Saturday, May 31, 2008

Sputtering, Punchless Jays Replaced By Unstoppable Baseball Juggernaut

My other favorite Juggernaut.

The previously-redhot-but-now-cursed Jays continue to beat anyone put before them like a gypsy prize fighter, but are in tough today against part-time chef John Lackey. Lackey's the first legit top-line starter they've seen since they faced, uh, John Lackey eleven days ago. And no, Rich Harden doesn't count yet. The Toronto Blue Juggernaut has scored more runs in the last two days than they did between April 21 and April 30th. That doesn't mean anything, but they do have 5 guys OPSing over 800 in the last month. Even David Eckstein has been impossible to get out this month, though I still hate him all the same. Last night's game was so much of a laugher that I turned it off and read Lawrence Ritter played Halo. I saw Armando Benitez strike out the side, and knew I was safe to frag into the night.

Am I alone in fearing the Benitez Era? He's been effective thus far, only giving up 2 runs and walking just 2 in his 4 innings since the joining the team. Effective doesn't mean trustworthy though, and I want nothing to do with that round man pitching in high leverage situations. Shawn Camp and Jason Frasor don't make me feel any better, but that is all the right handed help there is for now. Oh Brandon League, why can't you put down that sippy cup and realize your destiny. 4.8-1 groundout/flyout ratios are DESTINY. 2 walks in May is DESTINY. Promise Gibby you'll behave and he may let you play with his ball again one day.

More Fun The World Over
Adam Lind hasn't played in a week, Russ Adams has 7 home runs and has been starting in the outfield. SuperMegaHypeMachineFuel Jay Bruce is 8-14 with an OPS of 1.47 in his big league career thus far, and is 2 for 3 today. Update!! Why the fuck not? Jay Bruce decided to hit a game-winning home run in the bottom of the 10th inning. Jesus. Insert piling on Ricky Romero comment here. (A piling on comment such as Jay Bruce's signing bonus was $1 million less than Romero's. I promise, I'll leave him alone now.) David Beckham has been named England's captain for tomorrow's friendly against T&T, an act of kindness that should repay 100 years of colonial rule. More importantly, Dean Ashton may earn his first cap. Oh, and Lost is awesome.

Update - I should really read Wilner before I post stuff, as he too refers to the Jays as a juggernaut, and even references Advil. It would seem that I'm a thieving hack.


  1. I for one hope the Benitez era never makes it off the ground.

  2. Do you ever wonder what the guys from TAR are doing now? If they were 10% less drunk and 20% less lazy, they might've cracked my top 15 most favouritest bands of the 90s.

    Benitez is trade fodder, pure and simple. Someone desperate just might bite now that's he's practically free.



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