Jays Face Off Against Mariners, Realize How Much Worse it Could Be

All Uncle Ted needs to do is up the payroll by $20 million. He too, could have a light-hitting catcher making $8 million a year, a first baseman sporting an OPS+ of 84 while being paid $14 million a year, and a bench guy named Willie without an extra-base hit all season. Perhaps the Jays could double what they paid Miguel Batista when he was a Jay to see an ERA+ of 60 up close an personal. How about a DH making $8 million with an on base percentage of .269! Not a misprint, simply a travesty.

This team is terrible. I pity the poor folks at USS Mariner, who run an outstanding operation yet are forced to focus on this mess. At least they have Brendan Morrow; he makes Joba look like Jarrod. JJ Putz isn't long for this world by the looks of this kid.

All Mariners contract information via Cot's Contracts, stats from Baseball Reference. Follow the links to have your spirit broken. No wonder everyone chases the dragon in the Northwest. Here, this will lift your spirits before the M's take 2 of 3 from the Jays.

Not Quite Enough Said

Credit Crunch

Not to step on the Reverend's toes, but to dismiss Jair Jurrjen's performance last night as another shitty outing by the Jays isn't fair. He was outstanding, mixing his pitches and changing speeds really, really well. The Jays hit a few balls hard, but they were generally in the direction of Mark Teixeira's Hoover-like glove. The Portuguese Prince kills the Jays more frequently than he pours chiment; amassing 16 home runs in only 40 games. He plays a mighty fine first base and enjoys sandwiches of his mother's creation. Looks like he hit another today. Bloody hell.

Ça va mal Frenchy?

I was pretty excited to see an old mancrush in the flesh yesterday. Jeff Francouer is an exciting player that is mired in a terrible season. He's been dropped all the way to 7th in the order, and just looks out of sorts at the plate. He did make an excellent catch in the right fielder corner, but wasn't given the opportunity to unleash the cannon. Hopefully on Sunday the Jays will string together a few hits. You go first-to-third over his dead body.

One thing he has in his favour is a fine beard of neglect, continuing a theme among players I "admire". I'm off next week, but I'm moving. So I too, will have the depression beard in no time.

Cito and his lineup = BFF

I'm all for some stability in the lineup, but Cito has resumed his WAMCO ways and set the lineup in stone. Rod Barajas was on fire, then sat 4 straight games. Eckstein was having a good month but clearly Cito and I share more than the feeling that Inglett should hit second. That feeling is a good one though, as Inglett has dropped science, english and all manner of academia since being installed as the #2 hitter. Including today, he's sporting a dead sexy .417/.481/.583 line since starting the game in the on deck circle. It's only a 5 game sample size, but that is insane improvement from that spot in the lineup.

And what of poor Brandon League? He hasn't thrown a pitch since his call up, yet Brian Tallet has pitched mop up in both drubbings of the Reds. Give the man an inning!

Cito shook things up a little today, slotting Barajas and Eckstein back into the lineup, with Barajas providing a home run. I'm sure Eckstein ran to first after drawing a walk. He's so special. He's also been hit by a pitch. That is satisfying on numerous levels.

2008 not 1992

The 1992 team could score.
The 2008 team cannot.

It was nice to jaunt down memory lane prior to the opener between the Jays and Braves tonight. How quickly I was reminded that this year's team is in no way, shape or form like the team from 1992. I was also reminded that Devon White's catch was one of the greatest things in the history of the entire universe.

Three fucking hits. Enough said.

Why Waste Time Learning When Ignorance Is Instantaneous

Ever feel like the world is an alright place? As though 99% of people aren't profoundly stupid and reactionary? Spend some time over at Mike Wilner's blog, where the dumbest guy in your office/ICU unit/fingerpainting monkey guild will tell a professional analyst, who watches EVERY SINGLE GAME up close and personally, that he is wrong.

Sometimes they come armed with misinformed stats, but usually it is the "he's overrated because I saw him hit into a double play tonight, and I'm mad so trade him right fucking now!" My favorite part of any comment involves the words "We are paying him X dollars." Sadly, you don't pay shit. You don't pay to watch the games, you don't pay for the radio broadcast, you don't pay to read the blog that you take the time to shit all over each and ever day. You buy a ticket once or twice a year and that is it. Take your free entertainment, have the grown up explain what is going on, and shut up. Have some fun with it, it's fucking baseball.

Wilner isn't a Joe Morgan or Steve Phillips type clueless figurehead, trotted out in front of the public because of their name value. He knows his shit, and the evidence he presents is logical. Yesterday, Overbay was the target of scorn. Wilner presented the argument as "he isn't nearly as bad as you people are suggesting." He isn't saying Overbay is Barry Bonds or David Ortiz, simply that his season, while not Hall of Fame-worthy, hasn't been terrible. Nor is he the cause of the Blue Jays struggles. But "fans" are frustrated and need someone to blame for their deadend job, mounting debt and ugly wife the struggles of their beloved baseball team.

Update - Untapped Resources of Moronic Behavior Discovered

Wilner's commenters are the Dystopian Fiction Book Club to the Severe Brain Injured Support Group found commenting on Sportsnet's blogs. While the posts are as bland and inoffensive as you'd imagine, the comments left alternate between blissfully unaware or horrifically unfunny. Not for the faint of heart. Jamie Campbell's latest entry is white enough to be see-through, but only in the comments can you see someone refer to Darren Fletcher as "Fetcher" only to add "yes misspelled on purpose for comic relief". I'm embarrassed to be a human right now. I bet ElCarnal really got a kick out of The Love Guru.

In other news
Rocco has a beard. It's awesome. Other Rays have grown beards to show support for Rocco. They are also awesome. If only they played in another division...

Gene Tenace Elected to Baseball Hall of Fame

In an unprecedented move, the Baseball Writers of America have voted unanimously to elect Fiore Gino Tennaci to the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York. The writers agreed to waive the five year waiting period because of Tenace's incredible contributions to both the game and the world at large. Induction ceremonies at to be held in between the fourth and fifth successive home runs the Blue Jays are due to hit against perennial Cy Young candidate Aaron Harang.

The vote went through during the second inning of last night's game.The carnage left behind after the offensive explosion (or eruption) totaled three home runs, 22 hits and 14 runs. All of this after the Jays bats savaged the Pirates like so much syphilis scurvy; adding 2 more home runs and 8 runs total.

Tenace took over as the hitting coach for one of the worst offensive teams in all of baseball. Literally ALL of baseball. The Toronto Blue Jays had fallen behind Gary Carter's Orange County Flyers in total bases, extra base hits and number of guys moonlighting at the local deli. Tenace's arrival signed a fresh start for the moribund Jays, and a two day transitional period was all it took for Tenace's revolutionary methods to take effect.

Tenace is being elected as both a builder and manager. His earth-shattering philosophy of "see ball, hit ball" has been the tipping point of the Blue Jays season. After only 4 games, the former catcher has not only undone the harmful effects of an unqualified, barely literate witch doctor but also set a potential triple crown winner's career back on course.

Eruption

No joke! The Jays pounded out 22 hits (7 for extra bases) in Cito Gaston's return to Toronto, making a complete mockery of Bronson Arroyo in the process. They sent the entire lineup to the plate in both the first and the second innings. Fuck'd if I know the last time that happened, but it wasn't this year.

Every starter had at least one hit, and A.J. Burnett "the good" showed up, throwing eight strong and striking out seven; while only allowing the one earned run. Maybe all the guy needs is a little run support? One can only hope. Don't expect the Jays to rack up 20 plus hits a game, but tonight's effort certainly has John Gibbons scratching his head somewhere.

In other news, it's likely Shaun Marcum is going to be out until the All-Star break. The schedule may allow the Jays to go with a four man rotation, or they could recall John Parrish from Syracuse to make a few spot starts. He's been lights the fuck out this season. Also, Aaron Hill is taking a two week leave from the club as his post-concussion struggles continue. It's not often a ball player is sidelined with a concussion but Hill seems to have gotten a raw deal here with the trouble he's had. I hope David Eckstein feels like shit.

Tomorrow Starts Today - Opening Day Redux

Today is the first day of the rest of your life Adam Lind

Cito Gaston, heeding the sage advice of every Jay-watcher this year, has pledged to play Adam Lind pretty much every day. After his 12 pitch battle-come-dinger into orbit, all signs point to him "getting it" this time around. And by signs, I of course mean hope. He isn't going to solve the punchless Jays problems alone, but getting league-average or better production out of left field is certainly a start.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life Joe Inglett

How does starting second baseman for a month sound? How does number 2 hitter sound? Joe Inglett reminds me a lot of Mark DeRosa, and I mean that in a complimentary way. His bat and versatility should keep him in the big leagues, but lack of a "true position" may hold him back. As I said before, he's earned himself some more playing time.

Cito has said he's going to hit Overbay either 2nd or 5th, so here's hoping both players make his mind up for him. If each man makes the contribution they are capable of (no small feat this year), I like Overbay 5th and the Doctor 2nd.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life Adam Dunn

Perhaps not. After responding to JP's comments in the calm and calculated manner of a man lacking passion, Adam Dunn makes his first visit to Twoonieland. The Tao send him a big, sloppy kiss with mending fences in mind. Sadly, I can't see Uncle Ted cutting a big enough check to Git'r Dunn. If only there was a sudden infusion of cash that Rogers could count on in the coming weeks...

Today is the first day of the rest of your life Joey Votto

Not really, today is simply the first day you will be bombarded by "hometown boy makes good" questions from local hacks desperate for a lazy angle this week. Joey Votto is clearly a stud, going off like a cannon to the tune of 7-12 with a home run at Yankee Stadium. Of course the Jays could use that kind of pop in their lineup. Of course he'd love to come home and play for the Jays. Of course it won't happen until 3 years too late.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life Cito Gaston

Jeff Blair said it on Sunday; but now that Cito and the Jays are at home, with a day off to collect themselves, we will get a real sense this club's direction. Looks like Inglett is hitting second once again! Scutaro is leading off, Lind ninth?!? If you insist Cito. Go on with your bad self. Eckstein now feels the same way about Cito as I do about Eckstein. No one could ever accuse him of not making his mark on the team. With a few weeks to go before the All Star break, Cito does still have time to rejuvenate this team. Is this what hope smells like?

The Denbo regression

Gene Tenace is back and Matt Stairs evidently isn't going to miss ex-hitting coach Gary Denbo that much. According to Stairs, Denbo didn't suit his style. Stairs goes on to mention he doesn't believe he's the only Jay who regressed during Denbo's tenure; adding Denbo's approach most likely contributed to the Jays home-run drought this season. Who fucking hired this guy? Who wouldn't want a hitting coach that sucks the life out of the teams bats? The Jays enter tonight's game with 51 home runs as a team, 43 less than they had at this point last season. Sounds like the Denbo approach was about being a pussy, whereas the Tenace approach is centered on aggressiveness. One only needs to look at the decline in output from someone such as Alex Rios to see that Stairs may very well have a point.

These guys have had success at the dish before and there is no reason they can't again. We've all seen it, and continue to scratch our heads as to why they just can't get it done. Maybe this is the first step in a progression back to confident and productive hitters.

More on this over at the Mockingbird and at baseball digest daily.

Four, Five & Six

Shut the fuck up. Six runs driven in by the four, five and six spot today? That's about the kind of production you'd almost EXPECT from the heart of the order. After managing just three runs in the first couple of games the bats came alive today in an 8-5 victory over the Pirates. Vernon Wells, Lyle Overbay and Scott Rolen each drove in a pair of runs, while the OPS Express fresh up from the farm hit his first big fly of the season, a trend that hopefully continues.

Joe Inglett hitting out of the two hole was a solid 3 for 4 with a run scored. Somewhere Lloyd is overjoyed and will be ecstatic as soon as Brandon League sees some action in the days to come.

Cito Gaston finally got to enjoy his first win as Jays skipper since piloting the Jays to a 3-0 win over the Yankees September 19th 1997. The victory also ensured the Jays didn't come back home from a road trip that could have seen them go 0-6 without the win today. Something that's only happened twice in team history.

Talk about timing

In the midst of playing some pretty poor baseball the past few weeks, the bad news continued as Shaun Marcum has been placed on the 15 day DL.

The Jays are calling it an elbow strain after a visit with a specialist. Evidently Marcum had been receiving treatment however decided on the move after the discomfort continued. Marcum's 2.65 ERA is second in the American league and he's been one of the better stories for the team in 2008.

This made room for Adam Lind who was recalled. He's been great down in AAA but the exact opposite when playing with the big club. Let's hope he finally gets it right, though he really couldn't be much worse than the rest of the offense at this point.

Aaron Hill continues to be plagued by post-concussion symptoms which is expected to keep him away from the park for some time to come.

When shit is bad, it's just bad. At least it appears everything is okay with the Doc, because if it hadn't been they might has well of mailed it in.

And the villagers rejoice Jays DFA Kevin "oh THAT'S why he was unemployed" Mench and recall BRANDON LEAGUE. Holy shit. The future is now.