Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Nobody Knows My Sorrow

The inevitable has happened. The writing is on the wall. Rocco Baldelli is going on the DL (indefinitely) and looks to be done. Finished. And the circumstances couldn't be crappier. No freak collision, no wear-and-tear breakdown. No no, those are too run of the mill for poor, unfortunate Rocco. He won't go down with anything normal, it takes a rare and freakish condition involving "metabolic and/or mitochondrial abnormalities."

Seriously? This is sad and depressing. Mitochondrial abnormalites???? Should I be on the lookout for Resident Evil 11: Rocco's Revenge? My brain is clearly going to mush, and sadness is taking over. Watch this space in the coming weeks for tonnes of bad emoetry and numerous Lydia from Beetlejuice quotes. Sigh.

All joking mancrushes aside, this is really too bad. As Rays' manager Joe Maddon says in the article: you're talking about a gifted athlete right here. A 26 year old that has been groomed for one thing his entire life, and now because his body has decided not produce enough ATP, his career may be over.

While Rocco may not have signed a DNR quite yet, those of us that love him know when the time has come to pull the plug. You know how we truly feel Rocco, you're the only one for us. Remember Rocco, you'll never walk alone.


Send forth the witticisms from on high