Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Feats of Strength

Last season baseball fans were lucky enough to witness a huge number of major individual milestones achieved by a variety of players. 756, 3000, Thome, Glavine. Some of the biggest names reached some of the biggest numbers. Even our own Big Hurt celebrated his 500th laborious trudge around the bases. The prospects for this year...not so much with the glamour. Unless you are excited to celebrate Scott Spiezio's 1000th career hit or Greg Zaun's 200th career double (Double up on your ham and eggs to commemorate this two-bagging milestone! No time for dental floss! More celebreakfast for all!) you'll have to dig a little deeper to find interesting Blue Jay career milestones.

Congratulations will be in order for AJ Burnett as he inevitably passes Mike Hampton for 13th place all-time on the most DL trips list.

Russ Adams is looking to pass Huck Flener for most miles racked up on I95 between Niagara Falls and Syracuse in a "career".

Vernon Wells has the opportunity for two milestones in 2008. His career expletives shouted having just missed a hanger should surpass 1000 this summer and Joe Carter's club record for most times feebly waving at third strike sliders in the dirt should fall.

David Eckstein must be proud to be closing in on Craig Counsell's career marks for smallest hat size and most jerseys stolen from the children's section.

Aaron Hill hopes to build on his strong finish to last season. Seriously, he had TWENTY hits in his last ten games. No joke, he's great.

Many bloggers and columnists are bullish on the starting rotation this year, believing it to be poised for greatness on numerous fronts. Shaun Marcum is clearly threatening Esteban Loiza's consecutive days without a shower record while potential 5th starter Gustavo Chacin is approaching Julian Tavarez's career mark for most Goonies DVD's signed. Staff stalwart Roy Halladay is bearing down on a long established record: Bob Gibson's 3268 iterations of the cut/evil/stink-eye.

Longtime Blue Jay baiter and paragon of virtue Alex Rodriquez, while not a Jay, is also on the cusp of noteworthy accomplishment. If he maintains his current pace he could murder his 500th puppy, shove his 250th old lady in the street, and burn down his fortieth orphanage all in 2008. Time to earn that big extension Alex!

Thanks to The Competitive for the image.


  1. So much funny! Poor Ecks, tho'. He's doing the best with what god gave him. And that A-Rod photo? Gold. Pure pink gold.

  2. "'Another triumph!'
    -Jon Lovitz as Marge's art teacher"



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