Know Your Enemy: White Tar Edition

Adam Lind having popped the clutch on the Blue Jays bandwagon, this week's series against the Bronx Bombers is being billed as a Big One. Perhaps we should gaze into the smoggy depths of Yankeeland and find out what we are getting ourselves into.

• Bad news for Jays pitching as Hideki Matsui will be coming off the DL for tomorrow's game. Matsui's had success against the Jays, knocking 10 tater tots in 90 games. Matsui's knee will only allow him to DH, meaning both Johnny Damon and Jason Giambi must both strap on the leather. Giambi's defense has improved greatly this year, and his more into latex than leather.
• Another boon for Yankee opponents is the possible return of Carl Pavano. The move up from punchline to rotation contributor is huge, but if Mike Hampton remains employed, there is hope for Pavano.
• With two full years left on his contract, it is already time to begin the Derek Jeter=Brett Favre laziness. Oh heavens! What if Derek Jeter isn't a Yankee for life? It really makes me long for the days when players were cattle, and had no right to choose where they played or for how much. How else can we romanticize our legends? How else can a retired ballplayer ensure he'll never pay for a meal again in his life?
• The Yankees are going to squeeze every last cent of revenue from the new Stadium that they can. They are going to ban all outside food and beverage; forcing the lowly plebes that can afford Yankee tickets to shell out even more for the honor of buying a sponsored drink.
• Carnies are to be pitied, and are unanimously Yankee fans.

The pitching matchups for this series are a real "who's who" of wife beaters and cups of coffee. Darrell Rasner against the man with career highs in wins, ERA+ (high meaning low) and WHIP AJ Burnett. Guess which one of those things will ensure him 3/45? Andy Petitte and David Purcey hook up Wednesday, which should be interesting. Halladay and Ponson will close the series, and hopefully the book on Ponson's sad career.