil the Jays youthful up-and-comers). Jason Lane may just Gabe Gross his way onto this team you say? I'm going to order a blank jersey to be sure he doesn't change numbers when he makes the 25 man roster.

Update: I'm an idiot. Brett Cecil didn't pitch today. Whatever. CHERRIES AND GRAPEFRUITS GO HAND IN HAND


  1. +1 for the Sublime reference.

  2. -100 for me not knowing what they are. Same in the end is the only Sublime song I know or like.

  3. Maybe if we changed the name to the Canada Blue Jays, people would give a shit when attending a game.

  4. I was going to say, I started scouring box scores for Cecil's name and saw nothing. I just figured that Lloyd's infatuation had reached unheard of proportions and was ready to move on...

  5. I made the first comment and forgot to identify myself. The Sublime reference is from What I Got: "I can play the guitar like a motherfucking riot." If it was unintentional, that's cool. Keep the +1.


  6. Ahhhh, yes.

    Correct you are sir, though it's so ubiquitous at this point I can hardly be credited with referencing Sublime when I'm just being vulgar and lazy./

  7. Hey man, if someone wants to put us up for the night in the sort of luxury we've become accustomed to, then yeah, sure, we'll be down there at for a Tuesday night interleague matchup versus the Pirates.


Send forth the witticisms from on high