Thursday, May 29, 2008

Jays Lefty Mashers Mash A's Lefty

As I stated during DJF's jovial live blog: Jesse Litsch has a 16 inning scoreless streak, the Blue Jays scored a dozen AND totaled 7 extra base hits, with a home run among them! I'll begin hoarding canned goods and bottled water. Note: The Jays moved to an absurd 14-1 in day games, meaning the team and I will be allies during the zombie apocalypse. Together we will take back the night and feast on the molting flesh of the undead.

Aaron Hill had a Gary Carter hat trick with a hit, a walk and a teammate's elbow to the face. The Hustling Weasel David Eckstein grittily ran over Hill in dogged pursuit of a lazy popup in a 10-0 game. Perhaps Davey is sensing that he is slipping into the Mariana Trench end of the SS depth chart. Lefty Masher Kevin Mench added a cool 60 points to his average and hit is first extra base hit of the year. Lefty Month of May Masher Rod Barajas contributed three doubles(!) while catching both ends of the dreaded "night game before a day game" kneecap softener. Scott Rolen came out after the 7th inning to bask in his own magnificence. I encourage you to do the same.

A quick note to those considering giving the Jays up for dead. This is the type of team the Blue Jays can be. In fact, this is the kind of team the Jays are. Jesse Litsch will give up runs, and eventually, (gasp) lose games. But their pitching staff from top to bottom is the TRUTH. They won't score 12 every night, or knock 7 extra-base hits, but they can expect production and offense from 1-9 on any given night. They managed all this with one of their "best" hitters going 0-6 and the other playing WiiFit with his hyperactive kids. This is a team that NOBODY will want to play. One with a great deal of meaningful baseball in the not-so-distant future.


  1. Why the hell was Eck treading into 2nd base territory at full speed when the jays were up 10,000 to 0?

    zombie apocalypse sounds fun., round and efficient is mine. The Tao just likes it.

  2. I will redirect the credit where it it's due.


Send forth the witticisms from on high