Thursday, March 13, 2008

Idea - Stick to the Osborne...I mean Oscar's

In what must seem shocking to most people, Billy Crystal struck out in his lone at bat today in the Grapefruit league game between the Yankees and Pirates. Dawning a Yankees jersey with the number 60, which is how old he turns on Friday, Crystal did actually manage to make contact with the second of six pitches he saw from Pirates hurler Pat Maholm. Crystal inked a one-day contract with the Yankees a couple days ago with approval from Bud Selig. He led off the bottom half of the first slotted in the lineup as the DH. For some reason he received a standing ovation from the idiotstick fans at Legends field. Crystal actually worked the count to 3-1 before Maholm probably decided to bring the MLB shit refusing to be knowns as the clown who couldn't get Billy Fucking Crystal out. Johnny Damon batted for him in the third bringing an resounding end to Crystal's stellar MLB career. Believe it or not, this whole fiasco was set into motion by none other than Derek Jeter while the two were vacationing in Costa Rica during the off-season. I suppose you could call it a publicity stunt, though I can't imagine what Crystal needs publicity for? I believe the last good movie the guy was in was back in around 1991. I'm pretty sure most you have one of them on VHS or something.

Bottom line is that the New York Yankees are idiots, and this proves it. Maybe the Lakers are thinking about putting Jack Nicholson on the the floor at the three spot in an upcoming game...


  1. Remember when the Jays let Tom Verducci come to their camp. Equally gay.

  2. Did Jeets, with his weakness for Hollywood stars, ask Billy out?

  3. Luckily, Billy Crystal knows that you can't get herpes twice.


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