Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Junior Hockey Is Child Pornography

I heard a whisper blowing through the Hale Force Winds today, that exactly zero Blue Jays games will grace the domestic airways this week. The Memorial Cup has taken over Sportsnet, going so far as forcing former clubbie and shaving cream bukkake enthusiast Sam Consentino to break down the talents of 18 year old future alcoholics.

Junior hockey in Canada makes college football look like a Sunday church league. There isn't even the illusion of education, just straight up exploitation. The London Knights area seats 10 000 people. The players make in the neighhbourhood of $400 a week. Unless you are 13 years old, there is no good reason to watch, follow, or support junior hockey. There is certainly no reason to watch it on TV.

So our Jays are marginalized once again. And who's to blame? Gary Bettman, of course! Were the 2004 season not canceled, Sportsnet wouldn't have promoted the Memorial Cup so heavily. Our hockey-mad compatriots turned up in record numbers, and a cash cow grew to national network level. Apparently MLB.TV is a washout as well, so game channel or Jerry and Alan will see you through the night.

Note: Apologies to Neate and everyone at Out of Left Field, who do an excellent job covering the CHL. By no means are they peddlers of child pornography or smut of any kind. Aside from CIS sports. That just leaves me feeling dirty.


  1. What self-respecting baseball fan doesn't have MLB Extra Innings?

    It will be the LAA broadcast crew but moving pictures beats gameday + Jerry Howarth 10 times out of 10.

  2. The impoverished baseball fan doesn't have Extra innings. This year anyway...

  3. If you have Rogers cable, the game is on ch 399, JaysVision.

  4. Howarth and Ashby are seriously, honestly, better than TV. You don't need TV. You can move around. You miss nothing. It's great.

  5. You mean I could have watched the L.A. broadcast on 399 instead of junior hockey? Damnit.

  6. There's always a dark side to any sport which is big business because the players are not paid (NCAA football/basketball, Olympic gymnastics, Little League World Series, and so on). Is major junior hockey worse than NCAA football? That's a hard case to make. The players are required to be attending school or working and the teams are private businesses or community-owned, so it isn't using the education system.

    At least I'm not a purveyor of child pornography. That's a load off.

  7. I was pissed off at the MC for taking 4 Jays games off the airways, then I saw the lowlites of the game and I envisioned the anger I would have had during innings 7-9.

    I was glad I missed the game, but still miffed that kids playing hockey had fucked me out of a whole week of Jays games.

    Ol' C

  8. Am I wrong to think women's NCAA fastball is the second most watchable sport on earth? At least they're Barely Legal.


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