Thursday, March 27, 2008

Mound Meeting

ROY! ROY! ROY! ROY! ROY! If Casey can't play all year, and JP said he'd let Satan himself pitch before Gus, that means I get to play?? For real play? In Canada and everything? Right? Right? Roy, c'mon!!!

Roy Halladay: I reckon so.

Litsch: Can you teach me to start like you?? Do you think I should pitch to contact too Roy? Do ya??? I wanna pitch just like you Roy. You said I could do it, Roy! I came and watched you all winter long!

Halladay: What I said the other day, you looking like me, that ain't true. I'm just a fella now. I ain't no different than anyone else no more.


Halladay: Fine. Don't you try and pitch to contact, for the love of god don't. You gotta think about pitching like a war. You need to go in there and just kill 'em.

Litsch: Yeah, well, Uncle Brad says you was the meanest goddamn son-of-a-bitch alive, and if I ever wanted a partner for a killin', you were the worst one. Meaning the best, on account as your's as cold as the snow.

Halladay: Brad said that, did he?

Litsch: Yeah, yeah he did. I'm a damn killer myself. 'Cept, uh, I ain't killed as many as you because of my youth.

[Halladay takes Litsch under his wing, teaches him the way of the gun. Litsch responds with tremendous spring.]

Litsch (blows away Phillies): I ain't never killed no one before that, Roy.

Halladay: Well, you sure killed the hell outta that guy

Litsch: That was the first one... first one I ever killed. You know how I said I killed for five innings before? It weren't true. That Dominican that sat on my changeup, I just got him to fly out to deep center with a hanger. I didn't kill him or nothing, neither.

Halladay: It's a hell of a thing, killing a man. Take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have.

Litsch: But they're on the other team. I guess they had it coming.

Halladay: We've all got it coming kid.

The Cold, Dead Eyes of a Killer

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