Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Know Your Enemy

Given the glut of information presented by the interwebs, we Jays fans can easily keep tabs on the wheelings and dealings of the vile pink hat producers to the south.

Heavily circulated rag the New York Post is reporting that histrionic wunderkind and gnat-beacon Joba Chamberlain will go the way of the Papelboner and start the season in the bullpen. Much like the easily-amped Boston stopper, Joba displayed unhittable stuff right from the embryonic stages of his Major League career. The team went to great lengths to protect his virginal arm, enacting the "Joba Rules" to prevent notorious slave driver Joe Torre from grinding his tender ligaments into a fine paste.

But much like Red Sox of their closer Papelbon, the Yankees feel he is too valuable in the setup role and will hold off until mid-season before unleashing Joba on unsuspecting interleague opponents. The big-spending Yanks will then be heading into the stretch run with a rotation of kids, and god-willing, a heaping spoonful of poetic justice.

Insert obligatory picture of the gold bikini......now

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